KoopaTV Live Reacts: The Game Awards FIRST HALF

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Didn't we learn our lesson last year?

The Game Awards is the sequel to last year's VGX. (AKA the worst live reaction log in KoopaTV's history.) For whatever reason, we're watching its sequel despite vowing to not watch this shit ever again.

And you get to read us suffer.

I'm Nintendork 13 13, and RawkHawk2010 is himself. Enjoy us making Ferguson and Garner references while wondering why Nintendo is treated so badly.

Hideo Kojima's glasses.

Wireframe Little Mac plays guitar, so that's cool.

The live reaction log continues where this one ends.

Time Is Up! You Lose!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Timers in games are generally awful.

It seems like it's been a while since I've written a dedicated game design article, so I might be rusty. But we're going to have a discussion here about a big pet peeve of mine that ruins games.

Do you know what's wrong with this picture that does not involve the catsuits?

To answer the question in the caption, today's topic of discussion are those count-down timers. I'll be giving plenty of examples of (beloved by most) Nintendo properties that have this issue, and in that process I hope it'll be clear why these things are a problem.

By the way, that screenshot also has a score counter, which, while it is stupid, it is not "awful" and doesn't ruin games. But we can talk about that in another article if you want. Or if I want.

Taking Down Sarkeesian's Victim Culture Once And For All!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Countering the twisted usage of statistics by the feminists.

Everyone's favourite (...) feminist videogame culture and industry critic Anita Sarkeesian is... at it again! Well, actually, she takes a backseat this time and has her male minions do her bidding.

I actually do recommend watching this. And I do mean watching. My first observation (which will immediately destroy any credibility that people reading this may give me because of how shallow this is) is that Anita Sarkeesian pulls the most ridiculous-looking dudes she could find.

My favourite is the guy at 2:02. You can share your favourite in the comments section.

That mustache is actually worse than any mustache you'd find in the Mushroom Kingdom.

Feminist Frequency was kind enough to provide a full transcript of the video, which is very nice for replying to it. Thank you for the accessibility! (This is why KoopaTV usually provides transcripts for our own videos too when the words are important.)

One very important thing to address before the page break: Feminists love to cite the "half (50%) of all gamers are females" statistic as much as they like to cite the 78% gender-based wage gap statistic. It comes from an Entertainment Software Association (ESA) study. The ESA study includes gamers of all stripes — console gamers like us, but also PC gamers and mobile/smartphone gamers.

So when Anita Sarkeesian tries to manipulate the statistic by saying things like,

"This blindness allows many men, even well meaning men, to remain blissfully unaware of what roughly half of all gamers experience on a fairly regular basis."

You need to realise that she is engaging in the typical (that 78% figure is useless and bogus) liberal twisting of facts. She either does not have a basic understanding of statistics or she is trying to purposefully mislead you to achieve her agenda. Take your pick.

An Attempted Interview With Moneyhorse and North Korea

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The dudes supporting Kim Jong Un.

I don't want to create an impression that KoopaTV is a site that keeps trying to have interviews and keeps being denied them. I mean, we got a reply from the President of the United States. It shouldn't be that difficult to be able to talk to folks.

Regardless, we tried to interview Moneyhorse LLC like we promised, about their Glorious Leader! project. For those who do not remember, back in May 2014 these guys from a company called Moneyhorse announced they would make a Kim Jong Un-based videogame that is sort of a rip-off of Contra. It got a ton of attention for being a wild idea from a lot of the videogame press, but they all forgot about it a week later. After that, a lot of Chinese people apparently really liked the idea and clinged to it long enough to get it greenlit on Steam.

Bringing this out of article hell for a game in development hell?

Still, with the recent news that the North Koreans have hacked Sony (who seems to be getting hacked a lot recently), this seems like a good time to see how Glorious Leader! has progressed instead of keeping the "interview" in article hell.

...It hasn't progressed.

KoopaTV's November 2014 Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This name scheme might have a flaw in it.

What if... the month in the article title should actually be the present month, and not the month that we cover in the article? After all, people might read that it's for November 2014, and then think, "Well, shucks, I don't want that one! I want to read December's because it's December now!"

Woops. Well, we'll think of something.

In the meantime, hope you're ready, because 2014 is actually ending in a month. Yeah. That was pretty fast, wasn't it? Meanwhile, fellow KoopaTV staff member RawkHawk2010 is telling me on AIM that he is still "reflecting" on... 2013. THAT was a long time ago. (KoopaTV has been around for a long time, then!)

