Search KoopaTV!

Translate

E-mail Subscription

Monday, October 5, 2020

KoopaTV Live Reactions to Masahiro Sakurai Presenting Minecraft Steve & Alex

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A horrible character gets a demotivating presentation. Figures.

I have spared you my reaction to Steve (and Alex, and Zombie, and Enderman) being announced for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate last week. Well, I like that it starts with Mario getting pwned, though that's attributable to Sonic the Hedgehog and Minecraft Creepers instead of anything Steve does, so he gets no credit for that:


However, premiering live on SATURDAY (that's a rare one, folks—and it's to coincide with the Minecraft convention going on that day), Masahiro Sakurai, the director of the Super Smash Bros. series showcased, for three-quarters of an hour, almost everything we gotta know about the Minecraft additions to Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.



I wrote almost, since there's an important disclaimer that what's shown above will likely be changed in some way when the DLC releases on Tuesday, October 13. Also, Steve's Classic Mode route is not shown. Here are our...well, no, it's just me. Here are my reactions to Mr. Sakurai's longer presentation:


[10:28 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Quite frankly I feel disgusted just looking at the "wait for the stream to start" screen.
[10:29 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm hyped for the Mii costumes at least.
[10:30 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And maybe there will be a balance patch where I get buffed.
[10:30 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sakurai is there, saying he's not hiring anyone for his company, Sora Ltd.
He recorded this in MID-AUGUST.
[10:32 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: He has no recording staff, so he's talking to a camera. Apologises for sub-titles and no voiceover.
He uses lunch sessions to playtest with his staff, and now he's admitting that Steve isn't playtested as of this recording.
[10:32 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But he will be by the game releases.
[10:32 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: *character
[10:32 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ugggh this is bad already
[10:32 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf
[10:33 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "For one of his taunts he eats a steak"
[10:33 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: BAD
[10:33 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Steve's first jump can't reach Battlefield's platform, like Jigglypuff.
[10:35 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sword in neutral attacks, smash attacks, and air  attacks.
YET ANOTHER SWORDSMAN, EH?
[10:36 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Oh my gosh their ANIMATIONS ARE SO BAD
[10:36 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They don't even react when they're hit.
[10:36 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Steve stole my up-air.
[10:37 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: His main mechanic is using "craft" to upgrade his A-moves.
[10:37 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: LIMITED DURABILITY
[10:38 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "The fire works like PK Fire" uh oh.
[10:38 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: STEVE WILL BE THE NEW NESS
[10:38 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Fitting for annoying spamming children. Ugggh online is ruined. Again.
[10:38 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (After being ruined by Sans Mii Gunner)
[10:40 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Steve's down-air is comparable to Kirby's Stone, another move commonly spammed by dumb kids.
[10:40 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THEY KNEW EXACTLY WHO THEY WERE DESIGNING STEVE FOR
[10:40 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: DUMB KIDS ARE GONNA LOVE HIIIM
[10:42 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Steve/Alex is stealing Phoenix's evidence-gathering mechanic from Marvel vs. CAPCOM 3.
[10:42 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Alternatively, mining materials reminds me of pickaxing things in Fortnite.
[10:42 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You mine different materials depending on the stage.
[10:42 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Which is why they had to make adjustments to all of the stages in the game.
[10:42 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: To give them materials properties.
[10:43 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: If you pick Battlefield-form or Omega-form, the materials appear in a pre-determined manner.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Alex Minecraft World cows fenced
I'm not listening. I'm pondering how to free those blocky moos.
(I have a history of bovine liberation!)


[10:44 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The fenced area in the Minecraft stage background seems to randomly switch between cows and sheep.
[10:44 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And chickens.
[10:45 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf
[10:46 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sakurai has a real-life diamond sword/axe toy and I figure it's why he's recording alone.
[10:46 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I wouldn't want to be near him while he's swinging that around.

Masahiro Sakurai Minecraft diamond sword pickaxe real life couch
Masahiro Sakurai being a crazy diamond pickaxe murderer doesn't surprise me in 2020.


[10:47 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They also updated the stages to make the Minecraft "Create Block" feature work, though it's not specified how or why.
[10:48 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sakurai is showing off using blocks for edgeguarding.
[10:48 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But he thinks it might be too overpowered in the final release.
[10:49 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There are invisible walls that you can't make blocks past on the edges of the stage.
[10:49 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Minecrafters have a materials gauge on the damage % area. Probably should've mentioned that earlier.
[10:50 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: HE STOLE MY SIDE-B
[10:50 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (karting around)
[10:50 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And it can be jump-cancelled, JUST LIKE MINE.
[10:51 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And, like mine, you can vary the speed too.
[10:51 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Except his cart can grab opponents while mine is always attached to me.
[10:51 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: SO HE STOLE IT AND MADE IT BETTER
[10:51 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: BUT WILL I GET A BUFF? NOPE, 'CAUSE I'M FREE.
[10:52 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: THEIR UP-B CAN GLIDE LIKE IT'S BRAWL ALL OVER AGAIN
[10:53 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Kids are also gonna spam the TNT down-b.
[10:53 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's basically the Blast Box item.
[10:54 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ugh Steve is just gonna camp with this.
[10:55 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: wtf
[10:55 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Steve's Final Smash puts someone in a house, and it explodes, AND THEY THEN "eat a victory steak" for no reason?
[10:55 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: WHY DO THEY HATE COWS SO MUCH
[10:56 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: When Steve falls asleep, he summons a bed.
[10:56 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Which should make his hitbox HUGE and easy to Rest on.
[10:57 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Alright, this stage is definitely gonna get banned in competitive play.

