Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 25: Learn to recognise a joke!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I once more begin going through Adventure Mode, while Ring has to go through humour training.

Ah hah! I wrote last week (Week 24) that I'd be back on Friday with Week 25, and here we are. Welcome to KoopaTV Fitness Fridays! It's been a bit of a while, so let's recap. I've already beaten the main Adventure Mode... back in April 2020. That unlocked Extra Fitness mode, a pseudo-New Game+/harder difficulty. This repeats the same 23 worlds as Adventure Mode, but it's streamlined and with different dialogue, because you and the antagonists are all friends now. (I'm hoping the different dialogue will make everything worth playing again.) The enemies have all gotten buffed to accommodate that you're carrying over your level, unlocked Fitness Skills, your inventory, and everything else.

Sunday (January 24, 2021) is apparently the 100th day of me playing Ring Fit Adventure's Adventure Mode (the 99th day, again, being in April 2020), which got me the “Consumed by Fitness” Title. Tipp is concerned that I haven't played in a while, so he recommended to lower my difficulty level. I agreed, so now it's gone from 30→28, which means I'll have less repetitions to do on the Fitness Skills. It's time for World 25: Extra Fitness Lv. 182, which is based on World 2: The Land of Night, featured back in Fitness Log Week 1. My own level is 216.

The first level is still Nightcloak Pass, with its swampy terrain you need to knee lift to wade through. The Hoplin generic enemies are one-round-KO pushovers. (Blue) Kennelbell is a scrub, too, though it can only be two-round-KO'd with my strongest Legs Fit Skill (Thigh Press Lv. 3). Still, it can only do a fraction of 1/4 of a heart of damage in retaliation, so nothing in this early game is a threat.

The treasure chest above Nightcloak Pass contained yet another Citrine stone, used for crafting/buying items. The next level is Dashalong Tower, and the first (and only) Hoplin fight there gave a Citrine as a droppable item, so... I'm sure we'll need a bunch of these for the upcoming shops. As a reminder, I only have 33% of the fashion catalogue filled out, meaning there is 2/3 of that still locked, to be more complete in this playthrough.

While the overworld maps and treasure placements in Extra Fitness are identical to previous worlds,
the contents of the treasure are different. This one had a Citrine, an ingredient that did not appear in normal Adventure Mode.

There's my first Game Gym of the Extra Fitness playthrough: Robo-Wrecker (Novice). Getting an A rank or higher will net me the Royal Green Smoothie recipe, which isn't what the original reward was. The original minimum reward rank was also B rank or higher. Still trivial to achieve. I got the recipe, and the Royal Green Smoothie is brand new. 2 Chard + 2 Basil + 2 Ashitaba = 12 hearts of recovery, and your Fit Skills get recharged, AND negative status effects are cancelled. That's an all-around beneficial clerical drink, and it's a very marginal improvement over the endgame-quality Green Basil Smoothie. ...And it's also way more recovery than what I'll need in this world, and probably most (or all) subsequent worlds.

I'm noticing that there's only two levels left in World 25: Extra Fitness Lv. 182, so... I guess I gotta space this out to be a week's worth of content? How will I do that? Keep reading to find out...

NEVER AGAIN: Mario's Koopa Genocide in Super Mario Bros. 35's "1st World Count Challenge"

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Don't let there be a second one. Or a thirty-fifth one.

The past ten days have been really difficult for us, due to mob activity. No, I'm not talking about the millions of GameStop stock trades. I'm talking about the millions (though we don't know the true count) of murderous, destructive Marios (him and his clones) that appeared as a direct result of Nintendo inciting them to violence:

The first #SuperMarioBros35 World Count Challenge starts soon—running from Jan 18 11pm PT to Jan 25 10:59pm PT!

Team up with players worldwide to defeat 3.5 million Bowsers! If achieved, all participating players defeating at least 1 Bowser get 350 My Nintendo Platinum Points! pic.twitter.com/6dO7yiSSUF

— Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) January 18, 2021

The result of this incitement of insurrection? (And for a worthless currency, in-line with what LEGO Mario has already poisoned the minds of many children with.) A mob unlawfully breached King Koopa's castles, and engaged in violent, deadly, destructive, and seditious acts. These include attempts at regicide, as well as massive genocide:

Here are the results for the 1st World Count Challenge in #SuperMarioBros35!

