The State of the Videogame Industry if Hillary Clinton Had Her Way

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Warning: It's a dystopian future. Don't let it become a reality.

I'm sure that Hillary Rodham Clinton would love to be the next president of the United States of America, and in her dreams she would want a position much stronger than the president. One-woman ruler of the country. And if you're so foolish enough to allow that to happen, then you will be rewarding extremist anti-videogame, anti-creativity, and anti-freedom behaviour on her part. If videogame company executives or any self-professed gamers vote for her, then they either have short memories or they're not “real” gamers. This is a litmus test for your gaming credibility.

Hillary Clinton notoriously CREATED the Family Entertainment Protection Act while she was a United States Senator from New York at the end of 2005 as a response to the (inaccessible in-game) Rockstar Hot Coffee mod discovered in the code of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. What this means is that she wanted (and likely still does) the government's hands in the regulation of the videogame industry for the purposes of “protecting children.” I briefly mentioned Hillary Clinton and the Family Entertainment Protection Act in a great article a year ago, but this was a super-important moment in our industry's history — so it deserves more than just a cameo/tangent in another article.

There were five parts to this act (which didn't get out of committee — so there wasn't a vote on it) that I'll briefly summarise. Then I'll tell you what it would've done if it passed as-is:

KoopaTV Judges The Pre-Iowa Fox News Republican Presidential Debate!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Welcome back, Jim Gilmore. PLUS, KoopaTV's ENDORSEMENT for the Republican race.

Welcome back, folks. You know the drill by now, I think. This debate is ran by Fox News Channel and Google so there's a slight technical bent. Better than Fox continually partnering with that garbage social media company that begins with “F” and ends in “acebook”.

KoopaTV is going to judge Fox's debates. Two of 'em. We'll start with the four candidates in the lower debate and then the seven candidates later. Awards ceremony that all eleven will be part of, and then OUR ENDORSEMENT.

The Iowa caucus is on Monday, and we hope the folks we've endorsed end up winning. It's important for the state of America. And, uh, the videogame industry. Of course.

By the way, the debate was actually approaching intelligence since Donald Trump wasn't there.

If Mario Really WAS From Brooklyn...

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...He'd sound like this, and he'd talk about this, too.

It has been persistent misinformation that our nemesis, the PLUMBER (and his brother), were somehow born in Brooklyn, New York. That's absurd. Nintendo literally made a videogame all about how this is wrong. It was called Yoshi's Island and it's one of the best games ever made. But a lot of people missed the implications of the story and just focused on lauding how amazing the gameplay is.

Some propose that Mario and Luigi were born in the Mushroom Kingdom (right so far) but somehow relocated and lived their child and young adult years in Brooklyn (no, this is stupid).

Well, if that were true, you'd think he'd talk anything like another guy raised in Brooklyn, New York you hear all the time in the news. His name is Bernie Sanders, an idol of Brooklyn accent afficionados. I propose that if Mario did live in Brooklyn for a substantial part of his life, and grew up in that environment and learned their values, he would talk like this (original Bernie Sanders parody video embedded below):

Ted Cruz's Candy Crush Craziness Disqualifies Candidacy

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - He's a Canadian copycat, too.

Freshman Texas senator and second-place Republican presidential contender (if the polls are to be believed) Ted Cruz has a big problem in his life.

He's addicted to his iPhone, and he's addicted to Candy Crush Saga. It drives his wife nuts, as it should. Listen to this 2014 interview:

The interviewer in that above video says, “You are a videogamer.” And Ted Cruz responds, “Indeed.”

The interviewer follow-ups, testing Ted Cruz's honesty: “What videogames do you like?”

Ted Cruz replies, 

We're Gonna Build a Wall: It's Gonna Be GREAT

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Don't forget about YUGE.

We've heard similar promises from Nintendo presidential candidate Ledge Trump: 

“I would build a great ledge, and nobody builds ledges better than Ledge Trump, and I’ll build them very inexpensively, I will build a great, trump-able ledge on our stages' edges. And I will have Microsoft pay for that ledge. Mark my words.”

