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Thursday, May 28, 2020

Oh. Sonic the Hedgehog Movie Is Getting a Sequel

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Who could've seen this coming? Well...

Let's quote what I wrote in February about the Sonic the Hedgehog movie:
“Both of the last scenes set up for a sequel hook, and I'm not sure that it's a good thing for a movie that the most-discussed thing is the possibility of a future movie. Like, is the first one not good enough to stand on its own?”

Turns out I'm probably right. Well, the possibility of a future movie is a surety now, since Paramount Pictures confirmed today that “they have commenced development on a sequel” but “decisions have not been made yet regarding casting or a production start date.” (I suppose it's not a surety that it won't get cancelled or something.)

And that's pretty much all we know. Well, we know who is producing, directing, and executive producing, but since I don't know who these people are, what do I care to repeat their names to you?

I'll now dedicate the rest of this article to a short rant about the Sonic the Hedgehog movie.

Let's say I'm watching TV. Perhaps Fox News Channel. In the rare instances that the commercials are for other products besides Mike Lindell's MyPillow (or his book), sometimes there's a Verizon ad that the Sonic the Hedgehog movie is now available on-demand.

It's a REALLY cringey commercial. Like, I'd rather watch the MyPillow commercial. It's basically the same as the online trailers (except shorter) and features Sonic saying he has no idea how he's not dead. There's... a different feeling to a cringey commercial being pushed to you on live television, rather than you seeking it out on the Internet where you could close the window or skip the ad or whatever. You can't do that on TV. You either mute it or change the channel (which is counterproductive if you want to be on that channel)... or you sit through and watch the commercial.

Like, I'm a gamer. This movie is supposed to be for gamers. The commercial is supposed to be targeted towards gamers like myself. I'm supposed to be in the audience of people who would appreciate what it shows.

But it's embarrassing. I don't identify with it at all, and I feel embarrassed that I belong to the same interest group as people who are supposed to identify with it. Like, what am I doing with my life?

So if you look at Verizon's site listing for the Sonic the Hedgehog movie... yikes, I don't want to be associated with this: 

Verizon Fios Sonic the Hedgehog movie buy rent related shows
What the hell is going on in the More like this section?
That's all preschool stuff, the kind of crap you see in YouTube's Related videos on videos marked For Kids.
Like Peppa Pig. Peppa Pig is the Mike Lindell of YouTube. And Sonic's down there too.


Ludwig doesn't have an actual video clip of the commercial, but, eh, it showcases Sonic doing his obnoxious ADHD Sonic stuff, and that's bad enough to think about. There's totally a 0% chance Ludwig will watch a sequel to that. Will you?


Ludwig formally wants Mike Lindell to go away.

2 comments :

  1. Movies don't stand on their own EVER these days--not if Hollywood can help it. The only thing better to them than one successful movie is two successful movies, and with sequels, they assume that if the first one did well, sequels can do well too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TRILOGIES > DUOLOGIES

      Guess we'll have three, then.

      SONIC 3

      AND KNUCKLES

      Delete

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