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Thursday, October 26, 2017

It’s time to boycott KoopaTV, and join the Odyssey!

By LITTLE FRUINI - It may be off the rails, but it’s-a time to raise our sails!

Yup, it’s-a me, Little Fruini, and the day has finally come, my pizanos. Super Mario Odyssey on the Nintendo Switch is finally out, and I want YOU to boycott KoopaTV!

You may be thinking to yourself, “Little Fruini! If we boycott KoopaTV, how else will we have our daily fulfillment of fun?!” I’m glad you thought so, and I offer you to come and join the Odyssey! The Odyssey was founded upon the game, Super Mario Odyssey, a high-quality adored by many critics. The game has great music, the essence of classic 3D platforming, and a catchy song worthy of Ludwig von Koopa himself! This game must be good if it has something Ludwig likes!

Anyway, where we’re going is a place beyond the globe! A place where KoopaTV would be dared to mention! Do you want to know the best part? You can already do it now, on the Nintendo Switch!

Most importantly, though, it’ll be our special day…


Super Mario Odyssey wedding dress Princess Peach Piranha Plant flowers worried
Doesn't she look gorgeous?!

The key to all legendary pieces of art is presentation! Of course I can’t just tell you to boycott one thing and join another! What do I, Little Fruini, creator of the respective YouTube channel who has a serious problem with uploading, have?

I have a song, and it’ll be sure to get some up their seats and on their feet! Oh yeah! 


It's time to jump in the air!


Let’s-a go to new heights, in the Odyssey, similar to the vein of the Shines in Sunshine, or traveling through the galaxies in Galaxy! Why bother reading biased articles about New York City or Mexico from yours truly, when you can visit their respective lands in the game?

Traveling around the globe hasn’t been as vivid as now, and it’s in the shape of a hat! Long gone are the days of seeing the outside world through televisions. Must that be why this is called KoopaTV? After all, who doesn’t love hats?


Where we're going, we don't need cars!

There are different people to meet during your travels, including New Donk City’s humans and the Sand Kingdom’s Mexican skeletons. KoopaTV, on the other hand, stars mostly villains (and sentient GameCube controllers, but…). Just the environments themselves tell of a unique setting, filled with different Power Moons within its kingdom. However, there’s always fear present when traveling to the unknown, which is why I’m here to say:

Jump up, don't be scared! Your cares will soar away!


While feared by the KoopaTV staff, the new feature of Super Mario Odyssey is the cap mechanic, one which few games take advantage of! This feature is so exciting, I may want to put a cap on my cap!

Little Fruini captured hat cap silhouette
Yahoo!

With the cap mechanic, it opens a whole new set of abilities which few people utilize as a game mechanic! In a sense, this adds a new level of transformation not present in other games. Have you ever wondered what it felt to be a dinosaur, and not just ride on one? Did you ever have the desire to control great political power, and know one's deepest life secrets, all with a hat?

Super Mario Odyssey pug dog captured mustache Cappy real life hat cap
With this game, you too can be a helpless little pup gaining the affection of millions of gamers! *wink*

The only other time this has been truly done is with Banjo-Kazooie, but even that was limited to visiting a specific NPC. How many transformations could be done with Banjo? Only five?

For contrast, Super Mario can capture much more than that, including humans, meat, traffic cones, and manholes! This isn’t even including the Koopa Troop badd-... soldiers! You definitely won’t find this much variety in a Banjo and Kazooie game, especially not now!


It’s freedom like you never knew!


Super Mario Odyssey is a game designed to be vast! I have the perfect picture to describe this freedom!

Mario hat on globe of Earth cap
The land is at my- er... your grasp!

As avid KoopaTV readers know, the choice Ludwig made was freedom over privacy! Rightly so, as Super Mario Odyssey is the game that changes the Mario formula, traveling around the globe!

This is an open-air game, the first and only of its kind. You’re never told to follow anyone’s direction. You are the master of the game, swimming in the sea and climbing skyscrapers!

Soaring through new heights, there’s nothing to fear when absolute control is available right now on your Nintendo Switch. This game is the definition of new-found freedom, and I want-a YOU to be a part of it! For this, I ask you: join the Odyssey! Boycott KoopaTV!

Oh, and Ludwig… Before I go, I want to invite you to spaghetti, over at my house. It’ll have a lovely raviol-...


HOLY CAP! WHAT…?


What…? I swore I saw it… It was right here! It’s just… gone now? Where even IS that plumber?!

How… I need to sleep.

I’m gonna… come back tomorrow. I’ll watch Stranger Things then.



I’m thinking about what I last truly remember. After I walked into a GameStop, a bad choice on my part, a cap with eyes fell into my hand. It was powerful, and I lost control. I had no charge and no signal on my phone, and before I knew it, I was unconscious. I had faint glimpses of control, and had this strange addiction with hats, albeit a better novelty item compared to shoes.


Perhaps if Little Fruini did not go through so much effort to buy a Nintendo Switch, he would not be in such a bad situation with Cappy.
KoopaTV wrote a non-guest Super Mario Odyssey release article!

8 comments :

  1. I'd just like to say for the record that I TOTALLY called that this article would involve Cappy shenanigans just from seeing it in my RSS feed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh dang I didn't know we were being RSS fed.

      I don't know wot that actually involves us looking like.

      Delete
    2. Just? Not the... many other implications? The logo, the form of speech, the creepy pictures?

      Delete
    3. I don't think you can tell that from its headline in an RSS feed.

      You'd have to read the whole article.

      Delete
    4. Ludwig is correct, all I saw was the title and it was enough.

      Delete
    5. ...Well, I hope by now you read the rest of it. :o

      Delete
  2. I'll be receiving my copy in the mail tomorrow. The best part is I got it for free because I won it in a contest. Not only will I have the game of the year in my hands soon, tonight I'll be attending the Legend of Zelda Symphony concert in San Antonio, TX. This will be a great day that I will look back on for years to come.

    ReplyDelete

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