While Ledge Trump lost his bid for president of Nintendo to some guy named Tatsumi Kimishima and was never seen again, Republican front-runner Donald Trump is still very much on a path to victory. While we don't really like Trump's bullying or his debate performances, you have to admire his bombastic nature and his penchant for hyperbole. We admire it, anyway. Probably 'cause we do it ourselves.

Trump built that wall FOR FREE! Look! No one can get to Trump Land on the other side!

I've been reading Donald Trump's book from 30 years ago, The Art of the Deal. I might review it in its own article sometime in the future. But essentially, Trump makes the case that all his life he's been building things under-budget and ahead of schedule and with great quality as a real-estate developer. This somehow contradicts the notion of “pick two” with the three dimensions of project management: Time, Money, and Quality. Trump has all three. How can this be?

Activision's Deals Buy MLG; ESPN Goes eSPORTS

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Huge stuff going on in eSports in America... if you're into that.

It's clear that the money folks don't think eSports is going away, if you were hoping for that. After Bobby Kotick's huge deal with Actision buying out King for almost 6 billion dollars, Activision continues its acquisitions by acquiring Major League Gaming (MLG) for a much smaller $46 million. Kotick basically wants to make an ESPN-esque kind of thing under his suit. 

To be exact, he said, “I want to build the ESPN of video games.” Keep that quote in mind.

It should mesh well with Activision franchises such as Call of Duty, Hearthstone, and StarCraft. That said, Activision will still allow non-Activision franchises on Major League Gaming, of course, and MLG's staff will still work on it. They primarily wanted to buy out MLG's premium streaming capabilities.

mlg.tv as of publishing. Yup, TOTALLY doesn't have an Activision bias.
By the way, you bet that mlg.tv competes with KoopaTV for entities with TV at the end of their name.

Activision would in fact like to bring MLG's content to actual televisions, hence the comparison to ESPN. Well, it just so happens that ESPN had a response.

Let Sakurai Work On What He Wants

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - I'm warning you.

Turns out that instead of Masahiro Sakurai getting a day off, he now has another project to work on. 

(That hyperlinked article I just linked was amazing and I forgot I wrote it, which is awkward because I was originally going to use this article to state that article's points. Can't really top the way I did it there, though, and it's so applicable to the new information in this article.)

According to Famitsu magazine and Gematsu's translation, Masahiro Sakurai said for 2016,

“I want to enjoy every day like it’s Sunday. However, that doesn’t mean the next job hasn’t been decided.”

While the constant use of negatives (“doesn't mean [it] hasn't been ...”? Why not “However, the next job is decided.”?) is a turn-off and an unnecessary obfuscation on Sakurai's part (that kinda thing is why he's not a reliable source but Famitsu is so we should be fine), what he's trying to say is that he can't just do nothing and relax. He has a new project now that he's done producing Super Smash Bros. 4 post-release content and any future balance patches will either not exist or can be done without him.

What's the next job? Obviously not something related to Super Smash Bros., and it might not even be on a Nintendo system. We have no idea what it is and I won't try to speculate on it, just that some non-Sakurai power is willing it to existence. There is just one thing about it that I hope happens.

Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon Making Me a Better Person?!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - ...How dare it!

I am the naughty prince of Koopas and proud of it. Most people out there would make the value judgment that I'm a “bad person” who enjoys the misery of others. I wouldn't make a spirited argument against that.

However, ever since Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon came out, things have been... changing. Just a bit. I hope it's only just a bit!