A total of 5,363,696 Bowsers were defeated!

Congratulations, everyone! All participants who defeated at least one Bowser will receive 350 My Nintendo Platinum Points gifted to their accounts! pic.twitter.com/K6AzrxJqvw

— Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) January 28, 2021

Yes, Nintendo announced a death toll of 5,363,696 Bowsers at the gloves/boots/fire of the Mario mob. In the span of one week.

Why I Don't Drink Alcoholic Beverages

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - You don't have to live like me, but here's why I live like me.

I often receive a lot of unhappy, negative-toned comments when I tell people that I choose not to drink alcoholic beverages. It's not a hit at parties. Society is ingrained, like the fermented grains used to produce alcohol, into believing something is wrong with you if you're not a drinker. Big Alcohol has been all too happy to turn the word “drink” into having a meaning exclusive to consuming an alcoholic beverage. (“Hey, do you drink?”) Governments putting arbitrary restrictions on when one is allowed to drink alcohol has turned it into an exciting rite of passage... and a lifelong habit thereafter. Prohibition was an enormous mistake, but this is a worldwide issue, and has been a problem happening long before the modern era. (Annoyingly enough, voting, which is also gatekept by age, is something you have to drag people out to do.)

Personally, my main reasons for not wanting to drink alcoholic beverages is that I like to maintain control over my own body, it's not healthy to do so, and I think they taste very inferior to non-alcoholic beverages. I'll address those reasons (in reverse order) in this article:

Console Wars Roundtable: Reggie Fils-Aime, Robbie Bach, and Jack Tretton (Live Reactions!)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I talk through former gaming console executives talking about the videogame industry for an hour.

Today there was a semi-rare opportunity for former gaming executives from Nintendo of America, Microsoft, and Sony Computer Entertainment America to sit in the same event and talk about the videogame industry for an hour. It was sponsored by the mainstream gaming journalists at The New York Game Awards—so KoopaTV wasn't invited—and streamed by Twitch Gaming. Still, even though we weren't invited to the event, I still watched the stream and provided my reactions below. In case there'd be anything interesting.

The theme is supposed to be about the “console wars”, a fun topic that KoopaTV was supposed to be built on. Back in the day, Nintendo, Microsoft, and Sony totally went at one another's throats, always trying to pwn one another at E3 events and the like. Nowadays, the companies are seen as much softer and more friendly in their competition. The executives present talk about this.

Specifically, there was Reggie Fils-Aime, the former president and Chief Operating Officer of Nintendo of America, around from the early-mid 2000s with the GameCube to after the Nintendo Switch, leaving in 2019; Robbie Bach, who was part of Microsoft back way before the Xbox was a thing, eventually leaving 2010; and Jack Tretton, who was part of Sony's original PlayStation team back in the mid-1990s, and he was President of Sony Computer Entertainment from 2006 to 2013. Also, it was moderated by some streamer named Okaydrian.

[6:29 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.twitch.tv/twitchgaming
[6:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Reggie's talking at "The New York Game Awards", along with Robbie Bach and Jack Tretton.
[6:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Apparently representing Nintendo, PlayStation, and Xbox.
[6:30 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: And not to be confused with "The Game Awards".
[6:31 PM] Ludwig Von Koopa: If I don't care about The Game Awards, I won't care about a New York one. But maybe the roundtable thing will be of interest.

President Donald Trump's Fourth Year Reflection

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - If I wrote “Last Year Reflection”, there'd be a non-zero chance that'd age poorly!

If you thought KoopaTV's Game of THAT Year 2020 Awards closed out the year of 2020... you'd be right. Technically, January 2020 to January 2021 isn't a time period that's exclusive to just 2020! Yes, KoopaTV is reflecting on our fourth year coverage of the Donald John Trump presidency. He wasn't re-elected, so this is the last of this multi-year series... unless he runs in 2023 and wins election in 2024. I... don't recommend that he goes and does that, however.

