Punch-Out!! Wii with Doc Louis Commercial Transcript & Analysis

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Yeah, I'm coming back!

Hey, did you know that we're starting Punch-Out!! Week again? Check the announcement out. First, we'll go through Doc Louis's commercial, since he gives—or tries to give—an introduction to how Punch-Out!! works. Doc Louis in this commercial is played by Isiah Whitlock Jr., notable for roles such as Clay Davis of The Wire and saying “sheeeeit”. He may or may not also be the narrator voice in all of the following commercials. Sure sounds like it. 

Punch-Out!! Wii Doc Louis Commercial Transcript

[Doc Louis] Aight, I'm Doc Louis and this is Punch-Out!! [standing next to a King Hippo-shaped punching bag at Doc's Gym]
Boxing on the Wii! [bites chocolate bar]
In this video, I'm going to teach you everything you need to know to become a champion fighter.
Now let's get training. [bites chocolate bar, and then scene transitions to inside the boxing ring with a monitor and a Wii, with the Punch-Out!! Wii title screen on the monitor]
[Doc Louis] Did I ever tell you? I was a three-time heavyweight champion back in the day?
Yeah! In my heyday I was feared by... [cut off by Off-Screen Producer]
[Off-Screen Producer] DOC! Quit your rambling!
[Doc Louis] I'm telling them about my glory days!
[Off-Screen Producer] Just tell them about the game!
[Doc Louis] Hey look, don't let me have to come down there.
[Doc Louis, standing up and now holding a Wii Remote (with Wrist Strap attached) and Nunchuk in front of the TV monitor in the boxing ring] All right here we go, Glass Joe.
Hehehe, this is gonna be easy. Now, the first thing I'm going to teach you is the stick-and-move combo.
Now, you want to keep the center of gravity low... and punch!
Right, left, right, left. [Doc is thrusting his respective arms forward, holding the respective controller]
Now, if you want to throw a punch up high, you just push up, [close-up of Doc Louis pushing up on the Wii Nunchuk's control stick]
and then you just throw that punch!
I'm gonna break this Glass Joe!
Ooh, now I got a star! Hold the A button... and swing! [Little Mac, in the game footage, jabbed Glass Joe with his left fist as Glass Joe was winding up for his punch. The camera zooms in to Doc's right thumb on the Wii Remote A button.]
Star Punch! Yeah ol’ Doc Louis still got some good punches in him!
Now you gotta watch those counter punches!
Push up to block... left and right to dodge! [Doc Louis is controlling Little Mac to dodge one of Glass Joe's punches, but fails to dodge several more.]
...Ooh! Hey, come on! That hurt! Ooh! ...Ah! Hey, come on! [Little Mac is actually knocked down by Glass Joe]
Does it make you feel tough to beat an old man?
You shake the Wii Remote up and down when you want to get up! [Doc Louis is waggling the Wii Remote and Nunchuk to revive Little Mac, who is face down on the mat]
Come on, Little Mac!
I'm going to tear him up!
Right left! Jab! [Little Mac knocks down Glass Joe with two seconds left in Round 1; this is the first knock down against Glass Joe while Mac has already suffered one]
Yeah, I'm coming back! [The Punch-Out!! Wii logo appears on the screen overlaid atop Doc Louis making a punching pose, with the text “with Doc Louis” underneath]

Punch-Out!! Wii Doc Louis Commercial Analysis

First of all, no one really thinks that Punch-Out!! is a complicated enough of a game for a fifth of their live-action commercial effort to be dedicated to explaining the controls. It's basically the same amount of buttons and actions as Punch-Out!! was on the Nintendo Entertainment System. But they chose to make a commercial with Doc Louis because he is a major character, and if he is Little Mac's trainer and coach, then it makes sense for his role to also train the audience. It also establishes his role as a fan of chocolate bars quite early on. I just hope that the chocolate bar didn't melt in his hands before he touched the Wii Remote and Nunchuk—the results can be disgusting.

That fist is a bit too close to the camera lens...
I can't tell if there is chocolate residue on his hands. ...For a variety of reasons.

