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Monday, December 11, 2017

Nintendo and Post Consumer Brands: Celiac Discrimination!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Oh, and today some official plumber cereal got released.

From September 1 to March 31, 2018, if you are a legal resident of the United States of America, you can buy Post Consumer Brands cereals and win a Nintendo Switch with Super Mario Odyssey! They are giving away 500 Nintendo Switch systems between over three months ago and over three months into the future. The odds of winning? Well, Nintendo's press release mentions 20,000,000 boxes the winning codes can be found in, but the Official Rules states that whatever the code in the box is doesn't matter, and what matters is WHEN you submit the code. There are 500 randomly predetermined winning times for code submission, so they are probably at 4 AM on Christmas or something.

It's apparently important to note that Nintendo is not a sponsor, co-sponsor, or administrator of the sweepstakes. Merely a partner and promoter.

Post cereal Mario Nintendo Switch Honey Comb Bunches of Oats Golden Crisp
I'm allergic to everything you see in this picture, in more ways than one.

I'm fairly concerned, as someone who has to live on a gluten-free diet, about whether or not Nintendo is discriminating against people who share my affliction. Shouldn't people with Celiac Disease be able to share in getting free Nintendo Switch products? Sure, you can buy the cereal just for a chance to win, but you'd get a better return-on-investment by just buying lottery tickets. The value comes from eating presumably-decent cereal. Is my concern warranted? I go through the details and present them for you:

Here are all of the participating cereals (according to the Rules) and their main ingredients. Thankfully, not every single possible SKU (stock keeping unit, aka a unique variation) is represented, since Malt-O-Meal has over 30 of those. Red means it is not gluten-free, gold means it could be gluten-free depending on how it's processed that day, and green means it looks safe from the ingredients.
  • Grape-Nuts
    • Grape-Nuts the original (20.5 oz and 29 oz)
      • Whole Grain Wheat Flour, Malted Barley Flour
  • Golden Crisp
    • Golden Crisp The Original (14.5 oz)
      • Sugar, Wheat, Corn Syrup, Honey 
  • Honey Bunches of Oats
    • Honey Bunches of Oats with Almond (14.5 oz and 18 oz)
      • Corn, Whole Grain Wheat, Sugar, Whole Grain Rolled Oats, Brown Sugar, Almonds
    • Honey Bunches of Oats Honey Roasted  (14.5 oz and 18 oz)
      • Corn, Whole Grain Wheat, Sugar, Whole Grain Rolled Oats, Brown Sugar, Rice
    • Honey Bunches of Oats with Strawberry (13 oz)
      • Corn, Whole Grain Wheat, Sugar, Whole Grain Rolled Oats, Brown Sugar, Rice, Dried Strawberries
  • Honeycomb
    • Honeycomb The Original (12.5 oz and 16 oz)
      • Corn Flour, Sugar, Whole Grain Oat Flour, Modified Cornstarch, Corn Syrup, Honey, Salt, Turmeric, Wheat Starch 
  • Alpha-Bits
    • Alpha-Bits
      • Whole Grain Oat Flour, Sugar, Yellow Corn Flour; manufactured on equipment that processes wheat
  • Malt-O-Meal
    • Cinnamon Toasters (24.4 oz and 39 oz)
      • Whole Grain Wheat, Sugar, Rice Flour
    • Marshmallow Mateys (24 oz and 38 oz)
      • Whole Grain Oat Flour, Sugar, Corn Syrup, Wheat Starch
    • Cookies & Cream (34 oz)
      • Corn Flour, Sugar, Whole Grain Oat Flour, Cocoa processed with Akali, Corn Syrup
    • Peanut Butter (39 oz)
      • Corn Flour, Sugar, Peanut Butter
    • Honey Graham Toasters (38 oz)
      • Whole Grain Wheat, Corn Meal, Sugar, Molasses
    • S'mores (30 oz)
      • Corn Meal, Sugar, Whole Grain Wheat, Marshmallows (made of pork), Molasses
    • Coco Roos (38 oz)
      • Sugar, Corn Meal, Corn Flour, Corn Syrup, Coconut Oil and/or Canola Oil and/or Soybean Oil, Corn Bran, Modified Corn Starch, Cocoa (processed with Alkali)

