The Wonderful 1237: Voice-Acting and Sound Effects Video!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Nearly 15 minutes (!) of delicious voice-acting and sound effects. Mostly voice-acting.

After being teased for over eight months, KoopaTV is now ready to publish all of the voice-acting that went into The Wonderful 1237! It is the most amount of voice-acting that has went into any of KoopaTV's videogames to date, and probably for all time in the future as well.

Here, listen to it:

Want to know what I find interesting? Even though the game has 15 minutes of voice-acting (and a 15 second song at the end), the game is still not fully voice-acted. Capture the Confederate Flag was fully voice-acted and only got to 9 minutes. The Wonderful 1237 has almost fully voice-acted minigames (which, if you're interested in learning more about, click this article which also includes strategy guides/demos for all of the 17 minigames in The Wonderful 1237), but its cutscene/dialogue scenes in-between rounds are text-based.

Imagine how long this would be if it WAS fully voice-acted. ...Well, it would break the file limit of the game, since it's already 50 MB large.

You wouldn't know how much text is in the game unless you played it (play The Wonderful 1237 here!) and went through every round of the game. There's lots of character development too in that.

One other aside: I voice-acted everything in the game. I even voice-acted Roxy instead of Roxy voice-acting herself. You can call that whatever you want — quality assurance, consistency, being a control freak, or Roxy not having the time, equipment, or flexibility to submit voice recordings. I like to think I did a good job, though.


The entire The Wonderful 1237 is more than just a good job — it won KoopaTV's Best PC Game of 2016! That's actually well-deserved, too. This article falls under the Wonderful Wednesday series, which will be concluding with one more article after this one looking back at all of the marketing KoopaTV has done for The Wonderful 1237. You should play it on your Flash-enabled device, especially while it's still a special tab on KoopaTV's navigation. Plus, writing a review or filming a Let's Play of The Wonderful 1237 can win you absolutely massive points for the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program, where you can win money-equivalents in the form of gift cards!


The previous record-holder for the most voice-acting and sound effects in one of KoopaTV's games was Capture the Confederate Flag at 9 minutes.

KoopaTV's December 2015 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Let's make sure we thoroughly talked about all that's left of 2015 before we move on.

Welcome to KoopaTV's newsletter, the last one to talk about 2015. I'm not going to cover the whole year here, just December 2015. What's the point of talking about the whole year? That's bound to just be an average, and regression to the mean will say it was a "meh" average year. Whatever. Smaller time periods are gonna be more interesting than that.

I will say, however, that 2015 was the first year for KoopaTV where we published an article every single weekday of the year. 

And you betcha that December 2015 was interesting. So we're gonna get headings again, yippee. I think we'll go in sort of an order of “things that happened” and progress to “what's happening now and what's coming up”. That sound good? Then get past the page break, read more, and here we go! Because we got things to address that you really want to know about covering every aspect of the site, with tons of features.

How Independence Has Been Going

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Debatable for America, good for KoopaTV, and it will be good for Britain.

Have you read America's Declaration of Independence lately? It was signed 240 years ago, July 4, 1776. I'm not a big fan of it — it's very anti-monarchical. Here's what it says about princes (I'm offended on a personal level):

“A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.” 

Me? Unfit to be ruler?! Who the hell does Thomas Jefferson think he is?!

According to Herman Cain's fan-fiction, “Thomas Jefferson Comes To Dinner” (which you can listen to him read out loud here), Thomas Jefferson ends up appalled and stunned at the state of the United States of America today. Dude is never happy. I'm a tyrant. King George III was a tyrant. Obama is a tyrant. Hillary will (if elected/anointed) be a tyrant. The United States is a mess.

That said, rebellions are cool. I was on Team Naughty for that reason. KoopaTV is littered with pro-Confederate States of America articles and a game, Capture the Confederate Flag. 

The Battle Flag of George Zimmerman

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Preserving culture and fighting the media.

Readers of ZimmermanTV (that's KoopaTV when we've caught a cold) know that recently, George Zimmerman has been having trouble finding good people to associate with. He has a Mario-partying ex-girlfriend who thinks he's crazy. He has a truly crazy stalker who literally tried to kill him, and that particular guy is currently in the judicial system for that.