As I noted before, Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon brings back player-to-player rescue missions. It works like this:

1. Player A fainted in a dungeon. They send out a rescue request in the form of a QR code/password and post a screenshot of that somewhere, be it Miiverse or GameFAQs or ludwig(at)koopatv(dot)org
2. Player B finds that QR code/password and goes to Pelipper Island in their Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon copy. They talk to the leftward Pelipper and select Pick up mail and input the password/scan the QR code. (Please, please, please share the QR codes it's so much faster than an 80-character password.)
3. If Player B has been to that dungeon before and has previously reached the particular floor Player A fainted on, they can go save 'em. Player B then goes through that dungeon up to where Player A fainted and rescues them.
4. Player B goes back to the leftward Pelipper and selects Send mail and chooses Reviver Mail corresponding to Player A. They give Player A the QR code/password. They may choose to attach an item (which they won't get back) to the Reviver Mail, such as an Escape Orb or a Reviver Seed.
5. Player A enters the QR code/password and can play where they left off. 
6. After Player A finishes the dungeon and returns to the main menu, they can go to Pelipper Island to the leftward Pelipper and select Send Mail (Thank-You Mail). Player A may choose to attach an item.
7. Player A gives Player B the QR code/password for the Thank-You Mail. Player B returns to the usual place and gets thanked.

It's a lot simpler than it sounds.

Just remember that THIS is the important Pelipper.
By the way, like the Lillipup? That's Robert E. Lillipup, who has his own adventure you can play here.
He's the best character of 2015!

Microsoft's Minecraft: Education Edition

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Turning MinecraftEdu into an in-house learning project. Plus, subscription models.

Looks like the Minecraft juggernaut isn't slowing down. After expanding to alternate reality and the Wii U, Microsoft decided to outright buy out licensed educational spin-off MinecraftEdu, learn lessons about how to have others learn, bring it in-house, and make it into a subscription-based model named Minecraft: Education Edition.

Screencap from their YouTube channel's trailer video.
KoopaTV in no way endorses you to join their conversation. Besides, there ain't actually a conversation to join there.
There IS one in this article, though! Click the article and scroll down to the comments section!

 
Here's an excerpt of Microsoft's statement on the matter:

“We’ve already seen [Minecraft] transform classrooms and curriculum. Since 2011, MinecraftEDU from TeacherGaming LLC from Finland – a version of Minecraft built especially for the classroom – has reached thousands of classrooms in more than 40 countries around the world, all reporting wild success. We don’t want to stop there. We believe this is just the beginning.

Today, we’re excited to announce Microsoft is acquiring MinecraftEdu and investing in a new and expanded version of Minecraft for the classroom called Minecraft: Education Edition. This new title – available as a free trial this summer – will build on the learnings from MinecraftEdu while offering an expanded set of features. And in support of MinecraftEdu customers, they can continue to use MinecraftEdu and we will offer the first year of Minecraft: Education Edition for free.”

If you're wondering, TeacherGaming LLC will continue with non-MinecraftEdu education-using-games projects. If you want to know some further details about the differences between MinecraftEdu and Minecraft: Education Edition, that url outlines some of 'em. One of these is the availability of modifications (MinecraftEdu allows these but Minecraft: Education Edition won't) and the fact that MinecraftEdu is a one-time perpetually-lasting license (that will continue even after Minecraft: Education Edition's implementation) while Minecraft: Education Edition is a subscription-based model. Another is that Minecraft: Education Edition will have a Student Portfolio, and requires you to log-in from the school's local-area network. (MinecraftEdu can have kids bringing it home if they use it for school learning purposes.)

There's a trend at play with Microsoft here, and it has to do with their revenue model.

Compatibility Testing and PC Gaming Pain

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Testing is hard enough. Testing for gaming computers is a nightmare.

Once upon a time, or about three weeks ago, KoopaTV released Capture the Confederate Flag on the PC to the world. It won KoopaTV's Best PC Game of 2015 award shortly after. Unfortunately, the game was met with protest. Not over its subject matter, but over its...system requirements? Detractors began calling it “Capture the Confederate Lag”, because nowhere on the game page does it give system requirements.

As a result, people with really bad computers (such as off-the-shelf laptops) didn't have the best experience they could have with the game. This made people believe that the game was bad, and people across the Internet began to question if KoopaTV's Game of THAT Year decision-making process was... rigged.

Most assuredly not! But people have their doubts, and it stems from their compatibility issues.

This is a problem for anyone that develops games for the PC!