Paper Mario: Color Splash Trailer -- The Morton Unfolds

By RAWKHAWK2010 - YAYUHAHA YAYUH

Two days ago, KoopaTV published an article regarding Paper Mario: Color Splash and the newly-revealed "Black Bowser." That's right, Black Bowser. An otherwise-innocent Bowser coated in mysterious black paint, mysterious enough to make Hologram Peach point out that "he seems different somehow."

Not just "looks", "SEEMS". (...And that Green Toad is way too jubilant in this situation.)

This raises questions about other members of the Koopa family who seem a little "off." Take Morton Koopa Jr. and his peculiarities that we live-reacted to. It was assumed three months ago that Morton had simply been brain-stomped one time too many, but recent Color Splash developments in the past few days -- specifically involving said BLACK paint -- suggest there may be way stranger influences at play here.

What's Huey got in that bucket...? (There's something going on.)

In fact, I think it's time to bleed this preamble like a stuck pig and let Morton speak for himself.

Rawk is going hard in the paint with the audiovisual content. If the above performance changed your view on Morton Koopa Jr. or anything else, let KoopaTV know in the comments below!


If that performance didn't change your view on Morton Koopa Jr. then how about this speech of his?

A Controversial Opinion on Controversial Opinions on YouTube

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - No more controversy on YouTube?

I don't know this from experience, but I've heard there are some issues YouTube creators are having with the service. Specifically, YouTube has these new ADVERTISER-FRIENDLY CONTENT GUIDELINES that allegedly try to sanitise controversy and make things politically correct. Fortunately, this seems to affect people on a bi-partisan manner, with victims ranging from banned sources such as The Young Turks to people against social justice warriors. (Perhaps they'll go after anti-feminist Karen Straughan, who I will now consider some sort of bad person for never advertising or acknowledging her interview with KoopaTV, which subsequently resulted in no one reading it.)

The guidelines themselves are reportedly not new. What is new is that YouTube is being more transparent in what is and what ain't acceptable content if you want money on your videos. In other words, the official story is that the same policies are in place as before, except YouTube is being more up-front as to why. Their communication is improving. 

Apparently, people are frustrated with transparency. They must therefore love (President Barack Hussein) Obamacare! That was a law that was purposefully created to obfuscate and have a lack of transparency for a huge political advantage. That is, according to Obamacare architect Jonathan Gruber.

Black Paint Bowser, Rescue Yellow, and Paper Mario: Color Splash's Hope

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - King Dad finally shows his brilliant, all-black self in Paper Mario: Color Splash. The Great Black Hope!

There is so much material to cover here, so before I get into talking about Black Bowser, we need to clear some other things up. 

First, Nintendo finally released Episode 4 of the Rescue V series. We already covered most of what's interesting for that when I wrote about the Nintendo Minute covering the Yellow Coliseum. That had a splattering of content, too.

The most important part is that Rescue Yellow would also vote NOT GUILTY in the George Zimmerman trial.

And, because a certain someone in the KoopaTV comments was wondering about this, it's also confirmed that the Yellow Coliseum has multiple NPCs the plumber can talk to that are NOT Toads or Huey. These range from the bone-obsessed Battle Royal clerk to other fighters or fighter-wannabes. These dudes all seem to have good dialogue and as much personality as you can get from one-line people.

Now with that out of the way...

KING BOWSER FEATURING BLACK PAINT! He features in the “The Adventure Unfolds” trailer, narrated similarly to the trailer from E3 2016:

Pokémon Generations Animated Series: Starting This Week!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Beautiful! BEAUTIFUL. Can't wait.

It turns out there is Pokémon-related news out there besides new Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon drip-feeding. ...Oh, and besides that mobile trash I won't even name, the one that is rapidly losing its player base. Presumably because a majority of them got killed off by now for not taking Herman Cain's advice.

So, yeah, check out what The Pokémon Company International is now up to. It's called Pokémon Generations. It's not a new game or anything, but a new web series that will have 18 episodes covering the best moments from Kanto to Kalos. The first episode is this Friday, September 16, and the last one is Friday, December 23. (Oh! Christmas is a Sunday this year!)

These will be 3–5 minutes each, which should result in about an hour of animated content, overall. That's a much larger game-promoting effort than the likes, of, say, Shigeru Miyamoto's Star Fox Zero — The Battle Begins.

Shigeru Miyamoto Eats a Hamburger To Prove His Point

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - No one doubted him on his point, but I do doubt its importance.

Remember Super Mario Run from the middle of last week? New Super Mario Bros.-inspired automatic runner exclusively for Apple mobile trash? Trumpeted up by Shigeru Miyamoto as something you can play on one hand while eating a hamburger?