HOWEVER, he has finally found good company. Someone who is actually successful and owns a small business: Another gun store, the Florida Gun Supply. (We sorta hope that George Zimmerman won't have to physically guard this one.) It's Mr. Andy Hallinan. The two have made a "mini-documentary" together. You see, Mr. Hallinan doesn't want Radical Islam purchasing guns from him or participating in gun safety classes that he is making free for everyone else. In fact, he proclaimed he would deny service. So CAIR (Council on American-Islamic Relations; a well-known terrorism support group) sued Florida Gun Supply for illegal discrimination that violates Muslims' civil rights, or whatever.

So to support his friend, George Zimmerman is teaming up with Andy Hallinan to rescue America.

CAPCOM Video Policy Analysis

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's pretty reasonable.

Say what you will about CAPCOM USA, and I generally like them (even when it wasn't cool), but they have immaculate timing. They went and published a new Video Policy (archived here) that they knew would be controversial... at 3 AM. Besides the stealthy time of day, they published the policy on a good date, because today the news has been paying complete attention to mostly peaceful protests (with very notable rioting/an insurrection) in Washington D.C.! That's way more controversial than any video policy, so not only are people not paying attention to CAPCOM right now, but everything else looks better in comparison to the disaster going on in the Capitol. Excellent work all around, CAPCOM USA.

That said, you won't get past KoopaTV and my beady eyes, and this policy will likely be relevant to people far into the future, even if it's ignored today in favour of current events. To the few people who were paying attention to the CAPCOM Video Policy's existence (but might not have actually read it), they were saying it's the second coming of the Nintendo Creators Program. (Which I praised because I don't like YouTubers, but putting barriers on making a living off YouTube gaming videos didn't have the game design impact I was hoping for, since the game design implications of pleasing game watchers have since gotten much worse than 2015.) I've read CAPCOM's document. It's... not like that at all.

Don't Touch (Violent) Videogames, President Trump

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - If you do that, you will literally be no better than Crooked Hillary as a Senator.

It should sort of be a no-brainer that this article would be written on KoopaTV. There was a shooting at a high school in Parkland, Florida. Lots of kids (seventeen) died. People are blaming guns. Other people are blaming mental illness and the FBI for knowing this guy was a threat and ignoring their tips. Not many people are actually blaming the shooter himself, a creep named Nikolas Cruz. (No relation we know of to former videogame competitor and current United States Senator Ted Cruz.)

Originally I wanted to write a non-gaming article about the shooting, but President Donald John Trump changed KoopaTV's plans, as usual. 

For whatever reason, the President of the United States thinks videogames might have something to do with the situation. I'm not going to say that he's BLAMING videogames, because all he did was ramble one sentence about them and then provided several more about movies and how they need a rating system (that already exists). Here's his gaming-relevant quote, excerpted from a CNN video that lacks context and is titled that President Donald John Trump is blaming videogames for violence because CNN is FAKE NEWS:

Herman Cain With a Pokémon STOP!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Be careful out there.

After two years of silence on Pokémon-related matters, Herman Cain is back with a message on Pokémon GO. Here is what the former Republican presidential candidate, radio talk show host, and businessman has to say:

Here is Herman Cain's warning to Pokemon players. pic.twitter.com/5mh3CC6K8v

— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) July 19, 2016

Follow that advice folks. I don't really want to talk about Pokémon GO and I think it's received an utterly absurd and undue amount of media coverage and cultural resonance. 

But if Herman Cain's gonna mention it (and other sites are going to report on our coverage of him), then I guess I gotta report on it. He's a bit late, though. Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, among other conservative talk radio hosts, were on the Pokémon GO train already.

Herman Cain is the only one who has had previous experience with the series, however. And he really can't stay silent, with his own native Georgia's cemeteries being overran with disrespectful Pokémon GO players invading 'em.

You can read the full story in the Newnan Times-Herald here.
Serious props to them for including the accent in Pokémon.

People playing Pokémon GO are literally finding dead bodies (outside of cemeteries) and falling off of cliffs (to possibly add to the dead body count), along with being robbed and lured by unsavoury dudes with this app. Be careful. Even with it being an “excellent, brilliant concept.”

YOU might turn into the next PokéStop.

Herman Cain is at the Republican National Convention right now and has been all week, and he's been walking everywhere. He claims to be too busy to search for Pokémon, but that doesn't stop there being Pokémon present in Cleveland whether he knows it or not.

It's Herman Cain's favourite Pokémon, Pikachu, found at the Republican National Convention!

Update 7/22/2016:

Herman Cain talking about this on his Radio Show on July 22. Features Ted Cruz being lured on stage.

