By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Going back to a 10-year old debate, and looking ahead to a new beauty.
It's been a whole week since the last article on Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon, when the evolutions of the Alola Starter Pokémon were revealed. You know the game comes out in a month, right? It's the last unreleased game of the year that KoopaTV has dedicated a lot of focus on, so yeah, you should expect that we pay attention to it.
Meanwhile, I expect that YOU will pay attention to this trailer released today by The Pokémon Company International.
All of the new names to learn: Silvally, Hakamo-o, Kommo-o, Steenee, Tsareena, Ribombee, Alolan Grimer, Alolan Muk, Olivia, and Ilima.
So, what have we learned about Silvally?
It's been a whole week since the last article on Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon, when the evolutions of the Alola Starter Pokémon were revealed. You know the game comes out in a month, right? It's the last unreleased game of the year that KoopaTV has dedicated a lot of focus on, so yeah, you should expect that we pay attention to it.
Meanwhile, I expect that YOU will pay attention to this trailer released today by The Pokémon Company International.
All of the new names to learn: Silvally, Hakamo-o, Kommo-o, Steenee, Tsareena, Ribombee, Alolan Grimer, Alolan Muk, Olivia, and Ilima.
So, what have we learned about Silvally?
It evolves from Type: Null, which already featured in an article. Fortunately, it ditched the whole colon thing, and also its restrictive restraining device, resulting in a weight loss. (It gained a foot in height, though.) It no longer seems to wish to be a mere (mare?) Pocket Card Jockey character.
Silvally's ability is the “RKS System”, which functions as Arceus's Multitype ability in that special held items will change Silvally's typing from Normal to any of the other types, depending on the item. It has a special move, Multi-Attack, which is identical to Arceus's Judgment in that its typing is whatever type Silvally is, depending on that held item.
Is Silvally a man-made attempt at rivaling or duplicating Arceus, the Creator of the Pokémon World? Consider that “RKS” is actually how you pronounce Arceus.
A bit of backstory, there. After Pokémon Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum were released, Pokémon forums across the Internet always had threads asking about how you're supposed to pronounce Arceus's name. Perhaps it's so complicated because it's blasphemy to utter Arceus's name in vain? Anyway, Pokémon Battle Revolution in 2007 gave us “Arse-ee-us”, as did the television show House M.D. (an unofficial source) in 2011. Then, Arceus's own movie, Arceus and the Jewel of Life in 2009, said it's “Ar-kee-us”. The movie's trailer says “Ar-kee-us” as well. Allegedly, another promotional trailer said “Ar-say-us”. Well, the official and FINAL pronunciation ended up being close enough to how you'd say “RKS”, with Pokédex 3D Pro saying “Ar-kee-us”.
Moving on. Like Jangmo-o, I don't care about Hakamo-o or Kommo-o. They are the first Dragon/Fighting dual-type, though. I also don't care about Ribombee, the evolution of Cutiefly. (I haven't even MENTIONED Cutiefly on KoopaTV, but if I did, it'd be on July 1.)
Meanwhile, I do care about Steenee and Tsareena a lot, having already said positive things about its basic form, Bounsweet. They're stunningly beautiful pure Grass types, classified as Fruit.
W-W-Wow... Steenee and Tsareena are the finest fruits in the land. They're not what comes to MY mind when you say Fruit, but, hey. |
It appears that Steenee is a tomboy (yet she still has a skirt, making her the best kind of tomboy) while Tsareena is literally a queen, with her exclusive Queenly Majesty ability that prevents priority due to opponents fearing her. (Why don't opponents fear her for non-priority attacks, too?) She also has the exclusive move Trop Kick, which is a fearsome kick coming from tropical islands that lowers the opponent's Attack stat.
...So regal...I love her! Tsareena is a must-have! |
“Tsareena has the nature of high-class nobility. Any Pokémon or human that approaches it with evil in mind will be punished forthwith. It even turns its fearsome glare upon its own Trainer if the two of them are not fully in sync, or if its Trainer orders it to use a move that will be ineffective.”She sounds perfect. But...
What would Lilligant think if I start obsessing over Tsareena? They're both beautiful, and even close to the same height! |
...Moving on from total beauties to total uglies, it turns out that Grimer and Muk both have Alolan forms that make them have amazing technicolour dreamcoats. The Alolans use Grimer and Muk to eat their garbage for them, and since you are what you eat, Grimer and Muk turned into what you see them as. They've also each gained a Dark type. The Alolan people must have really weird waste.
Speaking of the Alolan people, we learn about two more of them: Olivia, the Kahuna of Akala Island; and Captain Ilima, an expert on Normal types. See here for more information on Kahunas and trials. Ilima looks like a loser (he's a dude, by the way), and Olivia is apparently really young but skilled. Her taste in what's adorable is weirder than Alolan waste.
I'm implying that Nosepass is not adorable. Also, it's cool that her Nosepass is in an Ultra Ball. |
Ludwig always pronounced Arceus as “Arr-koos”, which no one else has done. He wonders if he'll get in trouble with another waifu because Tsareena is topping his list for favourite Alolan Pokémon, and if having too many Grass types on his team (since he's picking Rowlet) will be an issue. If you have a different (or identical) opinion to Ludwig on something, let him know in the comments section.
We now know what Rowlet (and his starter friends) will end up looking like after some TLC.
Hopefully, Arceus Himself gets attention in his region's remakes.
It's important to note that Tsareena evolves from learning Stomp, and her dominating others is her whole shtick.
You are a gross pervert for sexualizing pokemon like Lilligant and Tsareena. You just skimmed over Hakamo-o and Kommo-o in favor of drooling over your oversexualized flora. The number one video game news site my ass. They're probably the closest you will ever get in contact with something resembling a woman, you sick perverted virgin. I hope your parents will read this and realize their mistake, then smother you with a pillow as a form of post-natal abortion.
ReplyDeleteOn the contrary!
DeleteLilligant and Tsareena are classy ladies, far from oversexualised. They befit a royal prince such as myself.
As for the number one video game news site? We never claimed that — in those words, anyway.
The mo-o line just isn't interesting to me, design-wise. I've clearly demonstrated my ability to talk about Pokémon that don't tug at my heart strings, unless you wanna suggest I'm attracted to Silvally, too.
I always thought it was Ar-see-us. Huh.
ReplyDelete(Hm, glad you're commenting without wishing for my death.)
DeleteWhen Rawk read this article, he chimed in that he agrees with House's pronunciation and thought mine was totally unheard of.
Steenee's "skirt" looks more like Callie's puffy romper.
ReplyDeleteSteenee's is PUFFIER.
DeleteOne of Tsareena's abilities is "Queenly Majesty." I see what they did there.
ReplyDeleteI might see wot they did there, but I don't see wot you're saying you're seeing based on that.
DeleteTsareena has the word tsar, who were former emperors of Russia, in her name. As a result, she has a "Queenly Majesty" ability.
Delete...Oh, yeah, that's...that's the whole point.
Delete