This week, Splatoon asks us this question:
|I'd rather build (choose one):|
Which Splatfest option will you choose for the big battle this Saturday (March 19, 2016)? Well, I'm not really strongly for or against these options, but Nintendo made it very easy for me to pick based on Callie and Marie's dialogue:
|Marie/Team Sandcastle supports Tom Clancy's The Division and division in general. Great!|
|Callie/Team Snowman supports talking like a |
It's critical to note the gendered nature of Callie and the Splatfest. You're being asked if you'd rather build a snowman or a sandcastle... The latter is fine, but what if I wanted to build a snowwoman?
In Kirby: Triple Deluxe, Kirby is tasked with putting snow people (a husband and a wife?) together in Old Odyssey. In Animal Crossing: New Leaf, there is a whole Snow People family of Snowman, Snowmam, Snowboy, and Snowtyke.
|Next game: Crossdressing/transgendered snow people. Progress.|
Screenshot from SwimmingBird941.
Now, listen. I don't have any personal connection to snow folks or sand castles. In my world, there's Mizzter Blizzard, and the Sand Portal, which is a magical sand castle. A person didn't really build it... it's on Gelato Beach and it appears when a certain Dune Bud is sprayed. You might remember it from Super Mario Sunshine, but I never visited the place. Bowser Jr. did. I've only heard about it.
|It's pretty much two-dimensional.|
Screenshot from MultiClassicgamer.
Mizzter Blizzard is a loser, so I don't really care about him. Lost more than Marco Rubio.
In general, I'll say I prefer the beach to some winter wasteland. Winter wastelands remind me of Sherbet Land (from Mario Kart 64) in Mario Kart Wii, which every biker picked online because it was a wide-open space where you just do wheelies. I don't think there's any snowmen or snowwomen there. Just ice and malicious penguins.
Speaking of malicious cold creatures, here's callous Callie, and a very good reason why I'm not going to be on the side of Team Snowman:
|Callie the Inkling holding up a DVD of Disney's Frozen.|
Picture provided by ShinyGirafarig, for KoopaTV's use.
So. Team Sandcastle. Let's go. All you need is sand and water. For snow, you need a specific kind of snow or it won't work. It just won't work. This makes building anything with snow a hassle. Not a fun activity. Your hands/gloves/mittens will be all wet and gross by the end.
That said, KoopaTV staffer Vortexica was asking what would happen if you built a snowman out of sand, and a sandcastle out of snow. (He also said that in Europe, their Splatfest is Jetpack vs. Hoverboard, and he'd vote Jetpack.)
Well, one of those permutations is an igloo.
...And the other is this creep:
Yup, Mr. Sandman from Punch-Out!!. That's a knock against sand and a knock against men.
At least sandcastles are gender-neutral. And Mexico will pay for its construction. ...Seriously! Mexico players will mostly be on Team Sandcastle! We love the Mexican people. They just don't contribute any readership numbers to the site.
Ludwig hasn't actually chosen a team in-game in Splatoon as of publishing. You can try to change his mind before Saturday. The way this article was written is indicative about how little Ludwig cares about this Splatfest theme.
The Splatoon Splatfest updates announced from the Nintendo Direct two weeks ago is going to apply. Read about that Direct here.
For the previous write-up covering a Splatfest, and one Ludwig put more effort into, read about Pokémon Red vs. Pokémon Blue.
Well, now there's a sandcastle Pokémon.
This guest poster sounds like he'd be on Team Sandcastle too.