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Monday, August 15, 2022

Ludwig's Delayed but Unspoiled Reaction to the Splatoon 3 Direct

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This is all pretty exciting!

Hey y'all, I'm back. And while I was on my previously announced vacation last week, Nintendo went and had a Splatoon 3 Direct that clocked in at over half an hour long! I knew there was a Direct while I was away, but I didn't watch it or interact with much of Internet society on my vacation—so I didn't know what was actually talked about. ...But I figured that if I wanted to re-integrate myself with Nintendo-based civilisation, I definitely needed to watch the Splatoon 3 Direct first. And so here it is, and you can follow along with my “live” reactions (from Sunday). Remember: Splatoon 3 is releasing this summer on September 9:



[3:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiuIZN0KDFQ
[3:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Okay, I'm... late on this, but I really gotta watch it to reintegrate myself with society.
[3:59 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: snap
[4:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I had a dream that there were three-way Splatfests announced for the first week of the game's launch, and it was, like, Giraffes vs. Hippopotamuses vs. Dogs or something.
[4:00 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And they had Addition vs. Multiplication vs. DIVISION as a sample Splatfest in the video and I wished that was a real Splatfest.
[4:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No offence to giraffe fans.
[4:01 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'm just now realising that's the cast of Lord Winklebottom Investigates.
[4:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: As for actual content in this game, they're showing 4v4 Turf War in Splatsville. I mean, that's not new.
[4:02 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Squid Surge" is a new technique to jump really high up walls, and the "Squid Roll" to dodge while swimming.
[4:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Several new stages in the Splatlands, and several returning stages from Greater Inkopolis.
[4:03 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Including Splatoon 1's Museum stage (that quite frankly I was never a big fan of).
[4:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Mahi-Mahi Resort was a cool stage though from the first game and it's returning.
[4:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So 12 stages will be at launch, and more stages will be in future updates, 'cause that's the established Splatoon thing now.
[4:04 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Bow-like Stringers making their destructuive debut" and "SPLATANAS"
[4:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: YOO INKLINGS CAN NOW BECOME GENERIC ANIME SWORDSMEN
[4:05 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: INKLING KAZUMA ASOGI
[4:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Ah, anyway, there is a "Tacticooler" special weapon featuring...stat-buffing drinks.
[4:06 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And an area-denying wave-creator, along with an exploding truck bomb.
[4:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sheldon of Ammo Knights is still in business.
[4:07 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Sheldon no longer takes currency, but "Sheldon Licenses".
[4:08 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...I think he's no longer going to stay in business if he's no longer accepting legal currency.
[4:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Gnarly Eddy and Nails the snail run the hat shop. Jel La Fleur runs Man-o'-Wardrobe the clothing shop.
[4:09 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And Mr. Coco runs the Crush Station shoe store.
[4:10 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: New ability "Intensify Action" dedicated to improving Squid Roll and Squid Surge efficacy.
[4:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They use the word "Fit" as shorthand for outfits within the game's UI, because the game's localisation wants to pretend they're Zoomers?
[4:11 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Splat Zones, Tower Control, Rain Maker, and Clam Blitz are all back as Ranked Modes.
[4:12 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Let's talk about the features "within the lobby", including the Test Range. New layout from before, AND you can practice in the Test Range while waiting for a match, as opposed to staring at the match waiting screen.
[4:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And there are Battle Replays in Splatoon now.
[4:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And you can share to the Internet.
[4:13 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: LOCKER ROOM?
[4:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You can customise your Locker Room and... open other players' lockers?

Splatoon 3 Hotlantis Harmony locker looking really fresh
Harmony looks pretty fresh herself.


[4:14 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I guess they don't understand the "lock" in "locker"?
[4:15 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Lockers can have decals, and you can also customise Splashtags. There are catalogues for every three months for the next two years. You can make your Inkling dab.
[4:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: TABLE TURF BATTLE???
[4:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ???????
[4:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Splatoon 3 HAS A TABLETOP RPG????
[4:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 150 cards to collect in-game.
[4:16 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Spin-off" of Turf War.
[4:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Tableturf Battle Dojo.
[4:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Am I going to play in that more than the actual game, like Final Fantasy IX's card game?

Splatoon 3 Tableturf Battle victory Baby Jelly
Seems like you can challenge random town NPCs in Tableturf Battle,
using cards that are abstract representations of weapons and characters to take over the board.
Seems VERY much like Tetra Master from Final Fantasy IX to me, and I really did spend a lot of time playing that with the NPCs.
(I bet that Tableturf Battle will be much more intuitive than Tetra Master, though. Which is a good thing.)