Contrary to the name, Malt-O-Meal cold cereals aren't made of malt (barley, which has gluten), so some of them are safe for Celiacs to eat. All of the normal Post stuff I would stay away from. In case you aren't aware, Post bought out Malt-O-Meal back in 2015, so that's why they are treated pretty differently than the rest of Post's stuff. I have no idea if any of the cereal is worth eating, but Malt-O-Meal advertises that you can get a refund on their cereal if you don't like it, with refunds being valid for only one item per flavour per household. You could take the promotional code and then get refunded for it!

Oh, I forgot to mention. There is an AMOE, or Alternative Method of Entry, that opens March 16, 2018 and lasts for two weeks. Simply go to this website and request a code, which you can do three times a day. No purchase necessary! Assuming that winning times of entry are equally distributed over time and that the competition is equally distributed as well (which are BIG assumptions), this is a 15-day window out of the 212 days the contest is open. That's 7.075% of the contest is open during a no-purchase-necessary time window. That leaves around 35 Nintendo Switch systems up for grabs during this time! We'll remind you in March to take advantage of it, as a benefit to being a KoopaTV reader. (...Just remind us to remind you.)

Meanwhile, there is “Super Mario Cereal” now launching, brought to you by Kellogg's, described as “star shaped cereal with Super Mario inspired marshmallows.” That's made of whole grain oat flour, sugar, yellow corn flour, rice flour, oat fiber, gelatin, and wheat flour. That's a lot of flour types, and that wheat flour at the end ruins it.

Amazingly, the box doubles as an amiibo, making Super Mario Cereal the cheapest amiibo to acquire, unless you count the 6-pack of amiibo cards for $6 you can get for Animal Crossing.

Here's one more Kellogg's product that no one is talking about and it might not even be announced yet:

Kellogg's Mario Kart fruit flavored snacks 8 Luigi Luicig
“Join Mario and Luicig as they game through these fruit flavored snacks”

“Kellogg's MarioKart fruit flavored snacks” are gluten-free and fat-free, so I can eat them. No special prize associated with them, but they might taste good. I'm just worried about who Luicig is supposed to be. Sounds like a horrible mash-up of myself and Luigi. Do I really want to join a half-Ludwig? That sounds... dangerous.


Ludwig already owns a Nintendo Switch, but sees nothing wrong with winning another one for free. That said, if luck-based contests aren't your thing, then you can still win prizes by participating in KoopaTV's very own KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program, which is 100% skill-based and completely transparent! He doesn't recommend buying any food product with Mario on the front, because it's probably poisonous. (Poison not included in the ingredients listings.)

14 comments :

  1. "Shouldn't people with Celiac Disease be able to share in getting free Nintendo Switch products?"

    You imply that there actually is a legitimate chance to win a cereal box contest when everyone knows they always just rig the whole thing--usually with fake winners in the first place. :P #Conspiracy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You said yourself that those Alternative Method Entries even being valid requires some BIG assumptions (your caps) and I think it'd be much safer to assume that NONE of the winning times are actually in that window. Or at the very least not more than 2 or 3.

      Delete
    2. Hey, according to the rules, the predetermined winning times are random.

      Though... they didn't say if the randomness was equally distributed...

      Delete
  2. The amiibo cereal also has gelatin which usually comes from pigs and therefore is discriminating against those who keep kosher or halal. I personally keep kosher and at the Nintendo NY event where you can get autographs by the Zelda manga authors I was in the same line with two Muslim women in burkas so there are religious Muslims who play video games too.

    Have you considered writing a letter to Post about the contest and being gluten-free? I am sure PR would try to make an inspiring story out of it, to pretend that they care.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't consider it, because I don't care.

      I eat General Mills. Ain't ever eaten Post in my life, actually.

      Delete
  3. I'll probably grab a box just to see the what the functionality is. I'm pretty sure the fruit snacks have been out for a while now, however.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kelloggs has the fruit snacks under "New Products", so...

      I've seen plumber fruit snacks in stores, but inspired by NSMB Wii, not Kart.

      Delete

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