He better think of something good, or he is getting a Detective Gumshoe-esque salary cut. In the meantime, though, KoopaTV has had, yet again, our best month on record in terms of viewership. Not only because of the articles actually published this month, but people love our older content too. Hoorah. So here are the top five recommended articles (non-Reaction Log) for this (last) month! ...In chronological order.

1. Why All The Excitement Over A Remake?
2. eShop Preloading and Website Code Buying
3. Enjoy Smash On Wii U — While Ferguson GETS Smashed!
4. Amazon Delivered Smash For Wii U Early
5. KoopaTV's Exhaustive Thoughts On #GamerGate

As usual, every article on the site is worth reading.

We promise that this will be a photo finish end to the year. (Unlike last year. ...Nah, that's not fair, we had amazing content in December 2013.)

By the way, check out some of the important KoopaTV-category articles up recently (and longer). You can request an article, submit a guest post to wrote your own, go the next level and join our staff, or become an affiliate website. And of course, you're free to comment on any article on the site, new or old! We'll see it.

Hope you'll see us through to 2015!


KoopaTV thrives when you help share KoopaTV's message and gospel. Please share KoopaTV's articles to your friends and enemies whenever it is convenient to you.


For last month's article about October, click here.
For next month's article about December, click here.
For last year on November 2013, click here.
November 2015's article is really cool.

KoopaTV's Exhaustive Thoughts On #GamerGate

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - One article dedicated to #GamerGate. No more than that.

Though it may not look like it, KoopaTV has tried to follow the #GamerGate drama from our private AOL Instant Messenger Blast chat. That hasn't translated to KoopaTV articles. Until now. But only now, because there is a reason why we have not covered #GamerGate even though it should be up our alley. After all, KoopaTV cares about videogame journalism! And we definitely care about biases, social justice warriors, and basically everything #GamerGate encompasses. So... what is wrong with us?

To those who have no idea what #GamerGate, here is the Wikipedia article. (It has its own Wikipedia article!) Uh, BASICALLY it's a movement by people who call themselves gamers to put into question journalistic integrity within the videogame industry, because journalists don't have a sense of ethics. ...And for some reason there is a lot of talk about sexism and women involved. It's why we subtly inserted that line about journalistic integrity in our Affiliates and Recommended Sources page. It was timely! And according to #GamerGate advocates, this article is timely too because #GamerGate has staying power. You know, like the Tea Party. ...Except the comparisons end there. Unless you're against #GamerGate.

I challenged these clueless folk if they knew what the Tea Party was even about. No response.

Fortunately, I got a lot more comparisons to make. If we're taking the above picture's representation of #GamerGate as the truth (since, in terms of its representation of the Tea Party, it's a total falsehood) then the movement is closer to Occupy Wall Street. Like Nintendo Redirect was. Boy, that was a fun article.

But for this article, we have things against #GamerGate here at KoopaTV that makes us incompatible with 'em. And of course, we are also incompatible with #GamerGate's opponents. By no means is KoopaTV taking a wimpy centrist "we don't like either party" stance! I'll tell you why throughout this article.

What KoopaTV's Staff Is Thankful For In 2014 *Updated 11/29/2014*

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Thank you for accepting what we give.

Today is Thanksgiving. What does that mean? It means you probably will be spending a lot of time with your family today, doing great American traditions such as eating turkey and mashed potatoes.

Mash Potato Samurai, credit to ice-the-hedgehog on deviantART.

(And to you non-Americans, well, I'm sure you can appreciate being thankful. As Herman Cain said, this is like the one American holiday where we're not celebrating something war or death-related.)

It also means we don't expect you to have some heavy reading (just heavy eating) today, so we'll just take this moment to tell you what we're thankful for this year. I'll start.

KoopaTV Was Hiring!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Want to be part of our staff? Look for job openings below!

Do you want to join a hip organisation that is making waves across the Internet? Do you want to be part of a company culture where you set your own hours, can wear whatever you want, and basically have unrestricted speech? Do you want the opportunity to talk, play, and write about videogames or anything else all day? If you're okay with not being paid anything (but the résumé [we will even be your references/recommendations], learning, and fun potential are limitless), then KoopaTV was the place for you!

Unfortunately, KoopaTV is no longer hiring due to no longer producing new content. Everything below is for posterity.

Benefits also include being in the KoopaTV Nintendo Switch Online Family Group, which saves you money for the online subscription; as well as membership in our exclusive Discord group.