KoopaTV is doing this list because we're a reason that President Donald John Trump got into power to begin with. We won't be doing this sort of recap list next year for President Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. because we didn't endorse him. That means we don't feel like we have to be accountable for whatever actions he does in office, since we never said a good word for him! But with the 45th President, we want to be responsible and accountable.

In KoopaTV's first year of coverage, we wrote 19 articles where the main topic was about President Donald John Trump, with 9 articles with positive coverage, 1 article of neutral coverage, and 9 articles containing negative coverage. However, KoopaTV's second year of coverage was not only reduced with only 9 articles in that year, but only 2 of those were positive, 2 were neutral, and 5 were negative. Likewise, in the third year of coverage, we also wrote 9 articles, but 3 were positive, 1 was neutral, and 5 were negative.

In this article, I'm concluding what we've done in previous years with a tabulated list of KoopaTV's coverage about former President Donald John Trump from January 2020 to January 2021. I've judged whether that coverage was positive, neutral, or negative. For an easy summary, there's a table at the end.

Articles that mention President Donald John Trump in passing, but aren't about him, are excluded from this. Same goes for articles that are dedicated to trashing his political opponents, since those are not a reflection on him!

For fun, try guessing what the ratio will be before getting to the end.

All dates in this article are in mm/dd/yyyy format.

Ring Fit Adventure Fitness Log Week 24: Featuring the Fitness Boxing 2 Demo

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm back to get fit!

A not-so-secret: I haven't been staying fit. In terms of weight, I'm a bit over where I was in November 2019. Body mass index-wide, it's still “normal weight”, but if I'm doing nothing, that could change, and that's not what I want. I made the stupid, public decision in April 2020 to stop playing Ring Fit Adventure until 2021 because the 2020 Olympic Games got delayed to 2021, and the Olympics being in 2020 was why I was playing Ring Fit Adventure to begin with. (In case you're wondering, Team Koopa is competing in the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games. ...I'm also assuming it's not getting cancelled in 2021.)

I was supposed to course-correct in the second half of 2020 (at the recommendation of my chiropractor, no less), but anyone who has been on my Nintendo Switch friend list knows that I haven't actually been playing Ring Fit Adventure since I wrote that. It turns out that I'm not good at self-improvement, and documenting things on KoopaTV helps me actually do things. Also, since I wrote that article in the second half of 2020, my back has been relatively decent (not needing big chiropractic adjustments), but my shoulders and neck are the tension areas.

Before I get into what I did this week, note that there will be no Ring Fit Adventure story/adventure mode content this week. We last left off completing the final world of the game, World 23: Finalia, and then going through World 24: Extra Fitness Lv. 181. It's a good idea for, uh, search engines to have the week # in the article title to be the same # as the world featured in the article itself, so... You'll get other content for the fitness log comeback.

This Custom Fitness List was generated with shoulder-helping exercises.
(Ring Fit Adventure doesn't break out exercises that help the neck.)
Bow Pull x28; Fan Pose x28; Back Press x20; Overhead Squat x20; Standing Forward Fold x16; Robo-Wrecker (Novice); Aerochute (Novice).

Super Nintendo World Osaka Opening Delayed Until Coronavirus Shoos

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This surprises no one.

Once upon a time, KoopaTV wrote a headline (and an article to go with it that maybe you should read), “Super Nintendo World Set to Open February 4, 2021”. A few weeks later, Nintendo's lead on the theme park, Shigeru Miyamoto, toured the area and trespassed on Lord Bowser's property. Everyone throughout the process was wondering how opening a theme park in the middle of (well, it's probably middle-end of) a global pandemic is a good idea, and the answer has been that Japan hasn't had it as bad as the rest of the world.

Back in April or so, Japan got headlines like, “What Japan Can Teach the World About the Pandemic” and “What Lies Behind Japan's Successful Management Of The Pandemic”. Nowadays, the headlines are “Why Japan, Once a COVID-19 Success Story, Faces the Prospect of a Dark, Deadly Winter” and “Japan hospitals slammed after underestimating third COVID wave”. The Japanese have gone from competent to complacent, and now they're all getting pwned by the Chinese Communist Party Virus.

