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Monday, January 15, 2018

Is Sierra Leone A Shithole? The Great People There!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We take issue with that man's belief.

Last week, United States of America President Donald John Trump reportedly (according to a Democrat in the room) said that “African countries” are “shithole countries.” (In a discussion about immigration protections for people currently in America.) He also said that immigration protections should be ceased with Haitians.

He has since said good things about Haiti in a tweet, but nothing about any African countries. What, is Africa beneath him?

There is some debate about whether or not the President actually said “shithole”, but no one is denying the basic sentiment behind the statement — people from economically disadvantaged countries shouldn't come to, and stay in, the United States under the merit-based immigration system proposed by President Donald John Trump. (He prefers Norwegians and Asians.)

We're writing about this, because, as you should know already, KoopaTV's Earth-based headquarters is in Sierra Leone. While the President didn't allegedly name-drop Sierra Leone, I think we can safely assume that he had Sierra Leone in mind, if he really did say that. (Sierra Leone was already the target of an immigration spat that directly affected KoopaTV.) Rather than talk about videogames or something, I think we owe our Sierra Leonean landlords the rent for 2018 one article that serves as a defence against the President's assertions demeaning our adopted country.

Friday, January 12, 2018

Super Smash Bros. Is All That Keeps The Wii U Going

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And by “going” I mean, “not invalidated.”

Once upon a time I wrote an article bemoaning all of the (downgraded) Wii U ports coming to the Nintendo 3DS. Well, after yesterday's Nintendo Direct Mini (January 11, 2018), now you get that same article but with the Nintendo Switch taking the place of the 3DS.

Of course, in that first article, I wrote that this would happen for Wii U games to “the NX”, but I didn't predict that we would get the unprecedented move on a game released on the Wii U, then ported to the 3DS, and THEN ported to the Nintendo Switch. (That's Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition.)

Hyrule Warriors Legends Definitive Edition Wii U 3DS Switch
I think they're just mad that we never nominated Cia for Best Character of the Year in 2014 or 2016, so maybe they think we will in 2018?
The only thing we've done with Cia is write about the Central Intelligence Agency, so...

We also got an announcement for the previously-Wii-U-exclusive Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze (now with a FUNKY KONG mode, aka easy mode), and new stuff you can buy for Pokkén Tournament DX, which has already been out on the Switch from its Wii U origins.

Thursday, January 11, 2018

KoopaTV's Sporadic Live Reactions to Nintendo Direct Mini — January 11, 2018!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - A Nintendo Direct so mini, that we need two logs to fill the article up.

Originally, I wanted to write an article mocking all of the outlets that, for weeks, was hyping everyone up on a Nintendo Direct to be released on January 11, 2018, based solely on weird rumours. I wanted to make a lesson about how KoopaTV is the source you can count on not to peddle FAKE NEWS. Internally, I was shutting down any discussion about this would-be Direct by the FAKE NEWS cry.

Well, an hour before Nintendo tweeted this, I wrote in our KoopaTV Discord server:

[8:08 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: It's the 11th.
[8:08 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: No Direct announcement.
[8:08 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: FAKE
[8:08 AM] Ludwig Von Koopa: NEWS

But, yeah, Nintendo tweet:

I still think I'm not wrong in saying it's FAKE NEWS (it's a Nintendo Direct MINI, not a Nintendo Direct! BIG LEAGUE of difference.), but regardless, our staff was not prepared for a synchronised reaction log. So you get this weird thing where RawkHawk2010 reacted pretty much immediately after the Nintendo Direct Mini was up, and I took my sweet, sweet time and responded over eight hours later. (Hey, I got a day job.)

You can follow along here, but you'll have to do it twice:

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

World Health Organisation To Make Code For “Gaming Disorder”

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - On the way for gaming addicts to get the treatment they need.

The dark underbelly of the videogame industry that I've been talking about for years is finally getting some top-level medical recognition. I'm talking about gaming addiction. 

In Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!!, we portrayed Chad Joseph as a gaming addict. Years later, I was at risk of lapsing into addiction because of Nintendo's free-to-play games. By the end of 2015, we saw what a full-on addicted guy looks like when he sued Bethesda for his addiction to Fallout 4, which basically ruined his life. (No one seems to have followed the story for what happened to that guy. I'd contact the Russians on it, but I only can voice-act Russian from a script like in Soviet Missile Run, KoopaTV's new videogame.)

So, gaming addiction recognition. The World Health Organisation (WHO)'s publication, the International Classification of Diseases (ICD), will include the condition “gaming disorder” for its 11th edition due this year. To qualify for the condition, it appears that you will have to be gaming so much that you put gaming over other life pursuits, despite negative consequences. You also won't be able to control how much you game.

A lot of other media sources stop the story there, but we'll keep going and explain what that actually all means. 