While Ludwig is writing filler due to DonCon taking up time in the day, the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program's current prize is a $10 eShop card. Just putting that out there. The interview featuring Herman Cain saying his favourite Pokémon is Pikachu has also been re-published to KoopaTV. It's the first thing linked-to in this article.


KoopaTV republished tips on how to stay safe while playing Pokémon GO. Take a look.
After this, KoopaTV reviews how the RNC went overall. Features another plushie in the MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN hat.
One player took Herman Cain's advice and brought his gun.
We presume that you don't need the government forcing you to be safe by banning Pokémon GO altogether.

KoopaTV Live Reactions: SOTU 2016

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Featuring a depressed House Speaker Paul Ryan, PLUS Nikki Haley's response.

As you know if you live in America, any TV channel in the United States that covers news or commentary has its programming usurped by President Barack Hussein Obama's final State of the Union!

Well, it happened. That's all, folks?

 

Nah, I reacted to it. Kamek was kinda there too in some capacity. A long time before I was. I was actually playing our Game of THAT Year 2015 winner Splatoon to make the time pass, but that's not reflected in the log. Read on.

I Believe In Miracles

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We must prevail.

It is almost over. Tomorrow is election day for Donald Trump, Gary Johnson, and Jill Stein supporters. (According to Koopa Kingdom's understanding, if you're a supporter of Hillary Clinton or Evan McMullin, election day is actually November 9 — this is done to ease the otherwise enormous lines and it makes sure everyone gets to vote. Check your local polling station for details.)

KoopaTV has endorsed Donald Trump for president, not just because it's the most correct choice, but because our own site's very survival depends on it. Throughout this entire process (ever since 2015), Hillary Clinton has been in the lead of whomever her Republican or Democratic opponent has been.

However... Here at KoopaTV, we believe in miracles.

A lot of people don't like any of the candidates and believe the United States is doomed no matter what. That it's the end of humanity.

But that's wrong. At the very end, a miracle will happen! And everything will be SCRUMPTIOUS... and it'll be a sexy thing. It's all in your hands, though.

To make sure you all know the importance of this moment in time, we've changed our logo to this:

Just a reminder: Pac-Man-Hillary is a real, canon thing used by Donald Trump in an advertisement he made in 2016. It's more than just an article KoopaTV wrote in 2014, and more than just her prominent role in KoopaTV's videogame, Capture the Confederate Flag.

We're just so in-sync with this guy that he's actively using our own ideas. It's already a miracle that he's come this far. It was miraculous that he managed to claw his way through the primaries. It was miraculous that he managed to make my opinion of him do a complete turn-around, if you read what I was writing about him over a year ago.

One more miracle to go! 


If you are still undecided for some reason, be sure to check out and read all of the articles listed in KoopaTV's Hillary Index. It's informative and light reading. Please be a part of the miracle. Ludwig wants you to appreciate the ideologically fair & balanced division of who votes on November 8, and who votes on November 9. This Miiverse post should also give you an idea of where this is going.


Donald Trump can win if he follows the electoral college map that Nintendo secretly proposed.
Here is KoopaTV's Election Day article, published on Election Day.
Well? Did the miracle happen? Click here to find out.
Donald Trump's victory reflects on KoopaTV.
Donald Trump was successfully inaugurated!

MADDEN CURSE: THE MOVIE!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Cursed to deal with EA's PR.

Back in December of 2010, buzz went around the Internet that EA Entertainment was releasing a Madden Curse movie directed by Pat O'Brien. Since then, we've had no idea what happened to the movie. (For more information about the Madden Curse, look it up yourself.) Being a paragon of exemplary journalism to answer the questions that we need to know, KoopaTV went through the mud to dredge up the latest information on this forgotten production.

...What happened after is extraordinary.

GameFAQs Best Year in Gaming: Wildcards and Round 1!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A new GameFAQs contest has begun... what was the best year in gaming?

Before E3 2017 begins, we have an exciting, year-based event to cover: A new GameFAQs contest! I get really excited over these. This time, it's not to figure out the best character or to figure out the best game... but the best... year? This strange format was presumably done to prevent idiotic troll-rallies like what happened for both of the GameFAQs contests that occurred during KoopaTV's existence. (Damn you Draven of League of Legends and damn you Undertale.) It's hard to get excited and rally for a whole year because lots of things happen in 365 or 366 days. ...But I'll try my best, and tell you my thoughts on the bracket for every round.

