Hillary Clinton: The Dark Age of the Law

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's come sooner than anyone has realised.

Back during the second Democratic Presidential Debate for 2016 (which happened in November — 8 months ago. How time flies!), I said this:

“The Dark Age of the Law is set to begin in 2020. 2020 happens to be part of the term of the winner of this presidential election. I firmly believe that nominating one of the Democrat participants of this debate would lead to the Dark Age of the Law occurring.” 

I guess I'm off by four years. (So is CAPCOM.)

If KoopaTV was a crappy enough website to do this, I'd have this be auto-playing background music starting now whenever you go on the site:

The Dark Age of the Law.

It turns out that you didn't need Hillary Clinton actually elected for it to begin. How could I be so foolish? America already has President Barack Hussein Obama! That's corrupt enough. He's the one that promoted Crooked Hillary from a videogame-industry-attempted-murderer to Secretary of State.

And you know what she did as that? (Well, if you've been paying any attention at all to the news, you would.) 

A Memorial for The Law, Which is Dead

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The rule of law is dead on Earth.

I had three ideas for this year's Memorial Day article: This, something about the Fire Emblem series, or something about Vortexica. The latter seems... inappropriate and premature, even given recent circumstances. The middle is a bit redundant given Memorial Day 2016 (see the bottom of this article for a list of our previous Memorial Day articles), and I don't even think it's dead given the hope for Fire Emblem on the Nintendo Switch.

So, we're gonna get political (and/or Ace Attorney) again and just say the whole concept of the law is dead. My basis for this claim is what we said in a KoopaTV article in July of 2016: Hillary Clinton: The Dark Age of the Law.

The entire point of that article was making the claim that the law was dead due to its inequitable application between people like Hillary Clinton, and people like... everyone else. I wrote that,

“The man who will bring us out of these dark ages and into an era of brilliant golden light [is] [...] Donald Trump.”

WELL. We've had President Donald John Trump for over four months now. Is the law still in a dark age? What of Hillary Clinton?

This reoccurring music embed, along with, you know, the title of the article, should let you know my thoughts into the matter: 

KoopaTV Judges CBS's Democrat Presidential Debate

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The title is a misnomer. They're not running to be your president. They're running to be your tyrant.

We don't want KoopaTV's judgments of these presidential candidates — Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Martin O'Malley (how long does he plan to be there?) to get stale. So let me put it up front:

This will be the last Democrat 2016 presidential primary we'll be judging. Oh, I'll still watch them because of my masochist behaviours. But we could keep giving analysis on the events of Thursday's Nintendo Direct and have plenty of material without wasting articles on these D-denominated dimwits.

More importantly, this is all still a coronation of Hillary Clinton. She is the inevitable candidate that no one with an operating brain has love for. At least the other side has an on-going exciting soap opera of moving parts full of drama and intrigue. And at least some candidates on that other side are bringing up issues surrounding the videogame industry, or even directly referenced a specific game. Meanwhile all the Democrats have is a candidate who has a past of trying to ban videogame sales.

And that's a good segue to go into the tyranny they wish upon America! 

Fake Dossier→No Collusion→Impeach Anyway; Dark Age of the Law?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Institutional breakdown.

The biggest FAKE NEWS of the decade is the fabrication that President Donald John Trump “colluded” with “the Russians” to pull off a miracle and ascend to the presidency of the United States. This was repeated as a matter of fact by Democrat politicians and the media, as well as bitter intelligence officials.

One of the corroborating factors for this lie was the “Steele dossier”, which was an unverified document paid for by candidate Donald Trump's main opponent, the Hillary Clinton campaign. It claimed, among other things, that the Russians had compromising and embarrassing information on candidate Donald Trump, and because of this, they are able to control all of his policy decisions or else they'd release this information. This dossier was submitted by the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) as the basis for why the government needed a Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) secret court warrant to spy on Trump campaign member and American citizen Carter Page, who was mentioned in the dossier. (Spying on American citizens is a big deal.)

