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Friday, March 24, 2023

Nessie versus Aliens versus Big Foot: Bad Splatfest Idea, But We Must Pick a Side!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Only one can be real. Even though multiple are.

A new Splatfest dawns upon Splatoon 3... Here is the question:

Splatoon 3 Splatfest Splatcast Nessie aliens Bigfoot which one is real
Which of Nessie, aliens, or Bigfoot is real?
Only ONE can be real.

Asking “Which of these is real?” is the first objectively bad Splatfest question in Splatoon 3—and remember, they haven't done three-way Splatfests before Splatoon 3. In Splatoon and Splatoon 2, it was only two-option questions. Consider that the Splatfests either ask which is the best choice of three options (rock vs. paper vs. scissors or gear vs. grub vs. fun to a deserted island) or what is your favourite personal preference (grass vs. fire vs. water, or spicy vs. sweet vs. sour flavours, or dark chocolate vs. milk chocolate vs. white chocolate). You can have debates over what the best choice is, or have an opinion about, if you had to choose one thing, what your favourite option is.

But when you say only one option can be real, what do you pick if none are real? Well, the one most likely to be real? But then what do you pick if MORE THAN ONE is real? ...Uh... Which one is... the most real...? But realness, like gender, only has two options: it's real or it isn't real. But still, by the end of this article, I need to make a choice of which Splatfest team to join, so I'm going to have to figure out something or just ignore the question prompt.

Thursday, March 23, 2023

Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective Gets Some of the Worst-Designed Merchandise... Ever?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Buy Ghost Trick. But not these shirts.

Apparently, today is “National Puppy Day”, and the presence of Missile the Pomeranian in Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective has gotten publisher CAPCOM to make Ghost Trick merchandise right now.

That's encouraging news. Following the CAPCOM Spotlight and the CAPCOM Publisher Sale (which is still going on, but you only have a few days left to buy the Ace Attorney games on your Nintendo 3DS for $3 each), CAPCOM put out TWO separate surveys. One asking how much you liked the Spotlight, and then one asking for feedback on their big sale. Both of these offered different wallpapers for your desktop or mobile trash device, which means their artists made a whole bunch of new artwork to accomodate all of these wallpapers. Unfortunately, BOTH wallpapers did not have any Ghost Trick characters or references, even though every other franchise from the CAPCOM Spotlight was represented. Even Exoprimal, which is a new franchise that, by definition, is less successful than Ghost Trick is due to it not coming out yet. Why omit Ghost Trick? The characters have great character designs!

Anyway, given that background, it's good that CAPCOM is putting effort to producing some Ghost Trick merchandise that you can purchase now on Amazon. They're even advertising the existence of these shirts on the Ghost Trick website. So, what does it look like? Let's see...

Wednesday, March 22, 2023

Tax Heaven 3000 Should Be How Tax Prep Is Done... or Eliminate Tax Prep Altogether

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I admire the thought that went behind it and want it to be real.

Millions of people have recently learned about the existence of Tax Heaven 3000, a United States income tax return preparation software dressed as a dating simulation developed by MSCHF Product Studios Inc. It... was on the Steam platform, but has now been removed. You can still try to access it from its website, The output, according to the terms of service, is an unreviewed and unmailed self-prepared paper federal tax return for the 2022 tax year that is not comprehensive of all possibilities, and assumes you are a single-filer without dependents. State taxes are not included.

Tax Heaven 3000 Iris social security number SSN 021-83-9566
I have seen many people remark not to trust an anime girl with your social security number.
...You can still put a fake one in and revise it later on the printed paper copy.
But why do you trust Intuit with your social security number over Iris?

For its part, MSCHF describes itself as “an art collective that engages art, fashion, tech, and capitalism. The collective subverts mass/popular culture and corporate operations as tools for critique and intervention. MSCHF, as a practice and as an entity, manifests the ambition for creative work / a creative entity to wield real tangible power (in culture; On the world stage; As measured against the cultural power held by world-straddling companies, celebrities, and media entities).” In non-pretentious language, they like to make fun of things that capitalist societies take as normal when they should be viewed more critically, such as when tax preparation software developer Intuit lobbies the government and anti-tax crusaders to keep American citizens frustrated with doing taxes, when completing it COULD be easy AND free and already calculated for you, since the government already knows that information anyway due to employer-provided information throughout the year.