If you need a reference source for what games came out when — which may be especially confusing if you're not used to American release dates — the contest nerds over at GameFAQs's Board 8 contest board have made a List of Notable Games Released 1985–2016 wiki page.

The underlined years are the ones I'm voting for. If you think my write-ups suck, that's because I'm saving energy and material for the next four rounds.

GameFAQs didn't put their own logo in their banner, so I put it for them. Along with ours, of course.

 

Nintendo Treehouse Live E3 2016: Day 1 — The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild all day.

You've been waiting for this moment forever: The Legend of Zelda on Wii U (and NX) is now The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. And we're watching footage of it. A lot of footage of it. And commenting. ...A LOT of footage. Over four hours worth. Including new news about the game's antagonist and amiibo.

I'm Nintendork 13 13, Rawk is him, and Vortexica is breezinabout. We have quite a lot of content to share with you, so get ready:

It's Troubling That Sepia Go! is Considered “Impressive”

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - What standards do mobile trash bootleggers get?

If you're already around social media or Splatoon places, then maybe today you've learned about a Chinese mobile trash game on Android called “Sepia Go!”, which doesn't deserve being italicised. It's a rip-off of Nintendo-developed Splatoon, from the maps to the characters to the music to the gameplay. According to Twitter user ZhugeEX, who made this game's existence apparent to the rest of the world, even gamers in China think it's not cool.

The widely-distributed YouTube gameplay video of “Sepia Go!” was blocked by Nintendo on copyright grounds (they can control YouTube, but not China), and that's where some of this article's screenshots came from. Here is an alternative video you can watch, but I'd rather you use this time to read the rest of this article.

It looks like a disgrace and a disaster to me. Hopefully, you agree.

Here's what the title screen looks like:

Celebrate Presidents Day by Playing The Wonderful 1237!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's exactly the game for the occasion.

Isn't today nice? It's “President’s Day”, ”Presidents’ Day”, “George Washington’s Birthday”, or maybe even “Presidents Day”. ...Depends on where you are. 

Today is supposed to celebrate either George Washington, or any and/or every president of the United States. No one really knows for sure — but that doesn't stop many jurisdictions from having the day off. Great! Long weekends are fantastic. No matter how you look at it, today is about celebrating some kind of successful American winner.

Either way, today is not an appreciation day for non-presidents of the United States. (Sorry, Tatsumi Kimishima.) But if there is a current president of the United States that you do not like, and you don't want to honour him, what will you do? Will you scream NOT MY PRESIDENT out in the streets in protest? Perhaps you would rather scream over Twitter?

Well, if you really want to stay indoors today and feel passive-aggressive towards President Donald J. Trump, wishing that the Republican Party picked someone else to begin with, then KoopaTV has the videogame for you. It's called The Wonderful 1237, and you can play it on your Flash-enabled browser right here on KoopaTV!

The Electoral Map of the Splatoon Summer Splatdown!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - If you don't have Splatoon yet, then... what's with you?

Perhaps because Splatfests are officially over, the Splatoon team likely had a team meeting and discussed their options. Splatoon is losing the attention of many Nintendo Wii U owners. Sure, it outlasted many other games in terms of spotlight (who talks about Pokkén Tournament anymore?), but has its time come?

No! Only a little over a third of Wii U owners have bought Splatoon, according to the Wii U selling 13 million consoles and Splatoon selling almost 4.5 million copies. So what will Nintendo do?

It's time for Rounds 8, 9, 10, and 11 of the Splatoon Global Testfire! (For mention of Rounds 1–3 and my feedback on the testfires, look here. Round 4 mentioned here, while Rounds 5–7 teased here.) And according to Nintendo's press release, it's the same format, basic weapon choices, and limited basic maps as over a year ago. The game has changed a lot since then thanks to a steady stream of patches and updates, but it's back-to-basics to try to entice folks to join. They even made a trailer for it, deemed the “Splatoon Summer Splatdown!” There's something really interesting about it, too:

The State of the Videogame Industry if Hillary Clinton Had Her Way

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Warning: It's a dystopian future. Don't let it become a reality.

I'm sure that Hillary Rodham Clinton would love to be the next president of the United States of America, and in her dreams she would want a position much stronger than the president. One-woman ruler of the country. And if you're so foolish enough to allow that to happen, then you will be rewarding extremist anti-videogame, anti-creativity, and anti-freedom behaviour on her part. If videogame company executives or any self-professed gamers vote for her, then they either have short memories or they're not “real” gamers. This is a litmus test for your gaming credibility.