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

The Big Bang Theory Is TERRIBLE! (Action vs. Comedy Splatfest)

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Bringing down the whole genre...

Welcome to the first Splatfest of 2018. Splatoon 2 will keep giving us Splatfests for about one and a half more years. What exciting topic will Pearl and Marina bring us for the WORLDWIDE (instead of regional) Splatfest beginning this weekend?

Splatoon 2 Splatfest Action or Comedy teams introduction
ACTION VERSUS COMEDY, in a movies and TV shows sense.
Just to review, this Splatfest asking about genres in movies and TV shows comes after we just had a Splatfest about Films versus Books. (Note: I supported Books.) I guess since Films won, the next Splatfest is themed around what KIND of films you like. ...We had a Splatfest on that, too, on genres: Sci-Fi vs. Fantasy. (Note: I supported Fantasy.)

On that note, that sort of segues into my decision. Let me be clear: I don't even watch movies or TV shows. My lack of knowledge of what even goes on television is why this website is called KoopaTV, even though it's primarily made up of text-based content. That said, my favourite show, ever, that I basically base my life around, is Seinfeld. Obviously, that's a firm comedy show. Meanwhile, I have no strong opinions about any action show or movie. 

However, based on an argument that Team Action captain Pearl made, I cannot support Team Comedy:

Monday, January 8, 2018

KoopaTV's 2017 GOTY Awards!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Game of THAT Year 2017... and other categories.

Welcome one and all, to the fitting conclusion to one of the best years in gaming. It was also one of the best years in KoopaTV. We get to talk about what's best for both gaming and KoopaTV (sometimes, those CONVERGE!) in this article!

Quite frankly, I'll be happy just to get this over with, since it's been nothing but arguing all weekend. Very intense stuff behind-the-scenes, believe me.

Follow along with all the items that were nominated by checking out KoopaTV's 2017 GOTY Nominations. We have a policy not to disclose which staffer voted for which game.

Friday, January 5, 2018

KoopaTV's 2017 GOTY Nominations!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And other categories.

These were decided and talked about in our Koopa Keep Discord server. Behold!
The déjà vu from years past is intentional. (To be eligible, those running have to start their existence in America from January 1, 2017 to December 31, 2017.)

And just so you remember, that stands for “Game of THAT Year”. That's the KoopaTV touch.

But yeah, this isn't just about gaming, but also ourselves. ‘cause we're art to be recognised and applauded, too. Just to make it clear, we have an “each KoopaTV article may only be nominated once, total.” rule that obviously doesn't apply to the gaming half.

KoopaTV Game of THAT Year GOTY Nominations and other categories 2017
This article is such a rehash of the 2016 one that I just drew over the 6 to make it a 7!

Thursday, January 4, 2018

Watch Kamek Stream Yooka-Laylee; January 2018!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Maybe this'll get Yooka-Laylee to win a Game of THAT Year award, or at least get in the nominations?

We've been hearing the cases of hundreds of games released in 2017 for our Game of THAT Year awards. Nominations are going to be published tomorrow, but there are still a few games left to hear the case from. Yooka-Laylee is one of them — having been released on the Xbox One earlier in the year and on the Switch less than a month ago. Kamek owns the former and Rawk owns the latter, and contrary to his testimony, has actually been playing it and has some unique thoughts on it.

(Kamek and Rawk combo article to review Yooka-Laylee is still in the works. This obviously isn't it, hence the byline being me.) 

In a move that is not a breach of gaming journalism ethics but is a breach of the laws of sentience, Yooka-Laylee is treating our staff—and anyone else who wants to watch—to a Twitch stream. You know, with copies of the game that the staff has paid for. This is in hopes of being eternally recognised as the Game of THAT Year. My, Yooka-Laylee is so confident in its quality that the game isn't even trying to bribe us.

Kamek will be in Moodymaze Marsh. 

Yooka-Laylee Pagie do you want to unlock Moodymaze Marsh
Yes, let's go.

Anyway, watch the stream embedded below, or click here to access it from Twitch — including the live chat! (It's rare that we ask people to access something away from our website, so trust us on this one.)

It should start at around 11 PM EST.

Watch live video from Ultralink1000 on

By the way, if enough people are interested in Kamek's streaming, that'll probably result in there being more streaming in the future. I heard from the end of that should we get Rocket League article that he got the Jackbox Party Pack games...

Yooka-Laylee swimming model head body Yooka water
Yooka's head to body looks REALLY weird in water.

If you're reading this footer, then the streaming must have ended and thus this whole article would be pointless. (Alternatively, Kamek succeeded in getting the stream as a video-on-demand.) Oh well, that probably means that the hyperlink to the KoopaTV's Game of THAT Year 2017 nominations article will be below this footer. Check that out to see how well Yooka-Laylee did for nominations, and then check out the bottom of THAT article on the night of January 8, 2018 for a hyperlink to the actual awards.