Doc Louis loves to talk about the glory days and that he's an old man—but we don't actually know how old Doc is. Glass Joe is 38; Isiah Whitlock Jr. at the time of filming the commercial would be 54, so if he was casted to be a similar age as Doc Louis, then he is, comparatively, the “old man” versus Glass Joe. He's a whole higher generation, at least. That would make Doc's complaints valid (to the extent that no one actually forced Doc to participate).

On another age-related note, Doc Louis also has some kind of personal history with the boxer Bald Bull (since Bald Bull repeatedly mentions Doc Louis in his quotes in Punch-Out!! for the NES as well as on the Wii, which other boxers do not do), who is younger than Glass Joe—Bald Bull is only 36. Who knows with this guy? But then also consider that Little Mac is only 17, so him fighting the 36-year old Bald Bull would be a parallel to Bald Bull fighting a Doc Louis who is also 18 years older than him. Perhaps Bald Bull feared Doc Louis. We'll never know, thanks to that meddling producer.

What about fighting techniques other than the stick-and-move combo?

The only fighting technique that the commercial Doc Louis imparts is the stick-and-move combo, as well as dodging left and right or pressing up on the control stick to block. Stick-and-move means you're moving with one of your feet and punching at the same time with the same side as your foot, while your other foot is planted down, but ready to move or dodge around (bob and weave). You move forward and punch and then you move back and mind your range. Stick doesn't refer to your body; it refers to your punch, as if your arm and fist are a sword keeping your opponent at bay while you move around. Actual stick-and-move is a lot like, say, Marth's playstyle in Super Smash Bros. Melee or Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Dashdance around, jump, forward-air (swiping his Falchion sword in front of him) in front, and then waveland backwards. He's always moving and keeping close-up brawlers away with his longer hitbox poking.

The commercial itself is on-point with Doc Louis canonically offering terrible advice,
since his entire advice to Little Mac in Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! is telling Mac to stick-and-move,
which Mac cannot actually do in the game.

To clarify, Little Mac cannot freely move in any Punch-Out!! game, which makes stick-and-move an unplayable style. Little Mac in actuality is a counterpuncher. He relies on his opponents overextending and making a mistake, and then taking advantage of their aggression while they're tired, stunned, or leaving themselves open. This is visually obvious in videos like this, or in the multiplayer Head-to-Head mode, where Little Mac is very oddly stationary compared to the more theatrical movements from his foes:

When Doc Louis had Little Mac get a Star, he actually had Little Mac interrupt a right hook that Glass Joe was trying to throw out with Mac's left jab, but he doesn't explain to the viewer anything about how important counterpunching is; Doc is more occupied about dodging Glass Joe's punches and then returning back to centre and having Mac punch when his opponent is recovering from his whiff. Or Doc is more concerned about just throwing out punches to “break this Glass Joe” without much regard for Joe's defenses. You won't be able to beat Contender Mode in Punch-Out!! without understanding more than just dodge and punch—Aran Ryan's fight ensures this lesson, where you must interrupt his punches by punching first. Hopefully, Disco Kid's fight also makes the player very curious about Star Punches, since his fight is designed to give a lot of Stars out, but Glass Joe also has several opportunities!

Since Doc won't teach people, I will. “Counterpunch” refers to two different things—one is dodge an attack and then punch them after they've extended. The second—and this is generally how to collect Stars on Punch-Out!!—is to punch the opponent in a weak spot as they are winding up their punch and before they even throw it out. High level speedrun play of Punch-Out!! is all about the second definition and then using those Star Punches at the opponent's special weak point for an instant knockdown or knock out. Regardless, neither of these are about stick-and-move, which is all Doc Louis was talking about, and he definitely did not get into how to become a champion fighter.

What about the Wii Remote on its side and the Wii Balance Board?

There are four control methods for Punch-Out!! on the Wii—Doc Louis only mentioned one, despite claiming that he will teach us “everything” that we need to know to become a champion fighter. Well, only one of them is actually viable to completing the game, but Doc Louis didn't mention that one. I'll represent the four methods in this 2x2 matrix:

This may be the very last 2x2 matrix Ludwig will publish on KoopaTV. These really are a good tool, you know.

