The Wonderful 1237 Strategy Guides: Donald Trump

 By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Golfing, anyone?

Welcome to the beginning of a long line of strategy guides for KoopaTV's amazing browser-based Flash game, The Wonderful 1237! The Wonderful 1237 features seventeen unique minigames, all from each of the seventeen Republican presidential candidates you will be competing with.

As explained in last week's Wonderful Wednesday article about those minigames, I'll be writing these strategy guides — one for each candidate, in a specific order. This one is about the guy who ultimately won the whole thing in real life: Donald Trump. As of the game, he's Candidate Donald Trump — one of many other candidates. However, as you can see below, he's among one of the more formidable candidates — though perhaps that will become more obvious as you compare him to others.

Candidate Stats

Base stats and growth:

Beauty: 0 + (0–4)

Cool: 1 + (0–4)

Cute: 1 + (0–3)

Smart: 0 + (0–4)

Tough: 4 + (1–5)

Average untouched stats after 14 rounds:

Beauty: 28

Cool: 29

Cute: 22

Smart: 28

Tough: 46

Average likelihood of surviving Iowa if untouched:

Extremely likely. (Donald Trump will have 17 delegates on average; need 11 to clear.)

VERSUS... DONAAAAAAAALLD TRUUUUUUUUMP!
Fight!

Minigame

Basic Information

Name:

Mini-Golf.

Objective:

Get the ball in the hole in as few strokes as possible.

Approximate Time to Play:

30 seconds to 90 seconds.

Controls:

Mouse (controlling golf club) to move and click.

Strategy

Detailed Description:

Control the golf club to hit a golf ball into the hole on the other side of the course from your flagpole starting position. The distance and direction of the ball depends on where on the screen you click the golf ball. If the ball comes into contact with the brown boundaries, it will bounce backwards to where it came from. The ball leaves a small trail wherever it goes.

Scoring:

Calculated from number of strokes. 10 or less is considered perfect. 5% is deducted from 100% for every swing after that.

Optimal Tactics:

You don't want to hit realistically or be concerned about walls. Place your cursor far away from the ball and click. The ball will bounce off the wall and then get a ton of distance, much more than if you just hit behind the ball. This is especially important for Variant 2.

You want to make sure you hit with enough power (but not too much),
and at the right angle so you DON'T hit anything along the way.

Variants:

There are two possible courses, each with a 50% chance of being selected.

Variant 1.

Variant 2.

Other Trivia

Skill(s) Tested:

Visual distance and angle perceptions, risk/reward.

Inspiration/Flavour:

Donald Trump is a major fan of golf, both before running for president (he's opened many golf courses around the world) and after (he's taken several trips — on taxpayer dime — to his own golf courses). President Donald J. Trump believes that one of the best ways to know someone is through playing golf with them, which is why he's taken foreign leaders such as Shinzō Abe out golfing at his Mar-a-Lago resort. This makes a golf minigame perfect to represent him in The Wonderful 1237!

Play The Minigame Here!

Stay tuned for future strategy guides for the other sixteen candidates! If there is any more information you'd like to know, Ludwig would be happy to share it. Be sure to play the entire game!


Next week's strategy guide is on Donald Trump's biggest primary foe: Ted Cruz!