I like the thought that went behind making Tax Heaven 3000, which is supposed to release on March 30, 2023 for free, though there is a collector's edition that apparently includes a body pillow. (Tax Day is April 18, 2023...) And there is an antagonistic character named Turbo who is into confusion and corporate lobbying. Unlike Iris, who appears to be a wonderful girl.

Tuesday, March 21, 2023

Implications of the Playing for the Planet Alliance 2022 Report (and the Green Game Jam) and its Statistical Falsehoods

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - There's some amazing (as in, it's amazing how deceptive this is) self-back-patting here. But that could affect the games you play going forward.

Do you remember KoopaTV's article on the “Playing for the Planet Alliance” back when it was made in 2019? It's an effort sponsored by the United Nations Environment Programme to get a bunch of game development companies and associations to:

  1. Reduce the carbon impact of the gaming industry to zero
  2. Insert environmental messages into videogames to get gamers to change their personal behaviour
At present, its members include industry heavyweights like Bandai Namco, Microsoft (and you can remember they're vocal about their green initiatives on the Xbox), Niantic, SEGA, Sony Interactive Entertainment, Ubisoft, and Unity. And before you bring up a talking point about how UN climate initiatives tend to leave big polluters alone, TiMi Studio Group (a subsidiary of Tencent Games of CHINA) is also a member. And they've met 100% of their carbon goal in 2022!

In 2019, I brought up how Nintendo is not a member. In 2023, they still aren't a member, though Niantic has been planting trees in Pokémon GO and Pikmin Bloom based on players walking. Several videogame associations across Earth (especially Europe) are members... except for the Entertainment Software Association (ESA), the primary videogame group in the USA. Regardless of that true fact, they're out spreading this false “fact”:

Monday, March 20, 2023

Dragon Quest Treasures Got a Demo!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - How did I like it?

Some time ago, DRAGON QUEST TREASURES released, and I opined that it should have received a demo so gamers could see if they'd like its gameplay loop, which is constructed in a way where it's more fun to play than to watch others play or read about. SQUARE ENIX got my message and released a demo of the game that is the first part of it. Demo progress will transfer to the paid game if you buy it, similar to the spectacular demo for Dragon Quest XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age - Definitive Edition.

And that's nice, because DRAGON QUEST TREASURES initially takes place in the same world as Dragon Quest XI: Erdrea, featuring a younger Erik and his sister Mia living with the Vikings as assistants/servants for them, wishing to go on real treasure escapades like the Vikings do. That's consistent with their backstory in Dragon Quest XI.

Dragon Quest Treasures map of Erdrea Erik
Erik, you'll explore Erdrea years into the future.
For this game, you'll be in Draconia, which is a land of countless treasure made up of two formerly golden dragons that have turned to stone.

The demo starts in control of Erik as he goes around the Vikings to the deck of their boat, and frees Purrsula and Porcus with Mia. They escape and to a mysterious small island and encounter my biggest disappointment of the demo, and it's not that videos can't be captured. (Probably because Koichi Sugiyama worked on this game before he died.)

Friday, March 17, 2023

The Koopalings’ Formerly Green Shells

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Let's dedicate content to this once and for all. Rant coming!

I have been upset for many years now about what Shigeru Miyamoto has done with my shell colour. Well, me and many of my siblings, the Koopalings. Back when we were officially (as in, Nintendo was willing to say this) King Bowser Koopa's children, most of us had green shells to match his green shell, making it clear what our lineage is. Here are examples of our shell colours back before 2009:

Crimes R Us Adventures of Super Mario Bros 3 ladder fighting Koopalings rob bank shell color
Alright, you may say that the Super Mario Bros. 3 cartoon was all sorts of off-model on a frequent basis, but the shell colours were correct. Here is the only set of good sprites that we got before 2009, in Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga. (Everything else was off-model, Hotel Mario (which... is still off-model), or it was Yoshi's Safari, which doesn't give a good view of everyone's backsides.)

Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga 2003 Game Boy Advance Koopaling shell colors Iggy Lemmy Ludwig Larry Morton Roy Wendy
The 3DS remake of Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga changed our designs to fit the post-2009 “consensus.”
But at least sprite comics for many years were based on these correct, on-model colours.
(That's Wendy's only sprite with her shell showing on her sprite sheet.)

And then 2009 happened, New Super Mario Bros. Wii came out, and then Shigeru Miyamoto decided everything about us had to change. That we're merely minions of King Bowser and not his kids, and that his only kid is that rascal Bowser Jr. (And you can read that last “his kid” as either King Bowser or as Shigeru Miyamoto.) With that release, the shell colours changed:

Thursday, March 16, 2023

Called It: The Splatoon 3 North American Championship 2023 Tournament Takes Places at PAX East After All

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Not that anyone said my guess would be wrong, but they just refused to confirm it.

