Disregard the IRS, Keep Your Currency

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Taxation is theft.

April 15 is the worst day of the year. It doesn't have to be — and I don't just mean moving the day. That actually is the case this year — taxes are due April 18 in 2016.

There could fundamentally be a change in how people look at paying taxes. Instead of dreading for months or weeks before the due date about all the paperwork you have to fill out just so your money can be forcefully taken away from you with guns by an unaccountable agency that assumes guilt before innocence, we can abolish the Internal Revenue Service.

We don't need an income tax. We don't need a payroll tax. The federal government in the United States can be funded by a national consumption tax as a replacement. It's the FairTax plan. You could say that's still theft, but at least it's not intrusive and you don't need to retain any records.

Until then, what can YOU do to avoid taxes? ...Ask an accountant. Not me. I just know that if you work, and you pay less in taxes, you'll have more money to do things like purchase videogames. Or feed your family. (Though, depending on the game, you may be convinced that you shouldn't be eating.)

SpongeBob Splatfest To Spoil Splatoon

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Now say that title a few times, fast.

You know, I really like writing about Splatoon's Splatfests. They're usually interesting, or so dumb that we can make them interesting. They can make you think and answer deep philosophical questions that you usually wouldn't find discussed on a gaming website, but it's totally okay to talk about it as Gaming Commentary.

...But I really am disappointed with this crap idea...no, crap this-is-actually-being-done-the-weekend-after-this-one:

Nintendo UK can't even get the capitalisation right on SpongeBob. ...And neither did I on my first attempt.

That's right: Nintendo of America and Europe will be sharing a Splatfest: SpongeBob vs. Patrick from the SpongeBob SquarePants cartoon. Meanwhile, Japan also has a Splatfest that weekend. Maybe I can talk about that without feeling shameful...

The Newly Renovated Nintendo.com Game Shop

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Nintendo.com is now connected to your eShop balance. But there's a functionality loss.

A long time ago, in 2014, Nintendo allowed it so you could purchase games off of www.nintendo.com. This purchasing had a few flaws, namely that you could only pay with a credit card. While you had to log in with your Nintendo Network ID, it wasn't connected to your eShop balance, and card codes weren't accepted. It was a disjointed experience, though I won't complain about when I got gifted download codes from it. (Hang tight 'til the end of the article for a very important comment about that last part of the sentence.)

BUT NOW? IT'S ALL CHANGED. Makes sense, too. You want to make buying digital games as easy as possible with the new My Nintendo rewards program. You get GOLD COINS for buying digital games, which can be used to get more digital games.

Into physical purchases instead? Too bad. You get nothing. That's how it's different than Club Nintendo.

Want to buy Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (and you should)?
Well, Buy digital has a special big orange button. Buy physical? Only non-styled losers do that.

It's a lamentable situation, but that's just how the industry has been trending.

More importantly, that means something important for you, the KoopaTV reader: 

The Music of the Game & Watch Octopus

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I think it's undeservedly underappreciated and underused.

Less than two months ago, I declared the virtues of what happens when videogame composers make really awesome leitmotifs. They can repeat and remix the same song game after game, and the audience will love and crave this relative non-originality.

But what about the videogame music that I consider to be the greatest bubblegum pop music from a videogame of all time? Of all time?

I'm talking about the Octopus theme from Game & Watch Gallery. It was in that game, and then in Game & Watch Gallery 4 sounding a bit different. That's it.

But... we've seen the Game & Watch Octopus all over the place. What's this indignity? Let's explore, and treat you to amazing, amazing music.

How Team Koopa Escaped Rio — Part 1

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And how we staved off the Zika virus. Well, not that part yet.

Hey guys! I'm back! KoopaTV will be returning to our regularly scheduled programmes. Believe me, I missed writing about some of the crap going on surrounding the videogame industry. I also missed sleeping in my own bed, and being in a civilised society.

As everyone hopefully knows, Team Koopa (minus Dry Bones and Dry Bowser) was trapped in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, for the past week or so. We were there before we were considered trapped, but that was with the understanding that we could leave after our Olympics training. Obviously there's more than just Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games.

I'm sure you're all itching to know (though, I bet it's less itching than we did as Zika victims) what happened since you last heard from me. So, I'm going to let you know what happened, in detail, starting right after I published the article on April 1, 2016 saying we'd be stuck in Rio for a bit.

This is only Part 1, because, hey, this is rather lengthy:

Team Koopa Contracted ZIKA Virus at Rio?!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Um, this is a serious problem, actually.

You know I've been in Brazil for weeks, right? Rio de Janeiro. Team Koopa has been the absolute best team in practicising for the Summer 2016 Olympics. Team Sonic and Team Mario (ew) have nothing on our all-star line-up.

So, time to go to KoopaTV's headquarters in Sierra Leone.

...Or, that's what I tried to do. But the people at Rio de Janeiro International Airport didn't let me, or any other members of Team Koopa. Well, except for the Dry dudes. But that leaves myself, Wendy, King Dad, Bowser Jr., Larry, and Roy behind.

APPARENTLY, we all have the Zika virus and they don't want us leaving Brazil for a bit. The virus is passed by sexual transmission (I didn't have any, and I strongly doubt any of Team Koopa's other members did while in Rio. This is despite the Centers for Disease Control's warning that “[t]he celebratory atmosphere at the Olympics may encourage travelers to engage in risky sex”) or through mosquito bites. Apparently, if a mosquito bites an infected person, it becomes infected and it'll spread Zika to the next dude it bites.

I think it's full of crap. Why?

KoopaTV's March 2016 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Just a quick update on the site.

Did you like KoopaTV this March? If you don't, that'd suck. Anyway, as usual, we had great content this month. So great, that I decided to publish this newsletter talking about how great we were a day before you'd expect it.

