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Friday, February 17, 2017

Pokémon GO Desperately Clings to Relevancy With Johto Pokémon

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - NOW I'm willing to write Pokémon GO stories...

Yesterday was Nintendo eShop day in North America, with the release of Tank Troopers, which Nintendo sent a push notification about to every Nintendo 3DS opted in. Tank Troopers was briefly mentioned in a Nintendo Direct last year. It's a multiplayer-focused game with local multiplayer only.

Clearly, nothing important came out yesterday... that is, only if you look on the Nintendo eShop. Over in MOBILE land, best-selling Pokémon GO released a long-awaited content update: Johto Pokémon!

You wouldn't know it if you went to the official website ran by The Pokémon Company International, though. Their latest news is still the game's release back in September:

Pokémon GO official site news section outdated
If you want to read those Pokémon GO Safety Tips with added KoopaTV commentary, click here.

Niantic still cares, though, even if their licensing partner apparently does not. They've even created this new video to promote the new Johto Pokémon and Johto accessories:

(It's just not very... exciting of a video.)

There are over EIGHTY new Pokémon! Johto added 100 new Pokémon, so there's obviously some missing. I dunno what they are and I don't care. That's not me being lazy and not doing my diligence: That should be representative of the greater message, which is:

The majority of people no longer care about Pokémon GO anymore. (Thank G-d.) Not even The Pokémon Company International.

No one is talking about it anymore, unless you're the globalists at the World Economic Forum, in which case you're using Pokémon GO in an insidious plot to “raise awareness” to get people to accept more refugees and take “climate action” of some kind. And that's only because Niantic approached them and made that happen. It's not like the globalist scumbags play Pokémon GO or even think about it.

I tangentially wrote in December that I believed that no Johto update will resuscitate Pokémon GO's collapsing user base, and that its users don't even know what Johto is.

Pokémon GO Johto update Cyndaquil meadow grass in front of building AR augmented reality
Pokémon GO/Niantic (for putting it in their video) don't even know what augmented reality is, putting a Cyndaquil in a meadow in front of a building.

The enduring popularity that Johto/Generation 2 that Pokémon Gold, Silver, and Crystal represent still boggles my mind, since they're riddled with issues. My theory is this: People don't like the Generation 2 games because of Johto, or because of any of the Pokémon introduced in it. (As fantastic as Miltank and, uh, Girafarig, are.) They like it because you can explore Kanto, and that wasn't even going to be a feature until Satoru Iwata was amazing at the last hour.

Not that there's much even in Kanto. It's small, the levels are still bad, and it's pretty much a gym badge rush. The plot of land/construction site in Vermilion City never even got developed. There's just nothing, and you can't even fly directly from Johto to Kanto. You need to stop by the Pokémon League first.

Still, that's why people love Generation 2. You can't honestly tell me there's anything interesting about Johto, or its Pokémon, can you? And Pokémon GO's Johto update, of course, doesn't feature Johto. Just a large fraction of its rather boring set of Pokémon. (Reminder that not all of the new Pokémon introduced in Pokémon Gold or Silver can even be found in Johto.)

Johto is an example where they added a large number of new Pokémon, mixed a bunch of the previous generation's Pokémon in there, and the new Pokémon weren't even good. It's the worst of quantity vs. quality Pokémon trade-off, and now it's coming to a mobile phone near you! 'cause they didn't learn over 15 years ago.

If you're actually going to play Pokémon GO after this update, let KoopaTV know what you think. Has the game actually improved fundamentally, or are there just more stuff to collect without it being any more fun? If you can't tell, Ludwig disrespects Johto a lot.


  1. I'm beginning to think you have a capital-t Thing against Pokemon in general.

    1. No, no, no!

      I love Pokémon! I'm on the Pokémon Online battle simulator all the time!

      I wouldn't write last week's article about quantity/quality in new Pokémon games of new Pokémon the way I did if I wasn't a fan.

      Pokémon Sun/Moon won Best 3DS Game of 2016 on KoopaTV.

      Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon is in my 3DS right now, and if it's not that, it's Pokémon Moon. (Poor Zero Escape.)

      I just like some games/generations a lot more than others.

    2. Fair. And I guess from a certain perspective it DOES make sense that you'd be against a smartphone app that encourages people to go out, get some fresh air, and exercise. ;) But judging from my own community, GO picked up quite a bit around here when Gen 2 released yesterday. And when they finally un-fuck up PvP, my prediction is that it will pick itself up again--and this time it'll stay standing.

      Don't get me wrong, I don't think it'll be any kind of mainstream. It definitely won't catch the lightning in a bottle that it had on release again. But there's a legit community forming for this game, and I don't think it's dissolving any time soon.

    3. ...Right, fresh air is terrible.

      I understand that not everyone on the planet has abandoned Pokémon GO... just... most people. It's no longer a culture-defining thing, at least. I give you there are still diehards out there who will appreciate the update 'cause they'd appreciate anything new for the game.

  2. I predicted this months ago. Even Super Mario Run is not as popular as many thought it would be.

  3. Pokémon GO? I've uninstalled that game months ago.
    I had a personal belief that the game was impacting my weekly commute to church. Unfortunately, fragments remain...

    In the form of Pokémon Moon! However, I've still been playing Smash Bros. on my 3DS for a wee amount of training.

    1. Uh... Why are you bringing your smartphone to church anyway?

      Personally within the past year I've played more of the Super Smash Bros. For 3DS demo than the actual game. Which is bad especially because the game mechanics aren't even similar due to many updates, but I have one digitally and the other physically and that's the result.

    2. I need to for communication purposes with my parents.

      So... which character do you primarily play as in the demo? Do you typically get Smashed as said character (bad pun), or are you pretty much adapted to him/her?

    3. Do you get lost in a sea of congregants and can't find mommy and daddy or wot?

      I play Random in the demo and get upset if it's the plumber. I typically win, because of course I'd win. I'm terrible with all of the demo characters though.


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