Here's what Nintendo tweeted out today. There's an embedded video central to this article:

Watch as Mr. Miyamoto reveals his favorite ways to play #SuperMarioRun on the go! pic.twitter.com/MboONwsdsw

— Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) September 12, 2016

So... no new footage of Super Mario Run, though I doubt you wanted to see any. I mean, isn't it, uh, pretty predictable what you'll see? I couldn't predict that I'd be able to screen-cap this, though:

Kamek and Iggy Koopa in Paper Mario: Color Splash

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Maybe I should ask Iggy to write for us sometime. He seems like the kind of Koopa to do that.

When I wrote this clause yesterday, “Instead of releasing the video that will be the focus of tomorrow's article (...if it's released),” I really thought Nintendo would today release Paper Mario: Color Splash's Rescue V: Episode 4 as part of its series that we've been covering. It'd give us a view of the Yellow Coliseum and the Rescue Yellow Toad squad.

Well, instead, they put out this episode of another web-series they have on their YouTube channel, the Nintendo Minute. This also covers the Yellow Coliseum, though from the perspective of that disgusting red-hatted plumber, not the (presumably virtuous) real protagonist, the yellow-hated Toads. Might as well talk about it.

But first, you gotta see it:

(Remember, Nintendo Minute is never a minute!)
 
So, we have two important Koopas making introductions here, and Rescue Yellow. KoopaTV staff member Kamek, and one of my brothers, Prince Iggy Koopa!

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice Now Released!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - In America AND Europe!

Let's keep this short and sweet, because I'd rather play games right now than write articles about 'em. Please understand.

We've been waiting a little over a year since the formal announcement of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice (then-known only as “Ace Attorney 6”). Eventually, the game got an official release date of September 8. ...And here we are. The game is out for $30 on the Nintendo 3DS, exclusively for the eShop. Purchase it before September 14 to get the three DLC costumes you see in the Japanese picture here for free, as opposed to $1. That would be The Tiger for Phoenix Wright (Furio Tigre's outfit from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations), School Days for Apollo Justice (his school uniform from that flashback he had in Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Dual Destinies), and Trés Bien for Athena Cykes (feminist-triggering french maid waitress outfit from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations).

Oh, I got a picture of them right here, actually, from my own copy.
 

Super Mario Running To Apple

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Super Mario Run was custom-made to troll my sensibilities.

I know I should feel disgusted and sick from hearing about this, but honestly, I feel pretty numb. This is the sort of thing I've come to expect. 

Here, just watch this garbage and I'll just spend the rest of the article moaning about it like you expect me to. I'm giving the people what they want when Nintendo doesn't give me what I want (or anyone... right? No one WANTS this, right?!):

Let's... try to explain that. Basically, Nintendo (Shigeru Miyamoto) was at the big Apple event and announced this thing, Super Mario Run, coming to Apple devices this December. No word on anything regarding Google, and those Fire Emblem and Animal Crossing mobile things are delayed, not that we knew anything about them.

The big marketing push is that it's Super Mario Bros. action (actually, there's no “bros.” involved. I'm speculating that Luigi is smart enough to avoid this crap) that you can play with... ONE HAND! As Shigeru Miyamoto explains, 

Alolan Raticate, Type: Null, and MORE Debut in Pokémon Sun and Moon!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Plus, a legitimate-looking foundation.

It hasn't been a long time since the latest Pokémon Sun and Pokémon Moon news, though they did have to share space in a Nintendo Direct. Now, The Pokémon Company International has all of the space in the world to make a good impression. Fortunately for your attention span, they take less than three minutes of it.

Initiate official trailer!

Nintendo also provided a written summary here.

I want to talk about Type: Null first. Type: Null is a new Normal type Pokémon. It has very unique name. Type: Null. That's the name. The site's description explains: “This Pokémon wearing a mask has been dubbed “Null,” meaning nothing.” That doesn't quite explain where the Type-colon part comes from.

The Type: Null project was supposed to be prevented with the defeat of Team Science!

Type: Null is said to have INTENSE power, with it being made of different parts to increase its adaptability. (However, it doesn't have the Adaptability ability.) It is apparently on a secret mission to rival the power of Mythological Pokémon.

I personally think that Type: Null strongly resembles this:

KoopaTV Endorses Donald J. Trump for President of the United States of America

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Well, you saw this coming. But we'll tell you exactly why.

Are we the first videogame site to endorse Donald J. Trump for the general election? ...Will we be the only one? Well, we'll try to start a trend.

If you know anything about KoopaTV, you'll know we aren't afraid to get political here. It's a site feature, really. And, countless times over, it's ended up relating back to gaming anyway, so it's not totally off-topic.

Whether you want to avoid it or not, the results of this election will have a large impact on the gaming industry and the way you play. The presidency of the United States can affect that stuff in such a large way, mostly (see in the “Why You Shouldn't Vote For The Others” section for a directly bad example) indirectly. But those factors are important. As Bernie Sanders kept trying to do in his KoopaTV guest post, things like the economy and whether or not you're sent to a war you shouldn't be in affect how you play games.

Note: Put your cursor over the following headings to find out the url to directly link to that heading.

Now that we have that out of the way, why Donald J. Trump for president?