[4:17 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Which I never totally understood the mechanics of.)
[4:18 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Speaking of diversions that I actually do play more than the main mode, Salmon Run is getting attention here.
[4:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...With, uh, an "Extra Wave" that can appear after three waves at a random time.
[4:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You can a limited time to KO the King Salmonid mega boss.
[4:19 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: This is actually kinda bad for me because sometimes I play Salmon Run knowing how long the waves will last.
[4:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: 'cause I might have something to do, like flip over chicken nuggets in the oven, in-between matches.
[4:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: An-Anyway, talking about Story Mode.
[4:20 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: DJ Octavio is back, and it's an "epic finale of this Splatastic saga", so it'll obviously be a sequel to the first two story modes.
[4:21 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Mailbox is back, Recon Mode is back, Photo Mode is a thing... and SplatNet 3 will also exists on your smart device. boooo
[4:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You still won't be able to view your in-game stats in-game but only with the damn app.
[4:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...apparently.
[4:22 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I wonder if SplatNet 3 will co-exist with SplatNet 2.
[4:23 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Splatoon 3 amiibo inkcoming (male Inkling, female Inkling, and little buddy Salmonid).
[4:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Splatoon 3 is promising that new catalogue of clothes, new weapons, and "X Battle" and "League Battle" will be added in future updates.
[4:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And "Large-Scale Paid DLC" featuring Marina and Pearl (and maybe others).
[4:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "HOLD IT!"
[4:24 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uh...
[4:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Shiver and Frye? And Big Man?
[4:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Deep Cut" hosts the Anarchy Splatcast.

Splatoon 3 we are Deep Cut idols introduction Frye Shiver Big Man
So... these three are the idols?
I suppose they'd look very different if Team Order won.


[4:25 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: You can have your characters check in-game smartphones.
[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: To check the news "while doing other activities".
[4:26 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: So I guess you don't have to sit through the news every single time you open the game.
[4:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Now we get to see a dance/song scene that appears to be a Splatfest.
[4:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I swear if they do Splatfest at launch that means I need to buy the game at launch. >.>
[4:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Splatfests will make a return!"
[4:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "THERE WILL BE THREE TEAMS TO CHOOSE FROM"
[4:27 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uhhh alright I guess I dreamed that successfully.
[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Tricolor Turf War"

Splatoon 3 Tricolor Turf War Splatfest
I wonder how balanced this actually is.
I mean, it's 4 vs. 2 vs. 2, after all. Maybe the two two-player teams will betray their implied alliance.


[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: "Three teams fight at the same team"
[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Tricolor Turf War isn't exactly a fair fight.
[4:28 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Because of how the "leading team" is in the centre.
[4:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: We're watching an Anarchy Splatcast now. Breaking news.
[4:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Splatfest World Premiere on August 27.
[4:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: A pre-release Splatfest.
[4:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: The theme is...
[4:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS?
[4:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Shiver believes in Rock.
[4:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Frye is on Team Paper.
[4:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Big Man believes in Team Scissors.
[4:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Frye believes in Team Paper due to the power of the written word.
[4:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Which, I mean...
[4:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...That's a very appealing argument as a writer.
[4:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And NintendoVS is also hosting an Enter the Splatlands Invitational 2022 at PAX WEST on September 5.
[4:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Uhhhh so...
[4:33 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...if I was looking at this objectively...
[4:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...I'd say this is probably the amount of change between yearly releases in a Call of Duty game.
[4:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: (Or maybe between three Call of Duty games)
[4:34 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And I'd kind of criticise it.
[4:36 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: ...but I'm blatantly biased, so...
[4:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Anyway, I guess I gotta write about Rock vs. Paper vs. Scissors soon.
[4:39 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'VE MISSED DOING THIS.
[4:40 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Also according to the Splatoon website, "part of" Splatoon 2 save data can be transferred.
[4:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Which appears to mean I can skip some of the mandatory scaffolding at the start of the game that makes you play a certain amount to access certain game modes.
[4:41 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: But it also means that Splatoon 3 will think that I'm actually good at Player vs. Player gameplay and match me up against tougher people. :(
[4:42 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I just realised that KoopaTV Splatfest articles are going to end up approximately 50% longer now.
[4:44 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I think the in-game economy will have more to spend on so I'll be sitting at max currency with nothing to do with it later.
[4:48 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Annnd the Splatfest winning calculations have changed. Again. I  guess people will go back to talking about how it's rigged for one team or another.



KoopaTV will have to publish a Rock vs. Paper vs. Scissor article next week. But how are you feeling about Splatoon 3, based on the Direct, for non-Splatfest concepts? Is it too derivative of Splatoon 2? Is it a pain to have to wait for future updates? Or has the Direct gotten you super-hyped? Let KoopaTV know in the comments section!


The two protagonists of Lord Winklebottom Investigates are a giraffe and hippo, and the maid of the murder victim resembled a dog.
Ludwig mathematically demonstrated how the Splatoon 2's ending Splatfest scoring system was mathematically fair. Dunno yet if this new system will be.
There was a similar and equivalent Direct for Splatoon 2 that got the reaction log treatment five years ago.
Ludwig wrote about why he's siding with Team Paper here.
Ludwig bought the game and is enjoying it.
Lockers and Splashtags are actually really nice examples of player customisation and expression in Splatoon 3, which are improvements from the previous game.

2 comments :

  1. I had a feeling you would feel strongly about Team Paper.

    (You better chose Team Giraffes for that Dream Splatfest).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. (The dream didn't progress far enough for me to actually make a choice, but given the options, I'd pick Team Giraffe.)

      Delete

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