It was so great, I could not wait.

You were great too. Take a look at the final standings of the one-month-long Round 7 of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program: 

1. ShinyGirafarig — 57 points
2. Samantha Lienhard — 32 points
3. Nandin Lopez — 29 points 

ShinyGirafarig is our GRAND (and only) PRIZE WINNER! You get a $10 Nintendo eShop code! Just... not right away. ...I'm still in Brazil, and those aren't widely available here. Please understand.

Okay, back to how great we are. Let's check out my top five most recommended articles from March 2016, in chronological order:

1. Interactive User Interfaces... Helping You LEARN!
2. Paper Mario: The Series' First Trailers
3. Nintendo NY's Grand Reopening
4. Smash Ain't No Joke — But Little Mac Became One
5. The Media's Misreporting of the Wii U's Production Into Next Year

The great thing about KoopaTV is that every article is worth reading. I could've given a totally different set of five articles, and you wouldn't give me a weirder look than usual.

Stay tuned to KoopaTV. Whatever happens tomorrow will surely be awesome, right? Every day is awesome on KoopaTV! (Except Saturdays and Sundays.)

...Ugh, that optimism is making me sick.


While Ludwig is only pretending to be an optimist, if you actually are one, you should share KoopaTV's awesomeness to everyone you know! Spread the greatness.


The optimism wasn't making Ludwig sick, but something else...
Ludwig finally got to escape Brazil and get the eShop code for ShinyGirafarig.
Last month's newsletter is accessible here. It was published on the first of March.
Eventually, Ludwig got better and the rest of April happened. Here is its review newsletter.
For last year's March newsletter, click here. 
For next year's March newsletter, click here.

All CAPTURE THE CONFEDERATE FLAG Voice Acting, Sound Effects, PLUS...!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...Plus the final boss music. I promised it.

It has been a great three months on the trail, promoting KoopaTV's latest videogame, Capture the Confederate Flag. It's received many accolades from people, including KoopaTV's Best PC Game 2015 and Best New Character 2015. I heard it's fun, too.

I think enough time has passed that it's safe to dump spoiler-laden content onto you.

If you're comfortable with that, then keep going with the article. (I put the click here for more break BEFORE video embeds if you're viewing this article without being directly linked to it!)

If you're not, play the game by clicking on the first hyperlink in this article.

There is nearly NINE MINUTES of content here. That's much higher than any of our other games!

SPLATFESTS! Wins, Popularity, and Region Differences

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The rights of the minority. (Featuring: Excel PivotCharts and graphs!)

There is widespread frustration among the North American Splatoon community over Splatfest. KoopaTV readers read my detailed, reasoned rationale for my team picks for each North American Splatfest (in 2015, that was rated to be the best article series on the site — and it's still continuing into 2016). However, not everyone chooses their team decisions based on principle, or based on which team they genuinely like the most. There is a growing group of players that try to “meta-game” Splatfest: Choose the team that is most likely to win. How do they decide which team will most likely win?

In North America, there appears to be a pattern where the winning team has low popularity, and a high win rate. Meaning, choose the less popular team. More astute players believe that most of Splatoon's player base in North America are children, and children are more likely to pick a certain team. Therefore, pick the other team, for children are less skilled.

Central to this is the calculation for which team wins: Currently, it is Score =  Popularity% + (Win% * 6). The Win multiplayer was originally 2, then it moved to 4. For most of Splatfest history, it has been the current 6. This basically makes the winner of Splatfest to be the team that wins the most, since Popularity is basically rendered useless. Popularity is little more than a very interesting reported statistic — and I'm glad it's reported. The more statistics we know, the better!

Of course, I'm a stats nerd.

The increasingly important role for Wins stemmed from the massive anger Team Cats had against Team Dogs in the very first Splatfest, where Team Cats had 51% wins but only 38% Popularity. The Team Cats team said that 2% difference (51–49) would be very significant and that, given the number of matches, Cats must've done better than Dogs by thousands of matches. We all expected most Splatfests would be determined by Popularity since we thought the wins would be 50% each.

It turns out that if Team Cats actually won, it would be one of the most under-performing win rates of any winning team in any region. That makes Team Dogs in the bottom five for win rate. Look at this:

Gaming on a Budget on the eShop

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A mix of knowing the sales, and of good ol' conservatism. And finance knowledge.

I was given a really interesting request by Nandin Lopez. In effect, it's asking how to conserve your budget for the Nintendo eShop, what to get, and how to resist ruining your allotted money spend. 

He gave an example of saving money in his eShop account for the upcoming, very soon release of a localised MOTHER 3. But suddenly, you can buy Pokémon Blue on the eShop! What do you do? Spend the money you want to save for MOTHER 3? Or keep the money in your account just so you can be ready for MOTHER 3?

If you were me, you wouldn't have this problem because you would have a bank account and would use your debit card to refill your Nintendo eShop balance whenever you want or need to. I only buy Nintendo eShop card codes just to give away as KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program prizes — your last opportunity to WIN a $10 Nintendo eShop code ends in two days as of publishing, by the way.

There is a concept within finance (boring, I know) called the “time value of money”. Basically, it's the idea that a dollar is worth more in the present than in the future. There's a lot of reasons for this, such as the general inflationary trend of dollars (you will have less purchasing power as time goes on) and that the earlier you invest your money, the more times it can compound with interest (if you deposit $100 for 20 years and it grows at 2% interest every year, you get more money than if you waited 5 years, then deposited that $100 for 15 years to grow at 2% interest annually).

You're screwing yourself $14 by doing nothing for 5 years. Loser.
You too can play around — with the Future Value Calculator!

The purchasing power part may not potentially apply here, depending on your relationship to your eShop account. Why?