The Mueller Report, by Special Counsel Robert Mueller, has just been released and ultimately couldn't establish a case for coordination/collusion between the Trump campaign and the Russian government... which makes even the New York Times wonder how this fake-filled Steele dossier got so much power to be used as the primary evidence in a spy warrant.

Thanks to the dossier, as well as a series of coincidental contacts between Trump campaign members and people from Russia, this investigation started in 2016... and has now ended in 2019, with the conclusion that no collusion happened. How do Democrats respond? Well, let's ask Democrat presidential nominee and KoopaTV-ignoring jerk, Elizabeth Warren:

The Hillary Clinton Article Index

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - This will be a site tab until after the election.

It is EXTREMELY important that folks, especially readers in the United States of America who are voting age or know people that are voting age in America, know that voting for Hillary Clinton for president this November 8 is a sin and a terrible idea.

...An unforgivable sin, and an unbelievably bad idea.

We promise all sorts of different angles for upcoming articles between now and Tuesday, November 8, 2016, that will all try to communicate this central point of Never Hillary.

Since we already have so much anti-Hillary content, and since we will continue producing content along that theme, and because all of the content builds upon one another...

...I've decided to make this index of Hillary-focused articles. This'll make it easy for me to reference the existing Hillary canon, and it'll make it easy for you to SHARE all of these terrible things about Hillary Clinton that the world needs to know about. I don't care if you're a Donald Trump guy or a Jill Stein...thing, but everyone across the political spectrum should agree that Hillary would be a travesty. There are many more passing references to Hillary on the website, but these, as I said, are more focused on her.

Without further ado, the carefully collated and annotated index, featuring all of the headers being linkable:

New Ace Attorney! Shu Takumi's Project Revealed!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The NEW one. Directed by Shu Takumi.

We don't usually piggyback off news announcements because we're always later than other people (well, besides the George Zimmerman in Super Smash Bros. 4 announcement... yesterday), but this is Capcom's Ace Attorney series. It's the darling of KoopaTV. So here we go!

 TAKE THAT!

Oh, right, we have slightly better production values than that.

TAKE THAT!

Mr. Wright! ...Except ancient.

(Spoiler-Free!) Ace Attorney 5? JUDGE KOOPA IS PRESIDING. VERDICT IN!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - The long-awaited Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Dual Destinies review.

I have been saying I'm going to write a Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Dual Destinies review ever since the day it came out in North America, over a month ago. Since I want you to get it, I decided the best way to approach this review is spoiler-free. If you get spoiled, that reduces the chances you'll get it. So no spoilers. The review format will be a modified version of my earlier review.

Judge Koopa is here. Stand up. ...Now sit down and pay attention!

Kamala's Continuous Californian Corrupt Cop Culture

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Enabling criminality among prosecutors’ offices across California.

It is the duty, by Californian law, for the Attorney General of California to “see that the laws of the State are uniformly and adequately enforced.” The Attorney General directly supervises all district attorneys, sheriffs, and other law enforcement officers in how they do their duties, including investigations and prosecutions.

Kamala Harris, whom is currently running for Vice President of the United States, was California's Attorney General from 2011 to 2017, and was also the district attorney of San Francisco from 2004 to 2011. She has years of experience as a prosecutor of great authority... but is it a good record?

Tulsi Gabbard memorably and succinctly summarised Kamala Harris's record as a “top cop” prosecutor in this debate clip from the second primary debate. Watch this if you get nothing else from the article:

In the span of this article, I'll cover what Tulsi Gabbard was referring to in some more detail, plus some additional facts and Kamala controversies that even Tulsi couldn't cover in her limited response time! That includes a story that KoopaTV has been following for years: the SL-9 incident.

Remember, the information in this article is Kamala Harris's record. This is the majority of her experience as a public official. This is why she believes she should be president of the United States, and what she is “proud” of:

Turnabout Job Interview, and Lindsey Graham & Adrian Andrews

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Our ability to compare and contrast with current events and Ace Attorney is... unparalleled.

