Why How Much Consoles Sell Matters To YOU!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It makes a big difference in retail and availability.

I've heard lots of people over the years say they are too mature to think about the console wars. What does it matter to them that Nintendo's Wii U was a sales failure? That doesn't impact one's personal enjoyment of it!

I would ignore network effects at your own peril, people. Hitching a ride on a successful console car (as long as it's not a train) has a lot of benefits. I'll outline three of them in this article. The last one is the real reason this article was written. The first two are just for narrative build-up. ...Building away!

More People to Play With!

This is the most obvious application of network effects. In a world where most multiplayer games are locked to the console they are on (no cross-play), getting all your friends to be on the same console as you is pretty important. If they don't have that console, you don't get to play with them. Then you'll have to make another group of friends. For a lot of gamers, doing that is tough stuff. And you'll get estranged from your first group of friends.

Console popularity and consolidation saves relationships.

I mean, why do you think Wendy doesn't do anything on the site? She hasn't had a Nintendo console in, like, decades.

But what if you don't play games with friends? What if you play games by yourself?

A Look Back to the Poker Ladies of Mitchell Corp.

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...No, contrary to your belief, I haven't played every strip poker game out there.

Talking about the women of the 2009 WiiWare game Sexy Poker three years ago made for a great Women's History Month article. In 2018, let's talk about some even more obscure poker-playing ladies. I'm talking about the 1989 arcade game, Poker Ladies, from the now-defunct Mitchell Corp. (They were also responsible for developing Tokyo Crash Mobs for the 3DS, another female-centric game.)

In many respects that I will get to in this article, Poker Ladies is the predecessor to Sexy Poker. Interestingly, the user interface is better, at least according to this Let's Play that I won't embed because it's NSFW (not safe for work).  (I'm citing a Let's Play because, I haven't, you know, played it.) Still, I guess I can provide some pictures.

The Potential of Kirby's Dream Friends

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - They're dreams. (Maybe?) Of course they have tons of potential!

Today, the first (free) downloadable content, referred to as a patch by Nintendo, for Kirby Star Allies has released. 

In terms of content, it adds the Kirby's Dream Land 2 fellows Rick, Kine, and Coo all as one setting-adapted character. That's my way of saying that when you're on land, it's Rick. When you're in water, it's Kine. In the air, it's Coo. The patch also adds Kirby's Dream Land 3 loser Gooey, and Kirby Super Star's final boss, Marx.

From left to right: Kine, Rick, Coo, Marx, and Gooey.

Without spoiling anything, I'll just say that Kirby Star Allies integrates the new Dream Friends very well, as well as they do the already-existing-on-Day-1 Dream Friends, Bandana Dee, King Dedede, and Meta Knight. Full story integration, as well as post-game activities.

I have a little question as to what the point of having these new Dream Friends be released now. I mean, they were done before the game was released, right? So why not on Day 1? If it was an effort to keep people playing Kirby Star Allies after release, why only less than two weeks since the release of Kirby Star Allies? Why not at least a month? Well, they did hint that there could be more updates to come (“updates” “first free update”), which leads me to the rest of this article.

Microsoft Prohibiting Offensive Language on All Services

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Newsflash: So does almost everyone else (except KoopaTV).

I have seen multiple articles on several sites, along with people being upset on social media platforms, that Microsoft is updating their Microsoft Services Agreement's Code of Conduct to clarify that “offensive language” is a no-no, and they can terminate your Microsoft Account (including access to Xbox Live and your licensed-not-sold games) for being a jerk.

Here is the before (current) and after (as of May 1):

iv. Don’t publicly display or use the Services to share inappropriate Content or material (involving, for example, nudity, bestiality, pornography, graphic violence, or criminal activity).

iv. Don’t publicly display or use the Services to share inappropriate content or material (involving, for example, nudity, bestiality, pornography, offensive language, graphic violence, or criminal activity).

I suppose if that's how far you look, then yes, all they did was add “offensive language” to the Microsoft code of conduct and call it a day. As a reminder, that applies to everything Microsoft, from Skype to Minecraft to Xbox Live to even Microsoft Office. You also can't curse out Cortana.

It isn't new information that, according to Microsoft's stuff you gotta agree to, they can shut down your Xbox games if you do something they don't like on Skype. It's one reason I strongly dislike Skype, along with the fact that it's an awful instant messenger that lacks features. So from a privacy perspective, there isn't new information here.

