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Thursday, January 24, 2019

Typical Socialist: Nintendo 64 Is AOC's Best Console; Never Owned One

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - There's an implicit message against streaming games somewhere in this.

Apparently, there are a lot of young kids out there being lead into the transsexual life. This isn't a rant about that, but just some necessary background. It turns out that feuding with biology is possible but expensive, so advocates want to help by fund-raising. What's a great way to make money? Charity game streaming, apparently. Hey, if it works for cancer, it'll work for transsexual kids.

And apparently it does actually work, especially with celebrities backing it, like 29-year old recently-inaugurated United States representative (representing the 14th district of New York) and socialist Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (or AOC). We haven't mentioned her at all on KoopaTV, but our brother-from-another-mother site discusses her literally every other day. No one will appreciate if we satirise them by never talking about AOC, so we might as well do it once. And it's about videogames!

Ms. Ocasio-Cortez appeared on the stream alluded to in the first paragraph, which was playing Donkey Kong 64. Referring to the publicly-less-appreciated Nintendo 64 game as a “lemon” after the fact, she spoke of how the Nintendo 64 is “probably the best system out of all of them.”

Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez Twitter Donkey Kong Nintendo 64 lemons into lemonade
What did Donkey Kong 64 do to deserve that characterisation?

In detail, she explained,

“I never owned an N64, but I do think it's probably the best system out of all of them. I never owned an N64, but I used to go to my cousin's house all of the time, and she had Super Mario 64, Pokémon Snap, and probably a handful of other things. [...] And that's probably all that I know how to play.”

It's unclear if she's being authentic in never saying “Nintendo 64” by just calling the system the “N64” (Millennials love to abbreviate things, hence why she goes by AOC) or if she's censoring Nintendo's name after the LGBT community found Nintendo to be akin to Uganda in terms of LGBT issues. (That's yet another abbreviation that they like to use. Or used to. Now there's a lot more letters involved.)

People are saying that Ms. Ocasio-Cortez is a “one of us” gamer, and it's obvious from her own explanation that she's not. She's definitely a socialist, though. Socialists don't like private property ownership—they want a public, community Nintendo 64, rather than people each enjoying their own. It's a scary philosophy, but it's one that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez lives out personally, unlike some of those hypocrite liberals who espouse one ideal and then live the opposite.

What's more frightening, unfortunately, is this poll saying 74% of Democrats would consider voting for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for president of the United States. (Article linking to the aforementioned brother-from-another site.)

If you want your own game consoles that you can play for yourself without the government making you share it, vote differently in the 2024 presidential election. ...And while you're at it, whomever the Democrat nominee of 2020 probably feels the same way as Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, but isn't as open about it. Consider that, too.

KoopaTV might be the only videogame site that reported this story with an unapologetically anti-socialist slant to it. That's a bit concerning. There should be more. But there isn't. That's why KoopaTV is a valuable resource of the Internet, and it's a good idea for you to stick around for future KoopaTV articles! Don't ask Ludwig if lending games to friends is considered socialism, too. Or if sharing KoopaTV articles for free is considered socialism.

Since it's not obvious from this article, Ludwig doesn't have any nostalgia for the Nintendo 64 and disagrees with the idea that it's the best.


  1. Was it the best system of all time? Calling ANY system that would be an exaggeration, really. But what it was was the end and beginning of an era in video gaming. And many of the games for the N64 continue to stand the test of time--even if some of them have done so via HD remakes.

    Also, I think at this point nearly as high a percent of Americans would vote for the piece of wood from Ed, Edd, & Eddy for president of the United States, so that poll really isn't so frightening to me.

    1. Something has to be the best!

      Pokémon Snap being the best gaming has to offer is a strange opinion though.

    2. ...When was Pokemon Snap brought up?

    3. “I never owned an N64, but I do think it's probably the best system out of all of them. I never owned an N64, but I used to go to my cousin's house all of the time, and she had Super Mario 64, Pokémon Snap, and probably a handful of other things. [...] And that's probably all that I know how to play.”
      - Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's quote, carefully transcribed into the article

      She's saying the Nintendo 64 is the best console based on SM64 and Snap.

    4. Oh. Must've glossed over that paragraph, sorry.

    5. It's okay.

      (It's the only paragraph in the whole article that's not my opinion!)


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