We have been mesmerised by the activities of the United States Senate Judiciary Committee and the confirmation process of Judge Brett Kavanaugh, especially the hearing yesterday featuring him and his accuser, Christine Blasey Ford. To back up, near the start of July, President Donald John Trump nominated Judge Brett Kavanaugh of the United States Court of Appeals for the Washington DC circuit to replace retiring Supreme Court justice Anthony Kennedy's Supreme Court seat — a normally lifetime position. He's extremely qualified, and a conservative Republican. Naturally, the resistance Democrats want to oppose his nomination, since they disagree with his judicial philosophy.

What has followed are a series of increasingly incredible but non-credible accusations of sexual assault and rape from women, going back 36 years ago to Brett Kavanaugh's high school days. Brett Kavanaugh has denied all of them. Christine Blasey Ford was the only one of these accusers that even the desperate Democrats considered credible, and so we have the following case...

Turnabout Job Interview.

Date: September 27, 2018
Defendant: Judge Brett Kavanaugh
Victim: Dr. Christine Blasey Ford
Defence Attorney: Rachel Mitchell, and Senate Republicans
Prosecutor: Senate Democrats
Judge: Senator Chuck Grassley
Allegation: A drunk 17-year old Brett Kavanaugh sexually assaulted a 15-year old Christine Blasey Ford at a house party
Verdict: To be determined

Read on for details.

The #LockHerUp President Got Arrested

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - To be fair, he hasn't actually been locked up. (Yet?)

After posting FAKE NEWS by being two or so weeks off from his promise of “THE FAR & AWAY LEADING REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE & FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, WILL BE ARRESTED ON TUESDAY OF NEXT WEEK.”, former President Donald John Trump was indicted and arrested in the Manhattan Criminal Court today under thirty-four counts relating to falsifying business records.

You can tell that FAKE NEWS CNN is very excited about this moment.
You can also see the former president waving to a crowd of Secret Service agents.

The crux of District Attorney Alvin L. Bragg Jr.'s claims and statement of facts is that the non-disclosure agreements were done for the purpose of candidate Donald John Trump's first run for president in 2015–2016, but the payments were done in the name and ledger of his non-political business, the Trump Organization, and the candidate directed this all to happen in that way. Campaign expenditures and business expenses aren't supposed to mix.

KoopaTV Endorses Donald J. Trump for President of the United States of America

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Well, you saw this coming. But we'll tell you exactly why.

Are we the first videogame site to endorse Donald J. Trump for the general election? ...Will we be the only one? Well, we'll try to start a trend.

If you know anything about KoopaTV, you'll know we aren't afraid to get political here. It's a site feature, really. And, countless times over, it's ended up relating back to gaming anyway, so it's not totally off-topic.

Whether you want to avoid it or not, the results of this election will have a large impact on the gaming industry and the way you play. The presidency of the United States can affect that stuff in such a large way, mostly (see in the “Why You Shouldn't Vote For The Others” section for a directly bad example) indirectly. But those factors are important. As Bernie Sanders kept trying to do in his KoopaTV guest post, things like the economy and whether or not you're sent to a war you shouldn't be in affect how you play games.

Note: Put your cursor over the following headings to find out the url to directly link to that heading.

Now that we have that out of the way, why Donald J. Trump for president? 

KoopaTV Judges the Pence vs. Kaine Vice-Presidential Debate

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Or, as Herman Cain would put it, Pence vs. K-A-I-N-E.

Both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton looked pretty undesirable in the previous & first presidential debate. So, maybe the guy who will probably run the show for Trump (Mike Pence) and/or the guy who no one knows who he is (Tim Kaine) will be better than their respective top of the ticket?

Tim Kaine is a Senator from Virginia, and was also the governor of Virginia. He continues the trend of this presidential election cycle producing former governors of Virginia that no one knows about, the first being KoopaTV-favourite Jim Gilmore. Vortex was pretty amused when I asked him what it feels like to be the only person in Great Britain to even know who Jim Gilmore is, so I think with this vice presidential nomination, Tim Kaine is at least above that. He seems like a generic white guy. (Tim and Jim, hm...)