But is it new information that they can take away your Xbox games if you're a jerk? ...Well, no. I have evidence, of course.

Announcement: Ace Attorney Anime Second Season!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - That's AAAASS.

It just wouldn't be WRIGHT... or right, to have only one season of the Ace Attorney anime. I have no idea how popular the anime actually is, but now Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations will get to be portrayed in an animated format in... Season Two! Starting in Fall 2018, in Japan!

Season One was Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney and Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice For All, and any reference to Season Two before now was... mistaken vocabulary.

The Justice For All part of the first anime batch is officially considered Part Two of Season One. That's a little different than being Season Two.

I'd love to give you some original imagery of Ace Attorney anime season two,
but this is all we got.

It isn't stated how many parts there will be of Season Two, but according to some Japanese translation (see embedded tweet below), series genius Shu Takumi will be putting together some original new story content for the anime. Since Trials & Tribulations is packed enough as it is (you telling me they're gonna fit that all in less than thirteen episodes to make room for new stories? ...Sounds cramped, and I don't want them to cut cases here), this hints to me Season Two will have more than one part.

From Anime Japan: the next season of the AA anime will also feature some new story developed with Shu Takumi. So more episodes like "Turnabout Promise", possibly. https://t.co/q0RYdTbPOa

— Court-Records (@CourtRecords_) March 24, 2018

By the way, I wouldn't dedicate a whole article to this if I didn't approve of the Ace Attorney anime. Any obnoxiously negative comments (as opposed to just regularly negative) from me about the anime came from trying to watch the anime with sub-titles or no translations. The anime being dubbed makes it much better. No word from Funimation on if they or anyone else are going to dub Season Two, but if they will, it won't be for some year(s) from now.

Either way, look forward to some possible Trials & Tribulations music remixes. Fortunately, that's appreciable cross-language!


KoopaTV recommends you watch the dub of the Ace Attorney anime, but only after you play the games they are based on, which would be the games in the convenient compilation package, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy. KoopaTV always publishes an article whenever they semi-regularly go on sale on the 3DS eShop (most recently at the start of March 2018, otherwise known as “this month”), and KoopaTV regularly gives away eShop card codes as part of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program so you can easily purchase it!


With part two of season one or whatever it's called now out, the world is awaiting for whenever this second season will be done.

What's the Deal With Detective Pikachu?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It comes across as a SAG-AFTRA plot.

At no point in the past, what, two years since it has existed and been talked about from Japan, did I care about or understand the appeal of Detective Pikachu. I still don't. But it seems to be the last non-port or remake game on the Nintendo 3DS.

Detective Pikachu is a point-and-click adventure game where you play as some twerp named Tim, and you're accompanied by a talking Pikachu. You need to solve some mystery together in a human-Pokémon world. ...Oh, and Pikachu talks.

Did you know that Pikachu is fully voice-acted? Yup.

The entire marketing for Detective Pikachu revolves around Pikachu talking, a novelty tested in the market with that Pokémon the Movie: I Choose You (which we watched and live-reacted to). 

Case in point: Check out this SpotPass notification sent out today to every opted-in Nintendo 3DS owner, which is similar to Nintendo's press release:

Nintendo at E3 2018: Super Smash Bros. Invitational & Splatoon 2 World Championship 2018

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Awesome! The first concrete things to look forward to for E3 2018.

We are past the point where a mere three months from now, E3 2018 will have come and gone. It's coming up quick, so it figures that gaming companies are now announcing their E3 2018 plans to get people HYPED!

(For us, it's also helping us put our E3 2018 Schedule together.)

So, check out this video Nintendo dropped today, with the accompanying press release:

To put it in writing, there will be a Super Smash Bros. Invitational 2018 tournament and a Splatoon 2 World Championship (2018) from June 11 to June 12. They didn't mention which happens on what day, so that might mean they both start on June 11 and then conclude on June 12? ...Or they're still figuring out logistics.

There are some interesting details to dissect here about both of these tournaments.

Minecraft Morons and School Bomb Threats

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This doesn't really make sense, but it's Minecraft, so...

I didn't even know that Minecraft had player-vs-player game types, and I don't even know how Minecraft servers generally work. Feel free to write off this entire article as the ramblings of a biased asshole.

