George Zimmerman Didn't Really Throw a Wine Bottle

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And he's not getting charged. George Zimmerman rides again!

Last month, we gave hugely concerning news: George Zimmerman got arrested within the first two weeks of 2015! He was supposed to be in court on February 17, and you better believe that we were going to cover it.

HOWEVER, it turns out there were other plans in store for this American hero. Namely, the prosecution is dropping all charges against George Zimmerman! The Orlando Sentinel reports,

"But this morning the State Attorney's Office reported that the woman, Zimmerman's roommate and dental hygienist, 28-year-old Brittany Brunelle, had recanted her story and refused to cooperate. As a consequence, it is dropping the case."

The Orlando Sentinel adds this very important bit:

"When they issued a subpoena, she did appear with her attorney and either told them or handed them a statement saying that Zimmerman had not thrown a bottle at her and that she never feared him, the statement said."

DID I CALL THAT OR WHAT? KoopaTV, January 12:

"The unidentified girlfriend told the police about it when she was undergoing a traffic stop. Perhaps she made up the story so she wouldn't get a traffic ticket?" (Emphasis added)

An OBJECTION! To NeoGAF's Racketeering

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The nerve of breaking the law using a law-based franchise!

Apparently, people walk around with the NeoGAF logo on their shirt. They buy such shirts from places like here with designs like this:

Look familiar? OBJECTION!

According to Spreadshirt's copyright section,

"These users agree when they create these designs that they have all necessary legal rights to do so. In order to be scalable, a majority of this process must be done automatically. This means that Spreadshirt cannot ensure that 100% of shop owners actually have these legal rights."

We wanted to let the real copyright holders over at Capcom know what was going on.

Splatoon Splattering On APEX 2015!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Hype weekend.

This weekend is APEX 2015, which as KoopaTV already covered, will be the biggest Super Smash Bros. Melee and Super Smash Bros. For Wii U tournament ever. And that Nintendo is sponsoring it. But did you know that Nintendo's sponsorship means other goodies besides money and marketing, like... Splatoon?

Splatoon at what is supposed to be a competitive fighting game tournament? I'll take it.

It's true that this is the E3 2014 demo, which Nintendo showed... a lot during E3 2014. Every day, though we only got our live reactions to it on KoopaTV the first time. It's clear that based on the last time we saw Splatoon, the game has a lot more content than just that E3 2014 demo. So while it's awesome we get to see Splatoon again, it's a bummer that all that awesome new stuff we saw won't be seen in a non-trailer setting.

...But wait, there's more?

The Beta of Early Access Betas

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Sending free hard drives out to folks!

Way back in April 2007, right when Valve's Steam was just becoming popular, Konami had this idea for Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann Chōzetsu Hakkutsu ONLINE, translated to Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann: Superior Excavation Online according to Wikipedia. They had a beta for users to join. It was some sort of online game based off of the popular anime, Gurren Lagann.

Something about this logo has to do with excavating.

From what I can tell, they limited the closed registration to the first 3,000 people with "Konami IDs" and there was something about digging and cards and characters.

I have no idea who this is or what they're saying. See why we need a Japanese Marketing Manager?

Unfortunately, they ended the Beta pretty quickly and never finished it because there was a critical error when you installed it for Windows users, which would probably be the only users. It basically ruined your computer forever and you had to re-install your operating system. Konami, as compensation, sent out 500GB external hard drives to everyone who participated. (If I got one of those, I'd be fine with digital distribution on Wii U!)

Refill Your Need For Speed With Micro-Transactions!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - With Need For Speed: No Limits. With a sub-title like that, this article writes itself.

Electronic Arts isn't really reaching new lows, they're just redefining what it means to be low.

KoopaTV's disdain and contempt for everything related to Electronic Arts isn't going to stop just because we finally got to the bottom of the "Madden Curse" movie scandal. It turns out that EA can be very despicable with their business model as well.

According to "Android Police", who is apparently the source for the story — you should be able to identify that as a site I've never been to before, so if this is a hoax then it's going to our bad sources list —  EA is going to be charging to fill up your gas tank for their mobile release, Need For Speed: No Limits. Believe it or not, EA has a mobile division they're trying to make into a big thing, so as someone who despises both EA and mobile, sure I'll take opportunities to bash both in the same article!

...Just in case you missed it in that paragraph of extraneous information: Your in-game gas tank for your in-game car is finite, and to replenish it you will either have to wait for your car to magically replenish itself, or you can pay REAL MONEY to go to the gas station in-game.

This comes at a time period where we've had falling gas prices at the pump in America for the past several months (no thanks to the Obama administration), so EA is presumably enacting this as a time where filling up your gas tank is a lot more fun than, say, a few years ago.

We last looked at this chart almost a year ago, in March 2014. And my, have things dropped since.