Wii Remote on its side, no Wii Balance Board

This is how everyone who has finished the game plays Punch-Out!!. Everything is at its most responsive here. You press a button and something happens, nothing more, and certainly nothing less. This is the only choice for people who want to fight enemy boxers, as opposed to fighting their own controllers.

Wii Remote and Nunchuk, no Wii Balance Board

Wii Remote and Nunchuk is how Doc Louis is teaching you how to play in the commercial above. You dodge or duck with the Nunchuk stick and you must punch with motion controls, one controller per hand, and hold the Nunchuk up to jab (or block), and throw your fists with no button held down to throw hooks. Unique to the Wii Remote and Nunchuk: Left-handed Star Punches! Hold down the A button and punch for Little Mac to Star Punch with his right hand, but hold down the Nunchuk's C button and punch for Little Mac to Star Punch with his left hand. Does this have any gameplay implications? ...I don't think so? Perhaps this was the concession made for left-handed gamers, since the control scheme is otherwise rather unfriendly to in-real-life southpaws.

Wii Remote on its side, Wii Balance Board enabled

Want to turn Punch-Out!! Wii into a much worse version of the Gluting Gallery minigame from Ring Fit Adventure? Play with the Wii Balance Board on! With the Wii Balance Board, your D-Pad no longer works to duck or dodge attacks; you can only do those actions by motioning on your Wii Balance Board. With the Wii Remote on its side, you still can do your punches like normal (button controls), as well as block.

The Wii Balance Board is not well-calibrated. By comparison, the Joy-Cons in the Leg Strap and the Ring-Con are better 10 years later in Ring Fit Adventure, but even then, you may recall that my first impressions of the Gluting Gallery minigame were really poor because of poor controlling. You might play this mode in Punch-Out!! if you want to enforce something of a no-dodging challenge run, because dodging is both slow (because shifting your in-real-life weight is much slower than pressing a button) and unreliable. You may even dodge more often than you're trying to do because Little Mac might dodge twice in a direction or in the opposite direction as you're trying to shift your pressure around and then back.

You might also play with this to have access to the Wii Balance Board tutorial music, which is probably one of the least-listened to songs in the game. How many people even know this exists? It's all techno-y and portrays the Wii Balance Board as a super futuristic piece of hardware, when in reality it's, you know... a glorified bathroom scale.

Wii Remote and Nunchuk, Wii Balance Board enabled

Want as many gimmicks as possible? Want to have the slowest, least reliable way to dodge incoming attacks and dish out your own? Want to feel physically exhausted even after simple fights? Want to spend the most amount of money on extra peripherals? Try the Wii Remote and Nunchuk with the Wii Balance Board!

Doc Louis had some good reasons not to promote this control method, but then why did Next Level Games even include this as an option if it's so poorly executed? Was it corporate meddling from Nintendo, like that producer meddled in Doc's rant in the commercial? Did Next Level Games have to include a certain quota of Wii features after Nintendo saw how Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn was criticised by mainstream reviewers for not having Miis, waggling, or pointers and for being much like a legacy title? (Because Punch-Out!! Wii has Miis, waggling, pointers, and the Wii Balance Board... all to its detriment.) Maybe that's why, even if he wasn't standing on the Wii Balance Board in his commercial, Doc Louis did show the waggling and motion controls. And that it's boxing on the Wii. You can't say it's too similar to an NES game then, right?! Because this is a new generation, we're not rambling about the glory days!


The rest of the commercial analyses for this week will be much more focused on the contents of their commercials and not so much on what should or could have been included. You may be able to tell that Ludwig missed the feeling of tangential ranting, similar to how Doc Louis wanted to go on rants about his glory days in the commercial. Both Ludwig and Doc Louis are past their primes, so it's actually quite fitting how Ludwig approached this article! But what did you think? Let him know in the comments section.


Here is the next commercial, focusing on Little Mac, but also with plenty of Doc Louis.