Meanwhile, Mike Pence is a movement conservative, and that includes some of the bad stuff that legislating social conservatism brings. He's otherwise solid, but that is a big hurdle. Unlike Trump, Mike Pence's personality is best described as “boring”, and could also be described as a generic white guy.

As established in the first debate back in September, some donor money from Ludwig is on the line for the debate performances tonight! The grading system will show up at the end of this article, and someone's going to get some money eventually. (Ludwig withheld the $11 he owes the Trump campaign until a better time. Perhaps now will be that time?) Without further ado, the judgment:

A Review Of Choice: Texas — Should You Choose It?

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's a "very serious game", so I'll write a very serious review.

Choice: Texas is an "indie" game that has gotten a lot of press on KoopaTV; more than some MAJOR console games have. (This will now be the sixth article dedicated to it.) This month, we were finally able to announce that it is fully playable after more than a year of development. As such, this Best PC Game Of 2014 nominee will be the first PC game reviewed by KoopaTV! Congrats to the developers.

As a bonus, I'll even try not to let my personal biases about abortion and the developers themselves (or their biases against KoopaTV, such as blocking our Twitter account) get in the way of the review. Enjoy.

The game's logo, which omits the colon in the name.

You can read my preview of the game's first playable forme back in May here.

Play the game at: http://playchoicetexas.com/ 

The 2021 and 2022 20th Anniversary Ace Attorney Orchestra Concert Differences

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Two different 20th Anniversary Ace Attorney concerts... on different years!

Remember that Ace Attorney concert I mentioned at the end of that article about Maya Fey calling Phoenix Wright an attention whore? Well, that concert happened, and it was called the Ace Attorney 20th Anniversary Orchestra Concert. However, there was also a 20th Anniversary Orchestra Concert that took place in 2021, the year of the actual 20th anniversary.

That means... there are TWO concerts in the span of a year for Ace Attorney. That's very impressive and very appreciated attention. But now we're in a scenario where we need to be able to tell the two anniversary-timed concerts apart—2021 and 2022—and they actually do have different sets of music! To which my friend (and KoopaTV reader) Samantha Lienhard messaged me and said that the 2022 concert, unlike the 2021 concert, “had a big section devoted to Investigations 2. ...I want this to mean something.” (She's referencing what could be named Ace Attorney Investigations 2: Miles Edgeworth's total lack of being localised and how we've been asking CAPCOM for years to make that happen.) But I told her the differences required more investigation, and in Ace Attorney fashion, I was granted one additional day of investigating after pleading with the judge. THEREFORE, in that day... I MADE THE FOLLOWING EMBEDDED TABLE.

TAKE THAT!

Sexual Misconduct of the Real Roy: Roy of Pherae!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Let's clear up who the Roy is that women everywhere should be scared of.

All you hear in the news is that some new Pokémon games came out, and that there is an epidemic of sexual misconduct by the universe's royalty. But the biggest culprit of all the royalty? A ROY. Yes, a royal Roy is the biggest sexual deviant of them all. I just want everyone reading to know that this is not the Roy I think of when I think of Roy. No, it is a human of the continent of Elibe. This human is the marquess of Pherae within the country of Lycia. Yes, I am talking about THAT Roy. He doesn't have a proper last name, but I think “Roy Pherae” will do.

KoopaTV has done a full investigation to clear the name of any Roy that may mistakenly be seen as the bad guy in all of this. That's what happens when the real culprit goes by Roy with no middle name. In the course of this investigation, we've talked with several women that Roy Pharae has done bad things with and to. At the end of this article, we have a very clear message to the world regarding Roy Pherae.

The contents of this article might be disturbing to some people, since it deals with sensitive topics from real victims. Then again, if you consume the news, you should already be accustomed to this.