Still, regardless of your feelings about my qualifications to write about anything Minecraft-related (or my qualifications to write about anything in general), we should all safely be able to agree that what happened in the United Kingdom (pray for Vortexica) with regards to the school bomb hoaxes as a result of a Minecraft server rivalry is... tragic.

Per Sky News, 24,000 spoofed (sent by someone disguising themselves as someone else) bomb threats were sent to 400 educational institutions in the UK. The spoofer claimed to be part of the Minecraft server VeltPvP. VeltPvP denies they were behind this. (Either way, this is probably huge advertisement for VeltPvP, which isn't just a server, but apparently a whole business with chief officers.) Specifically, they said to send money over to VeltPvP in exchange for not being blown up. (It's unclear what would have happened if anyone had actually sent money to VeltPvP.)

Whomever wrote this e-mail sucks at English, or they're pretending to be Arabic.
...Or maybe they really are Arabic and we can turn this story into one about Muslims in the UK.

Either way, we're pretty familiar with this kind of thing ourselves.

Remember When People Wanted Takamaru Playable in Super Smash Bros.?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You're forgiven if you are asking, “Who is Takamaru?”

When I was first drafting this article, I thought the dude's name was “Takamura.” Whatever his name is, he doesn't matter. Takamaru is a generic Japanese samurai guy from an old Famicom game that no one in the Western hemisphere played until 28 years later when The Mysterious Murasame Castle got brought to the Nintendo 3DS eShop in other countries.

It wasn't until Takamaru's Ninja Castle was its own minigame — a bottom-tier minigame at that — in Nintendo Land that people knew there was a dude named Takamaru out there. You wouldn't know he was a samurai though. You might've thought he was a ninja. Takamaru doesn't even appear in the game. You don't play as him. You play as a Mii ninja. Who the hell is Takamaru? No one knows, but that MYSTERY (in Murasame) got a whole bunch of people trying to say that Super Smash Bros. would be a lot better with him as a playable character.

There is some tiny, fledgling Takamaru for Smash movement. People who put him on a long wishlist filled with other characters. No one has explained his appeal to me. The game doesn't seem all that great — it's like The Legend of Zelda but much more action-oriented and not puzzle-y. It also has a timer, so it must be awful. I'm convinced only weeaboos want this guy in, but now they can obsess over the Hoshido in Fire Emblem Fates instead.

The Mysterious Murasame Castle failed to take off as a franchise.
It's not for a mysterious reason.
...Anyway, that's Takamaru crossing a bridge.

Takamaru ended up becoming a dreadfully boring Assist Trophy who jumped around like a freak, throwing ninja stars at people or something. Very generic and totally forgettable. I wouldn't be surprised if what was left of the Takamaru for Smash crowd actually forgot that he was in as an Assist Trophy.

Almost five years ago, one of KoopaTV's first articles was about how three characters that could be in Super Smash Bros. 4 would be terrible to have. Those characters were Takamaru, Geno, and Pac-Man.

None of those have stopped being terrible choices.


Ludwig isn't against fledgling movements just because they are fledgling (he voted for Phoenix Wright in the Smash Bros. Fighter Ballot, after all), but the characters need to be worthy. Takamaru isn't worthy in any possible way. Ludwig is considering having several character-related articles between now and the release of Super Smash Bros. For Switch, since it's an interesting set of topics to talk about.


Takamaru is once again still an Assist Trophy.

It's Sea of Thieves Eve And I Must Grieve

By RAWKHAWK2010 - Happiness stolen in a Sea of Hype.

Well, after three long years it's finally out. The true beginning of a post-Kinect Sports renaissance for Rare Ltd. -- and according to several who have played it, their all-time magnum opus.

Upon its announcement, I was pretty brain-meltingly excited for Sea of Thieves. I made a video syncing the Sea of Thieves announcement trailer to Athena's Swashbuckler Spectacular from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Dual Destinies, and another of Phil Spencer (widely considered to be the man responsible for Rare's rescue) eccentrically dancing. It was awesome, dudes. Sea of Thieves was gonna be Donkey Kong Country 2 but in almost-real-life. Sea of Thieves was gonna save my waning enthusiasm in video games while Nintendo stayed busy screwing over the Star Fox franchise (which involved first exhuming it from the grave) and making all kinds of other terrible decisions. Back then I was all like, "Bless Rare and Microsoft Studios", but skip three years into the future and the correct phrase is "Bless me", because I honestly couldn't have been more wrong.