As a result, Universal Studios Japan has announced that Super Nintendo World's opening has been postponed until sometime after the Osaka prefecture state of emergency has been lifted. (The ANNOUNCEMENT of when it'll be opened will be made after the state of emergency is lifted, as opposed to the opening happening right after.) Nintendo hasn't added much of anything to the discussion, though they did edit into that Shigeru Miyamoto tour video description,

Joe Biden: Inauguration Day

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A new chapter in history indeed.

I should've published this hours ago, but it's just so boring and blah that I really have to push myself to get it out. But I ate some fiber in-between the live inauguration and... tonight, so here we are. Uh... this is a live reaction log with just myself, by the way.

Get used to hearing “President Joseph Robinette Biden Jr.” from now on. He follows the KoopaTV tradition of President Barack Hussein Obama and President Donald John Trump for getting the full name treatment.

[11:23 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-qYgs_yOXA
[11:23 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Amy Klobuchar is talking for some reason.
[11:23 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: I'll pay attention when someone with "president" in their imminent-future job title talks.
[11:32 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're doing some sorta prayer thing.
[11:36 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: They're doing a Color Guard thing, the Pledge of Allegiance, and the National Anthem.
Reminder that the United States has a bottom-tier National Anthem.
[11:37 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: Anthems are one of the few things the Soviet Union pwned America on, and if the new Administration really is going to bring communism to America as right-wing commentators proclaim, then hopefully they get a better anthem too.

Welcome to the Fódlan Senate, Raphael Warnock the Warlock

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'll take you through Raphael's epic journey.

There once was a boy named Raphael Warnock, born in the Commoner class, who cared deeply for his commoner family. He was far from privileged, and had to work hard for his opportunities.

Young Raphael Warnock was disappointed in only getting HP and Magic on his first level-up.
...But little did he know that learning Magic would set him up very well for the future.

Through resolve and grit (and a little luck), Raphael Warnock had the opportunity to attend a prestigious school with a religious tradition. Leaning into skills he didn't know he had (and thought he had a bane in), Raphael Warnock actually excelled and graduated.

Raphael Warnock graduated as a Warlock!

Raphael Warnock the Warlock wanted to aspire to something more, more than himself, so he dedicated his life to helping other people. He was going to be an activist for the lower classes that he himself was rising out from, preaching for justice with compassion.

This led Raphael Warnock the Warlock to fight for social justice against the forces of oppression. He started off with a bottom-up approach, protesting in the ebony street trenches for justice and liberation against the selfish government, keeping himself alive with the brute force of his signature Warlock Punch, the Pneuma Gale.

It's Math: There Was No Steal of the Clout-Based Splatfest Super Star Vote

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - There's no steal to stop.

We got some highly unfortunate results from last weekend's Super Mushroom versus Super Star Splatfest in Splatoon 2, in which I told you to support Team Super Star:

Landslide results. Look how successful KoopaTV was in persuading you: 68.20% of participants voted for Team Super Star!
(Unfortunately, they didn't actually win.)

While my own personal results were mostly fantastic (10 wins and 4 losses—and one of those losses was inevitable—versus Team Super Mushroom in Splatfest Battle Normal... and a 13 win/8 loss record against other Team Super Stars), the 53.41%–46.59% and 54.12%–45.88% clout split represents the widest margin since the clout-based system was implemented. That article I just hyperlinked explains the clout system fairly well, and it also states that it's pretty much fair.

However, many of my Team Super Star colleagues are out on social media and promoting conspiracy theories that the Splatfest was rigged and stolen. And while I wouldn't put it past the forces of the Mushroom Kingdom to do underhanded, illegitimate tactics (for example, Team Super Mushroom members could make fake Octolings to join Team Super Star and lose on purpose), the actual reasons I've seen for why the Splatfest was unfair is due to the number of mirror matches that Team Super Star had to deal with. (Here are a few examples.) In other words, since KoopaTV was too successful in convincing the population that you should prefer having Super Stars over Super Mushrooms, most of a Team Super Star member's Splatfest experience was facing other Super Stars, as you can see in my 14-game non-mirror match to 21-game mirror match experience in the paragraph above.

This article will explain why population-size/mirror match-related reasons aren't valid complaints as it relates to clout results.