About Roy

First, let's go over what we know about Roy. He first appeared in Super Smash Bros. Melee, and then showed up in Fire Emblem: The Binding Blade, alternatively known as “Fire Emblem 6” or “Fire Emblem: Fūin no Tsurugi” or “Fire Emblem: Sword of Seals”. Roy is the son of Eliwood, who is the son of Elbert and Eleanora. Roy grew up frustrated, stemming from his mother's decision to not continue the Pherae lord trend of beginning one's name with “El”. He also had a foster brother named Wolt. Roy grew up being raised by two old men: an old warrior named Marcus, who also served Eliwood, and an old merchant named Merlinus. When KoopaTV asked Eliwood about his interactions with Marcus, he recalled this quote from Marcus back when Eliwood was not even an adult:

Phoenix Wright's Leitmotif Maturity

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Phoenix Wright's leitmotifs follow his growth as a lawyer. Plus, more Ace Attorney stuff to buy.

I just spent about $16 on Ace Attorney content on the Nintendo 3DS: I bought the five Ace Attorney 3DS menu themes that are being sold for $1.99 each, and $5.99 on the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice DLC that came out today!

Turnabout Time Traveler! Read all about it from CAPCOM here.

You can talk about why everyone is on a first-name basis besides Edgeworth for that DLC description in the comments below, because I have something to actually discuss in this article besides advertising Ace Attorney stuff.

Something I noticed as I was pissing my money on 3DS home menu themes (which are a total waste of money, but I need to lead by example on giving CAPCOM any Ace Attorney-related cash I can) was Phoenix Wright's OBJECTION! themes. Actually, I noticed this a while before today, but let's try to have clean transitions, shall we?

Mr. Wright's OBJECTION! theme from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations (the 3rd game in the series) is now his leitmotif to be reused for Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Dual Destinies (5th game) AND Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Spirit of Justice (6th game) Meanwhile, his OBJECTION! theme from the first Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney is what is used for spin-offs, including Ace Attorney spin-offs and crossovers. I'm sure this has nothing to do with whomever is directing the game in question, and everything to do with Phoenix Wright himself.

First, I'd like to submit some evidence.

President Donald Trump's Third Year Reflection

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Technically, it's us reflecting on ourselves when talking about him.

For the past two years, KoopaTV has reflected on our coverage of President Donald John Trump. Why? We committed a long time ago to wanting to be fair & balanced as we discuss the performance of a man that we, representatives of the foreign government of Koopa Kingdom, endorsed and helped elect. We owe it to our Earth readers.

In KoopaTV's first year of coverage, we wrote 19 articles where the main topic was about President Donald John Trump, with 9 articles with positive coverage, 1 article of neutral coverage, and 9 articles containing negative coverage. However, KoopaTV's second year of coverage was not only reduced with only 9 articles in that year, but only 2 of those were positive, 2 were neutral, and 5 were negative. 

So what happened from January 2019 to January 2020? For this article, I continued what we've done in previous years and I compiled the following list of all of KoopaTV's coverage about President Donald John Trump, and noted for each item the topic, and if our coverage was positive, neutral, or negative. As an easy summary, there's a table at the end.

Articles that mention President Donald John Trump in passing, but aren't about him, are excluded from this. Every Democrat presidential primary debate article is excluded since those aren't about him by definition!

For fun, try guessing what the ratio will be before getting to the end.

All dates in this article are in mm/dd/yyyy format.

You Can Buy M Rated Games Digitally Underage on Nintendo, Plus Ace Attorney Sales and Demo!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Nintendo DOES listen, and now is your best time to buy into Ace Attorney.

You need to be aware of two concepts to understand how important this information is: 

1. Nintendo renovated their online (Internet, not from the eShop application) digital store relatively recently. 
2. KoopaTV waged a major initiative to get Nintendo to allow sub-17 year old 3DS eShop users to purchase M-rated games if their parents allowed it, to parallel brick & mortar purchases. Because of how Nintendo Network IDs and the eShop worked, this was impossible even with parental permission. This ultimately ended in a Nintendo representative more-or-less suggesting for younger users to call them and say they entered their birth year wrong when filling out their NNID, prompting the Nintendo customer service person to change the birth year to an older time.