How much will pumping your virtual gas tank cost? $2? So it's a one-gallon tank? What a terrible fuel economy. As for the in-game economy, there are apparently multiple currencies that are standard with free-2-play models that I don't really want to discuss because we don't know enough specifics, and I suspect you don't care about them.

Japan Vs. ISIS: Humour Versus Terrorism!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Alternatively, peace versus Islam. And OUR contributions to the war at the end.

If you missed the casual reference of it by President Barack Hussein Obama on Tuesday, the Islamic State (otherwise known as ISIL or ISIS) has abducted two Japanese citizens, Kenji Goto and Haruna Yukawa for $200 million ransom. They had 72 hours to pay the ransom, and that passed as of today, with no money dished out. The hostages' fates are unknown as of publishing.

Apparently Yukawa got kidnapped a bit ago, while Goto went to rescue him. As you can tell, that rescue mission failed. People in Japan apparently don't really care about them and think they deserve it for going to Syria, with the exception of Goto's mother who is grieving over it. What the Japanese seem more concerned about is the fact that ISIS is now taking action against the Japanese. Apparently, they previously thought the "global war on terror" was really just a Western thing, and that ISIS's hatred for people only really manifested itself for Westerners.

Nope! Radical Islamists hate EVERYONE. Without exception. They even hate other Muslims. So that's why Japan has launched a war against ISIS!

It's just a war of another kind. A war of... humour? Introducing the hashtag, #ISISクソコラグランプリ! Put in English, it's basically a collection of crappy pictures mocking ISIS.

This guy is doing my analysis for me.

Sounds a bit less impressive than what Japan's neighbour did last time someone pissed them off, though. ...And that someone ended up being Japanese in the end, too.

When Kickstarters Get Kicked In The Ass (Part 2)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Raise your hand if you're NOT surprised. *raises*

Gotta put my hand down so I can write the rest of this article.

...'kay, all set. So, Moneyhorse LLC's Kickstarter for Glorious Leader!, which we wrote about right after it started, has been CANCELED! For those who aren't aware, this is a Contra-like 16-bit game featuring a playable Kim Jong Un, North Korean dictator.

This is the face of their Kickstarter page.

Yet, the entire history of us covering Glorious Leader! has been with a ton of doubt on whether or not the game would ever be done. The game idea got revived after its initial media glory, bolstered by the North Korea hacks on Sony.

So, why did they end the Kickstarter campaign, and what went wrong with it? Find out.

The Facts of Club Nintendo Closing

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - If you're gonna be sad, be sad for the right reasons.

As you have no doubt heard (well, maybe I have a little doubt), Nintendo's relatively long-running loyalty/rewards program, Club Nintendo, is ending July 1, 2015. Key facts:

• Newly (as in, as of yesterday) released games don't have Club Nintendo codes anymore.
• You have until March 31 to register all your codes. Accounts cannot be created after this date.
• You must redeem all your Club Nintendo coins by July 1, 2:59 AM EST. 
• All Club Nintendo codes must be redeemed by July 31, 2015.

We would like to remind you, if these dates sound familiar, that they are shared with the Digital Deluxe Promotion timeline. For that, you have until March 31 to receive your codes, and June 30 (otherwise known as July 1, 2:59 AM EST) to redeem the codes. This means there is a whole month between redeeming Club Nintendo codes and Digital Deluxe Promotion codes, apparently!

Important information greets you.

Also, the rewards page states, "Dozens of downloadable games and a limited quantity of exclusive reward items will be added to the rewards catalog in February." In other words, don't redeem all your coins just yet.

KoopaTV Live Reactions: SOTU 2015

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - State of the Union 2015. Plus Joni Ernst's Republican response.

As part of KoopaTV's continuing commitment to keep American politicians accountable, we have live-reacted to President Barack Hussein Obama's State of the Union 2015! Also, Senator Joni Ernst gave the Republican response.

I'm Nintendork 13 13, Rawk is himself, Kamek is Ultralink1, and Vortex is that msn e-mail.

Obama censorship.

Eric Holder giving a hug.

Defend Anita Sarkeesian: The Advertisement Video

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Share it around and play Defend Anita Sarkeesian!

Have a happy Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day! KoopaTV has something to share with you:

It's the Defend Anita Sarkeesian advertisement video! Feel inspired to play it? Play it on KoopaTV, here!

Also, it looks like we're finally gaining traction with being recognised by #GamerGate and Bendilin himself. Great! This new advertisement video should help with that.

According to #GamerGate, it's a sign of weakness to make a sequel that is much better than the original.

What's next for KoopaTV? Who knows. But in the meantime, Follow Ludwig on Miiverse at NNID PrinceOfKoopas. Why not? His YouTube channel is also PrinceOfKoopas.


Last year, KoopaTV actually posted stuff about racism for Martin Luther King Jr. day, relating to one of KoopaTV's other games, Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!!. 
Listen to the advertised credits music in its entirety here!