Hillary Clinton notoriously CREATED the Family Entertainment Protection Act while she was a United States Senator from New York at the end of 2005 as a response to the (inaccessible in-game) Rockstar Hot Coffee mod discovered in the code of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. What this means is that she wanted (and likely still does) the government's hands in the regulation of the videogame industry for the purposes of “protecting children.” I briefly mentioned Hillary Clinton and the Family Entertainment Protection Act in a great article a year ago, but this was a super-important moment in our industry's history — so it deserves more than just a cameo/tangent in another article.

There were five parts to this act (which didn't get out of committee — so there wasn't a vote on it) that I'll briefly summarise. Then I'll tell you what it would've done if it passed as-is:

Nintendo Laying Down The LAW On Fan Games!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Of course, included is my opinion on these games. And our own.

We are hot off the release of KoopaTV's free, Flash-based videogame for 2016, The Wonderful 1237. It's great and you should do more than merely check it out.

Others also tried to release games around this time (or before)... but unfortunately for them, they weren't able to keep their game published — or even finish them. These include September's losses of Another Metroid 2 Remake and Pokémon Uranium, and December's loss of Pokémon Prism mere days before the release of The Wonderful 1237. The former two were going to be two of four nominees for (the disastrous waste of time known as) The Game Awards 2016 for “best fan game”, if that means anything to anyone.

It doesn't to me.

So, what happened? Nintendo owns intellectual property that those games’ developers used without obtaining a license or permission from Nintendo to do so, and Nintendo clamped down and Digital Millennium Copyright Acted (DMCA) them out of existence, including their nominations for The Game Awards (which Nintendo sponsored for some terrible reason). Nintendo is very protective of their property, and when infringers of that property live in civilised countries (such as: not China), they can legally take action.

The key word there is “can”. They have a choice. They could overlook the violation like CAPCOM has been doing after I alerted their legal team about NeoGAF selling shirts (FOR PROFIT!) based on the Ace Attorney OBJECTION! or even encourage and get behind fan works like I said CAPCOM USA does; or get a game taken off the marketplace entirely, like the creator of the troll face did for Meme Run and Ninja Pig Studios. What's the right thing to do?

KoopaTV's December 2016 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Let's say good-bye to 2016 before we embrace 2017.

It appears to be the popular consensus out there that 2016 was one of the worst years on record. I'm not fully on-board with that notion. Lots of cool stuff happened, but we'll get to that later.

THIS is technically supposed to just review what happened in one of those twelve months of 2016 — though it also happens to be the last one, December.

So, let's start by covering my top-five recommended articles published in December:

Top Five Recommended Articles of December 2016

The following is in chronological order:

1. Hour of Code 2016, and Justin Trudeau's Bad Breakout
2. Ludwig's Fort Cobalt Review! (Paper Mario: Color Splash)
3. The Game Industry's Diversity Problem: A MYTH!
4. Nintendo Laying Down The LAW On Fan Games!
5. Gamers and Significant Others

Of course, all articles on the site are worth reading. We're a quality outfit.

But for December, it wasn't just things worth reading. We also published something worth PLAYING!

Ike and Abe? That'd never happen.

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Abraham Lincoln is the antithesis of the Radiant Hero.

I already wrote earlier about how misrepresented and terrible Ike is in Code Name S.T.E.A.M. here. You know, the protagonist Ike of Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance, Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn, and Super Smash Bros. Brawl and Super Smash Bros. 4 fame.

For a reminder, he looks like this in Code Name S.T.E.A.M.:

Deformed head, twig limbs. Terrible.

 
However, not only does he look out-of-place, but the very notion that Ike, the great Radiant Hero (you can see a ton of pictures of what he should like here) and saviour of Tellius, would ever team up with the likes of Abraham Lincoln is out-of-character. (The rest of this article has Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance and Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn spoilers, especially the former. ...The latter ones aren't a big deal.)

The New About Page

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - One About page for all your needs. Will be ACTUALLY UPDATED.

Time to do two things: One, de-mystify KoopaTV with an About page that will be maintained. And two, combine our perfectly good existing "About KoopaTV" page with our sorely lacking "About Us" page into one, to save some space for those page tabs at the top of the site.

Oh, and three: We're gonna keep a TIMELINE here of KoopaTV! Now you can follow key events without hassle!

Last Update: July 4, 2023