Here are KoopaTV's Game of THAT Year 2017 nominations. Did Yooka-Laylee get represented?

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Saying eSports Are Sports is NOT a Liberal Conspiracy!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - It's actually a conservative notion to make.

On Tuesday, a novice guest host substituting for Rush Limbaugh, the greatest radio talk show host in history, made the claim that the movement to call eSports a type of sport is part of the liberal war against truth and words, done by the same people who are pushing the notion that men should be able to identify as women. His name is Todd E. Herman, and he's otherwise known for being a former “New Media Director” (digital strategist) for the Republican National Committee.

Previously, Mr. Limbaugh has provocatively stated that people who play videogames are among the least successful of those in society, and now his guest host is taking it a step further. Mr. Herman's (not to be confused with KoopaTV inspiration and another conservative radio talk show host, Herman Cain) argument is that once you devalue the meaning of words like sports and gender, liberals will go after freedom and liberty as well. Once those are out of the picture, then the American experiment is over, so you got to stop the left-wing slope of slipperyness by opposing the eSports are sports movement.

For the record, the results are pretty consistent that eSports are nowhere near the popularity of “traditional sports” and that even gamers who would vote on the GameFAQs poll of the day are much more likely to spectate traditional sports than an eSport. 

GameFAQs poll of the day watch more of traditional sports or eSports gamers
A plurality of gamers don't associate with any sports.
Source: GameFAQs poll.
Mr. Herman initially defined sports as about a pursuit of competitive excellence, with a handshake at the end. As the program continued (he spent a couple of minutes on eSports and tried to spend the rest of the program on topics such as Iran and terrorism), he kept getting phone calls about only eSports. It seems that the conservative-leaning Rush Limbaugh audience disagreed with the premise that the growing popularity of eSports is a liberal conspiracy! Just getting it out of the way: This article's premise is not that right-leaning people think that eSports/gamers/gaming are bad or anti-American or liberal. Most right-leaning people, if the caller volume was any indication, disagree with this particular host. I do too.

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

New Years Celebration in New Donk City

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - And why the Metro Kingdom is more dangerous than the United Kingdom.

Great news, guys: KoopaTV has affected yet another election result for a candidate we favour! This time, it was Mayor Pauline of New Donk City, who won over Donkey Kong. The people celebrated, and just in time for the new year, 2018! Here's a clip of the New Years Eve ball drop and subsequent song and dance festival in New Donk City, in honour of Mayor Pauline:

Yes, Mayor Pauline was re-elected as New Donk City mayor following our amazingly popular KoopaTV Adventures Special Episode: New Donk, New Donk song that you absolutely must watch for this article to make sense. As you can see in the clip above, the New Donk people are wearing their yellow-and-purple Crazy Caps, and then they're even dancing to a post-election variation of New Donk, New Donk!

Here are some photos of the celebration if you can't see the whole video embedded above for some reason:

New Years Eve 2017 2018 New York Time Square Planet Fitness yellow purple hats
Look closely at all of the yellow-and-purple Crazy Caps in the crowd!

Super Mario Odyssey New Donk City Festival Crazy Cap purple yellow
A close-up of the New Donk City Festival performance, where they were performing the New Donk, New Donk variant.

Monday, January 1, 2018

KoopaTV's December 2017 Review Newsletter

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - 2017 was kind of one of the best years of our lifetime. December helped a little.

Before I can officially usher in 2018 (though one of the first things I did today was update the copyright statement at the bottom to be 2013–2018), we need to review 2017. Erm... not the whole year (nominations for that are this Friday while the awards are next Monday, so go influence our thoughts in the comments section), just the last twelfth of it. DECEMBER! What else do you expect for a December 2017 review newsletter?

...Oh, well, there's new content and information in this newsletter too. They're just lower on the page. And if you want to know the results of the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program round 17 (the BIGGEST ROUND EVER in terms of prizes and engagement — probably correlated), you'll have to get through the page break. Bwahahaha! 

Soviet Missile Run Released! Play It Here!

The biggest story of KoopaTV's December 2017, and I like to think the entire universe (certainly more than what 12 Diet Cokes a day does to your health), is that Soviet Missile Run has been released exclusively on KoopaTV. That's huge. If you're using a flash-enabled device (in other words, a computer with above shit-for-RAM), go play it. Highlight of your day. Otherwise, you can at least enjoy Soviet Missile Run's 30-second advertisement video.

Top Five Recommended Articles of December 2017

We've been the highlights of all of your weekdays for the whole month of December with our fantastic core product: the articles. They're all worth reading, believe me, but here are the top five recommended articles in chronological order for December 2017, not counting the Soviet Missile Run ones: