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Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Niggas Dominate: Part 1

By SAM - Thanks a lot white people…

Why do I say thank you? Well, let me show you a nice little quote from my nigga Chris Rock:
“Black people dominate sports in the United States. 90% of the final four. We own this shit. Basketball, baseball, football, golf, tennis, and as soon as they make a heated hockey rink we'll take that shit too.” 
Well guess what white folks, it's all thanks to your whipping of my ancestors. Yeah, that's right, you dumbasses pretty much bred us to be the best race athletically that there is today! Since you killed off all the weak niggas during slavery, we got to be some of the biggest, most athletically enhanced people on this Earth. Even back home in Africa, niggas who have never come to America at all are still dominating simply because of our fucking great genes.


Content warning from the editor: If it wasn't obvious already, this article isn't appropriate for young children or any sane person, for that matter. We published it anyway because we love our fans even if they write nonsense. If you enjoy this content for some reason, comment because the author of this at one point wanted to join KoopaTV. Anyway, try to enjoy the rest of the article!


Slavery sucked but look where it's gotten us now. In the NBA, the most niggardly sport in the world, 78% of all players in the league are niggas. The best players of all time have been black, from Wilt who scored fucking 100 points in a game to MJ to Shaq.

This nigga's got the goofiest smile.

Niggas also run fast, like my man Bolt, the greatest sprinter the world has ever seen. Even this nigga's name just screams FUCKIN' SPEED! Even a really white sport such as baseball has got niggas at the top of the charts in terms of the best players of all time. Think of guys like Billy Mays or Barry Bonds, great players who even I know even though I don't give a shit about baseball. There's also America's largest sport, football, which is dominated by guys like Richard Sherman, Cam Newton and RGIII as well as legends like Jerry Rice. In boxing there's one of my heroes and the greatest boxer of all time, Muhammad Ali. There are other legends as well, such as Joe Louis, Mike Tyson, and Joe Frazier. Niggas are tearing up boxing now too as we can see with Floyd Mayweather who busted up Manny P. in his recent fight with him.

One of my inspirations, the true GOAT.

In terms of greatest ATHLETES of all time, think of guys like Bo Jackson or Deion Sanders who have managed to play more than one professional sport at a time while being ridiculously good enough to be considered a legend in both, something that goes for both of the aforementioned athletes.

We also dominate sports we aren't even supposed to be good at or are a real minority in. Take, for example, my favorite sport, hockey. Though Rock implied that we don't really dominate now I'd beg to differ. Today we have niggas such as my favourite hockey player, PK Subban, who is widely known as one of the best defense-man today in the league and is only 26.


Realest nigga in the NHL.

Another great player nowadays who is also black is Wayne Simmonds and young gun Kyle Okposo. There's also old players such as legend Jarome Iginla, who is playing even to this day and continues to help his team even though he's 37 years old. Players who have actually retired such as legendary goalie Grant Fuhr have been inducted into the Hall of Fame because he's a real nigga. I also love him because he played for the Edmonton Oilers. Then there's Tiger Woods, who is a bitch nigga, but still pretty much the best golfer of all time so props for that.

My boy Paul is a monster.

There is also the largest sport in the world, soccer, or as I like to call it, real football. Hispanics rule this sport in general, but there are some crazy good niggas who play soccer too. There's my main nigga Paul Pogba, who at the crazy young age of 21 is already lighting the world up. There also real nigga Alexandre Lacazette who just won the Player of the Year award as well as the scoring title in France because he's such a beast. This guy's pretty young too at the age of 23. I could honestly go on and on… Yaya Toure, Dani Alves, Neymar, Marcelo as current greats and the best footy player of all time-PELE, as well as other legends such as Ronaldo, Viera, Ronaldinho, Thierry Henry, George Weah, Didier Drogba, Samuel Eto'o and countless others.

Yo, I don't wanna ramble, so this here'll be the end of this part of my series on why niggas DOMINATE. I'll see you in part 2 with why niggas dominate pop culture, catch you all later Koopa fam.


Sam is the realest nigga you will ever find. He's a Canadian black Muslim which makes him a double minority. Don't be scared though white people, Sam likes everyone, unlike Koopa.


This article apparently would fit into previous guest writer Black Ninja Koopa's dream of KoopaTV BLK.
The author of this guest post is in cahoots with the author of this one.

7 comments :

  1. As an aside, I don't endorse this shit.

    The author said don't actually expect a Part 2. :O

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is a fantastic article!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, maybe you'll get hired after all.

      Delete
    2. If someone (supposedly at Google) took down the Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!! strategy guide, will this be mysteriously taken down as well?

      ...Yeah there needs to be more videogame stuff going on so I don't have to publish stuff like this.

      Delete
    3. Yeah I'm not really tempted to back this up.

      Delete

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