As a smart, educated Koopaling, I knew the moment that Nintendo of America announced the Splatoon 3 Splatsville Showdown that took place in December 2022 and January 2023 that advertised that the Grand Prize winners “will win a round trip to Boston, MA and may be invited to participate in the Splatoon 3 North American Championship 2023 tournament”, that this Boston event would be PAX East.

Some people in the official support Discord server really thought that the trip would be a tour of the city or something, and they wanted to win it as a present for their siblings or parents or whatever. No, the winner would be expected to play in a NintendoVS tournament on PAX East, and you wouldn't want to give the prize to your non-Splatoon-playing younger sister because you wouldn't want them to be humiliated in front of a livestreamed audience. (And yes, it'll be streamed on March 26.)

Anyway, today Nintendo officially announced that, yes, the Splatoon 3 North American Championship 2023 would take place at PAX East (which is a gaming convention that occurs March 23 to March 26, managed by ReedPop, who are also managing E3 2023), and that “[t]op players from the Splatoon 3 Splatsville Showdown tournament will go squid-to-squid for prizes like Splatoon 3 themed controllers and trophies.” Those may sound like inadequate prizes, but keep in mind that everyone able to participate already got a set of prizes. (Including a trophy, the flight to Boston, and a hotel. Not mentioned is if they have PAX East tickets paid for by Nintendo.) Those Splatoon 3 teams are Starburst, Destiny Bond, Crush Soda, and Sayonara.

There are also two Mario Kart 8 Deluxe events for some reason. One is a qualifier (which takes place on two different days) where anyone attending PAX East can play, and if they do well, they get invited to a Championship Cup 2023 on March 26 and be livestreamed. The prizes are more trophies and controllers.

In addition, there is the NintendoVS Arcade booth open throughout PAX East, featuring Mario Party Superstars, Mario Golf: Super Rush, New Super Mario Bros. Deluxe, and Yoshi's Crafted World—all possibly multiplayer titles that they'll want you to play with other gamers there.

Two questions. Number one, why won't Nintendo come to E3 2023? Because ReedPop is marketing E3 2023 as partly a consumer event, they could have a similar multiplayer booth of old games there, too. Number two, why Yoshi's Crafted World? No one cares about that game. You know what would get people in your booth? Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Whether it's available to casually play or they do an actual tournament for it at the event, that'd probably make the NintendoVS booth the hottest one at PAX East. (Or E3 2023 if they did it there.) Yoshi's Crafted World sure isn't in the spirit of NintendoVS, that I can tell you.

Ludwig dislikes the missed opportunity, and it's a bit weird that they are hosting an invitational for a total of four teams to play at. Bit what do you think of the matter? Let KoopaTV know in the comments section, and know that commenting enters YOU into a competition hosted by KoopaTV called the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program.

Wednesday, March 15, 2023

CAPCOM PUBLISHER SALE March 2023: 3DS eShop $3 Games

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Your LAST chance. Ever.

Remember: On March 27, 2023, the Nintendo eShop virtual storefronts on the Wii U and the 3DS will close and you will not be able to purchase new games through any method. As of right now, you can purchase games for the Wii U and 3DS via and/or adding funds to your connected Nintendo Switch wallet.

CAPCOM Publisher Sale March 2023 Nintendo eShop 3DS games $3 Ace Attorney Monster Hunter
This is the CAPCOM PUBLISHER SALE that the publisher referenced in last week's Spotlight.

Every 3DS game CAPCOM has on sale right now, which includes various Monster Hunter, Resident Evil, and Ace Attorney games, is only $2.99. With sales like these, even Detective Dick Gumshoe can buy these games. And as of right now, the only other place you can readily buy Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney–Dual Destinies, and Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney–Spirit of Justice are on... mobile platforms, and I'd never recommend going near those things. On the 3DS, they are unfortunately digital download-only. But I would recommend the fourth, fifth, and sixth mainline Ace Attorney titles before the vast majority of other games, if not any other game on the 3DS. They (and the other Ace Attorney games... look at Ace Attorney Turnabout Collection at 50% off on the Nintendo Switch) are the top games in the adventure genre. At $3 each... that's ridiculous value for games that will last you several tens of hours each.