KoopaTV is proud to contribute to the communities that we serve. For more information, see KoopaTV's Corporate Social Responsibility Report.

Any positions that KoopaTV has open will be listed below, with all of their details. If you would like to apply for any of these, send an e-mail to jobs(at)koopatv(dot)org expressing your interest and why you would be right for the job (include a résumé and references if you got 'em). If you comment below, we'll see it, but it's best to talk about these things in privacy.

We'll have an e-mail-based interview and may ask you to submit some work.

All positions start right away and hires are decided upon an on-going basis.

We do not accept individuals with ties to the modern KKK, neo-Nazi groups, ISIS, the Taliban, or al Qaeda.

We do not accept those under the age of 18, unless there are extraordinary circumstances.

KoopaTV is significantly more likely to accept your application if we already know who you are and you regularly interact with the site.

Last updated: 7/4/2023

Taking the "Digital Graphics Producer" description's advice. (This caption won't make sense if the job is taken.)

KoopaTV Is Now On Ello!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The ad-free invite-only social network.

The world is burning down (or just Ferguson, Missouri, which I wrote about on Friday) but KoopaTV will continue to make progress and spread our message of telling the truth, giving you the facts, and leaving you with a smile at the end. (Or in total outrage. But then you want to keep coming back for more!)

To help do that, we have teamed up with Ello, which bills itself as "A simple, beautiful, & ad-free social network." For an objective explanation, consult Ello's Wikipedia article. We've been looking into other social networking sites since Facebook took us down. Tumblr is one of them, and though that's been up and continually updated for two months now, we have gotten nothing out of it.

I'm confident that our Ello social media account (click here to visit it!) will be as good or better than our Tumblr one! After all, we can't get any worse than that! Ello is pretty much the anti-Facebook, so if Facebook is evil, then Ello should be alright. As usual for KoopaTV's social media tactics, we write slightly different and catering messages for each of our social media platforms, so it's worth lookin' at everything for maximum value. (There are probably diminishing marginal returns though.)

Here is what it looks like.

I mentioned that Ello is invitation-only. This means that KoopaTV has Ello invitations we can give to you.

If you want one, then, you know, we can work that out if you comment your e-mail address.


The task for handling all of these social media platforms might be too daunting for Ludwig. This footer is foreshadowing something. For social media where Ludwig DOESN'T plug KoopaTV all the time, Follow him on Miiverse at NNID PrinceOfKoopas!


The Knowing When We Update article has been updated accordingly, and the link to KoopaTV's Ello will now be in the bottom left corner of KoopaTV.
Ludwig's foreshadowing is complete, and he wants to hire a Social Media Manager.
KoopaTV continues to expand alternative social media platforms, this time with GAB, which is the anti-Twitter.
KoopaTV has ended its Ello account since Ello deemed KoopaTV a spammer.

Amazon Delivered Smash For Wii U Early

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A whole week early. So I got impressions, too.

I spent my Sunday morning on my Wii U, going through Miiverse and talking to people on private messages and such. (Apparently, that's how I got to 1,000 hours so far.) All of a sudden, a package from Amazon is delivered at my door. "Well, that's strange." I thought. "What could it be?" As I wrote about on Friday, I wasn't expecting anything from Amazon for another week. I tempered my expectations and expected something like food or clothes or a wrong package.

Upon opening it... it was... the Super Smash Bros. For Wii U bundle featuring a GameCube controller and the adapter! (I thought, looking at the package, that the box was too small to fit all of that. I guess since Ridley isn't a playable character, it could fit.) According to eyewitness accounts, I could not help but smile very wide. Happy early birthday, Ludwig! So Amazon now deserves to be bolded like other videogame outlets.

Let me make something very clear: This was supposed to come November 28-December 1. It came November 23. We did not pay for shipping. Amazon did this out of the kindness of their heart, or because they want me to give them word-of-mouth support. And you know, I'm very happy to throw bad companies under the bus, but when companies do good things they should be rewarded with praise. And not just good things — surpassing expectations! ...By a lot! And by absolutely no means am I an Amazon shill, unlike some lovely people I know. They had no reason to do this. Hell, they can't really afford to do this if you look at their financial statements. But... I am going to conclude that unlike some companies and presidents, Amazon is in support of KoopaTV! So we highly recommend them for your own future game purchases.

With the amazingness of Amazon out of the way, since I have Super Smash Bros. For Wii U and played it for the rest of that Sunday, let me give some impressions.

First impression is that I look great.