Real Kirby Minecraft hat Steve Alex Super Smash Bros. Ultimate official
There has been a very fake Minecraft-Kirby floating around the Internet.
This is the real one.


[10:58 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There are six random "biomes" with lots of destructible terrain.
[11:00 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sakurai is telling people where to camp to mine the most iron.
[11:00 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (On the right side of the Minecraft stage)
[11:04 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sakurai is battling spirits now. Minecraft's Slime is a MASSIVE downgrade from Dragon Quest's Slime.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Alex Minecraft House of Boom Final Smash victory steak Spirit Slime
In the top left corner, you can see how lame Minecraft Slime look. You know, like everything else in Minecraft.
In the centre-right, you can see Alex eating a “victory steak” after her House of Boom Final Smash.
This is why it's imperative to free those fenced cows.


[11:06 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There is a guy on GameFAQs who has done all of the spirit matches without using any spirits or items.
[11:06 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sakurai was asking who has done so.
[11:07 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "we unfortunately weren't able to include music from the original game."
[11:07 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So they selected tracks from spin-offs that would be more fitting, and "arranged" versions.
[11:07 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Seven total songs, six are arranged.
[11:08 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Release is October 13. ew
[11:08 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I most definitely will not be buying this for $5.99.
[11:08 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The Mii costumes are all from Minecraft?
[11:08 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ew
[11:08 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Creeper (Brawler)"
[11:09 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Pig (Brawler)"
[11:09 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Diamond Armor (Swordfighter)
[11:09 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: yo wot
[11:09 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Gil (Swordfighter)" not a Minecrafter
[11:09 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Bomberman (Brawler)"
[11:09 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: OH
[11:09 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: NOOOO
[11:10 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: TRAVIS TOUCHDOWN IS A MII SWORDFIGHTER
[11:10 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: RIP

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Mii Fighters round 7 Creeper Pig Diamond Armor Gil Bomberman Travis Touchdown Minecraft
When I saw that Pig was a Mii costume, I was wondering about the conflict of interest that'd occur if Cow was a Mii costume, too.
Instead, Travis Touchdown of No More Heroes is a Mii costume, and that means he won't be a playable character.


[11:10 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: NOOO
[11:11 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sakurai showing a Banjo & Kazooie amiibo, available 2021.
[11:11 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And a Byleth (male) amiibo.
[11:12 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No female Byleth.
[11:12 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: There's also a Terry Bogard amiibo.
[11:12 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: All planned for 2021 with no specifics.
[11:12 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Will an amiibo for Steve be made?"
[11:12 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sakurai thinks it'll be easy to do.
[11:13 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sakurai thinks the DLC is much cheaper than buying amiibo.
[11:14 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sakurai is finally explaining how My Music for Small Battlefield works.
[11:14 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: After I wrote a groundbreaking article about it.
[11:14 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.koopatv.org/2020/08/small-battlefield-update-smash-bros.html
[11:15 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sakurai says he had a lot of support from Microsoft for Banjo and Steve.
[11:15 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sakurai is reflecting that Smash Bros. is a good game to play during times of extreme weather and plague where you don't want to go outside.
[11:15 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Well, this was terrible.
[11:16 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Steve and Alex look incredibly out-of-place (on purpose) and there's a lot of dissonance for that.
[11:16 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And Travis Touchdown is deconfirmed.



Ludwig dreads continuing to play Super Smash Bros. Ultimate after this, between how obnoxious the army of Steve players will inevitably be and how much innocent bovine blood they will shed, and the bad news with the Miis. He hopes that at least Jigglypuff will have a good match-up against Steve, and he's hoping that he'll get buffs because Steve took his moves but made them better.


The previous Sakurai presentation was on the preceding DLC character, Min Min.
Steve has released in Version 9.0.0. Here are Ludwig's thoughts.

6 comments :

  1. did you just post you talking to yourself? wow. not gonna lie thats kinda cringe, you coulda at least posted discord logs to make you seem less lonely LMAO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That WAS a Discord log.

      Other staffers were supposed to show up but, 1. Saturday is an awkward time
      2. Minecraft is an awful topic and no one wants to show up

      I didn't even want to do this. >.>

      Delete
    2. then dont its your own website XD

      Delete
    3. I felt obligated that I have to have SOME content about Steve because I'm probably going to be bitching about him for years to come, and this "article" will be the foundation of that.

      Delete

We embrace your comments. No identification required, but if you don't comment as Anonymous, then you will be entered into the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program and may win prizes if you keep up activity!
Expect a reply between 1 minute to 24 hours. We advise you to receive an e-mail notification for when we do reply.
Also, see our Disclaimers.

Spamming is bad, so don't spam. Spam includes random advertisements and obviously being a robot. Our vendor may subject you to CAPTCHAs.

If you comment on an article that is older than 60 days, you will have to wait for a staffer to approve your comment. It will get approved and replied to, don't worry. Unless you're a spambot.