Note that the 3DS games aren't in sale in Europe. Too bad. Switch games are, though.

Also of note is that after Monster Hunter Stories 2: Wings of Ruin got a permanent MSRP reduction to $40 from $60, it is now 50% off as well, which brings its price to $20. I think that's interesting. (And a great, worthy price point that you should think about.)

Still, Monster Hunter Stories 2 will be available for future purchases for quite a while to come. The Ace Attorney games on the 3DS, and videogames on the 3DS and Wii U in general... won't be. My recommendations are Ace Attorney, which will be on sale until they're no longer purchasable. Don't miss out. ...And get Pocket Card Jockey on the 3DS while you're at it. Sad to say, but there's nothing on the Wii U that I'd really urge you to go for in 2023.

Also, you'll want to buy those Ace Attorney games several days before the 27th, because Dual Destinies and Spirit of Justice both have a DLC case (that is worth the purchase price, which right now is greater than the price of $3 for the whole game) that requires playing the game a little bit to be able to buy and access. Chop chop! Get to it!

If you want Ludwig to discuss more details about why Ace Attorney is so wonderful and more than worth $3, ask him for an explanation in the comments section. If you already have the games, maybe go talk about what last-weeks purchases you're making.

The games in the March 2023 sale are the deepest discounted they've ever been. Just compare to the January 2023 sale.

Tuesday, March 14, 2023

American Legislators Would Rather Save Daylight Than Save Americans

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The priorities aren't aligned, much like your circadian rhythm after switching to Daylight Saving Time.

The worst day (or up there as one of top three worst) that (United States of) Americans must face was this weekend: the day they must switch to Daylight Saving Time. And despite living in Koopa Kingdom under a sane leader, KoopaTV sets itself to Daylight Saving Time standards to align with what goes on in the United States of America, because y'all are our main audience and we're customer(?)-centric. So your pain is my pain. And that makes me extremely sleepy.

Quite frankly, it's ridiculous that the people of America, the land of the free and home of the brave, hasn't gone and rioted against their idiot and hostile legislators for imposing Daylight Saving Time. It's true that no one likes twice-a-year clock changing, so what to do to change that has people divided into two camps. Legislative proponents of permanent Daylight Saving Time keep trying to pass the Sunshine Protection Act, as they did in the Senate in March 2022. This never went anywhere in the House and never became law, and that passing in the Senate is no longer valid in the current session of Congress and has to happen again. So now there is a fresh start to promote Standard Time, which is closest to the natural time that the sun follows. Your body also happens to follow (or want to follow) the sun's movements, as opposed to what the government, school (often ran by the government), and/or employer tells you when to wake up.

When Daylight Saving Time finally ended in 2022, I wrote about the Save Standard Time advocacy group's video series on The Science of Clock Change. (Funded by American Academy of Sleep Medicine Foundation.) Back then, the video series was just... one video, but now there is a playlist of NINE videos. You probably don't need to watch the whole cumulative hour or so of content to get the point, and this article will have some particularly interesting screen grabs that should catch your attention (and are backed by studies). Here's one:

Monday, March 13, 2023

MAR13 Day 2023: Marie the Spreadsheet Superheroine Squid Sister

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Poor Splatoon Wii U.

It is a tragic timing that today, as MAR13 Day (Marie Day) 2023, Splatoon on the Nintendo Wii U has its online services disabled in the name of “temporary emergency maintenance” that is on-going as of March 2, 2023. No one knows when the online service will resume, but the first Splatoon was, of course, Marie's first appearance. As one of the Squid Sisters, she has had interesting banter with her sidekick, Callie, sharing the stages and taking Splatfest sides. I recapped some of Marie's history during MAR13 Day 2022 here, or at least linked to several other KoopaTV articles that go more in-depth to that. So what does that leave for MAR13 Day 2023, besides much of Splatoon being inaccessible?

Splatoon 3 Inkopolis Square DLC Callie Marie Squid Sisters talking
Marie sitting bored during MAR13 Day in Inkopolis.

If you bought the Splatoon 3 Expansion Pass, then you have access to Inkopolis as part of Wave 1 of the DLC. It's rather useless (though it does give you access to five new Tableturf Battle opponents), and Callie and Marie do not perform the newscast. I wouldn't recommend purchasing the Pass now. Still, it made the above screenshot possible. But you do not need to make an additional purchase in order to interact with Marie in Splatoon 3, and I'll discuss that. Just be warned that this involves some Splatoon 3 spoilers.