That second point was always a temporary, awkward roundabout way, pending Nintendo making real change.

Well, as of point #1 happening, that real change happened. (KoopaTV made a real difference in the world, folks.) This was confirmed by Miiverse user and huge Ace Attorney fan Maddie, who is an under-17 years old fangirl who has been wanting to play Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney — Dual Destinies for several years now. Take a look:

CAPCOM Video Policy Analysis

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's pretty reasonable.

Say what you will about CAPCOM USA, and I generally like them (even when it wasn't cool), but they have immaculate timing. They went and published a new Video Policy (archived here) that they knew would be controversial... at 3 AM. Besides the stealthy time of day, they published the policy on a good date, because today the news has been paying complete attention to mostly peaceful protests (with very notable rioting/an insurrection) in Washington D.C.! That's way more controversial than any video policy, so not only are people not paying attention to CAPCOM right now, but everything else looks better in comparison to the disaster going on in the Capitol. Excellent work all around, CAPCOM USA.

That said, you won't get past KoopaTV and my beady eyes, and this policy will likely be relevant to people far into the future, even if it's ignored today in favour of current events. To the few people who were paying attention to the CAPCOM Video Policy's existence (but might not have actually read it), they were saying it's the second coming of the Nintendo Creators Program. (Which I praised because I don't like YouTubers, but putting barriers on making a living off YouTube gaming videos didn't have the game design impact I was hoping for, since the game design implications of pleasing game watchers have since gotten much worse than 2015.) I've read CAPCOM's document. It's... not like that at all.

Simon Blackquill Convicted of Murder of Metis Cykes

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - In unrelated news, the Ace Attorney games are on sale again.

(Los Angeles, California) Rising star prosecutor Simon Blackquill, 21, found himself on the defendant's chair of a Los Angeles courtroom, accused of the October murder of psychologist and mentor Metis Cykes, who worked at the Cosmos Space Center. Mr. Blackquill pled guilty to the murder. There are still unresolved questions, like what caused the HAT-1 Rocket's problems, but those are being investigated separately. Metis's daughter, Athena Cykes, 11, pleaded with the court not to convict Mr. Blackquill, but her courtroom outbursts were disregarded in favour of photographic evidence of Mr. Blackquill's misdeeds, coupled with his confession.

The judge in the Blackquill-Cykes case.
(Courtroom illustration. His identity can't be ascertained from the picture.)

Simon Blackquill was found guilty by the presiding judge and sentenced to death. His actual execution likely won't occur for years to come given options for appeal.

The public seems to be devastated in their reactions to the conviction. Prosecutor Blackquill's conviction follows a series of other prosecutorial and law enforcement misconduct, as well as the disbarment of defence attorney Phoenix Wright earlier in 2019, along with political corruption. Trust in public institutions, especially in the criminal justice system and the legal system, are at an all-time low. It could even be characterised as a dark age of the law.

In unrelated news, over 1500 videogames are on sale on the Nintendo eShop, including CAPCOM's Ace Attorney series. These include $21 off Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Dual Destinies on the Nintendo 3DS, which CAPCOM created based off the real-life events depicted above. (Very quick game development from them.) There are also other games on sale based off other Los Angeles legal matters, like Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy that is $15 off on the Nintendo Switch. (Based on Phoenix Wright's career prior to being disbarred.)

The CAPCOM sales end on January 5, 2021, at 2:59 AM Eastern.


You should play/buy those Ace Attorney games. The KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program Round 35 is ending soon, and soon is before the CAPCOM sale ends, so you can fund your next purchase(s) using funds from KoopaTV if you make an effort and win.


CAPCOM put their games on sale at the same discounts for winter 2019, though Ace Attorney Trilogy is $5 more off now than then.
Miss the December 2020 sale? How about the January 2021 sale?
There is another CAPCOM Holiday Sale (and eShop sale in general) for the end of December to the start of January in 2021!