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Wednesday, August 16, 2017

The Wonderful 1237 Strategy Guides: Scott Walker

 By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Scott Walker, in the governor's house! Scott Walker transformed into a mouse!

Two more strategy guides left for The Wonderful 1237! If you are just joining us, then you really should go back and start with what The Wonderful 1237 is by clicking there. Basically, The Wonderful 1237 is a browser-based Flash game that is a satire of the 2015–2016 Republican presidential primaries.

Each opposing Republican candidate — 17 in all (you play as yourself) —  has their own minigame, which you can read about in terms of the development process over here. Today's article, as the header delightfully will tell you (it's a reference that you shouldn't get), is about Scott Walker. Scott Walker is the governor of Wisconsin. He won three elections to be governor in four years, which, if you don't know about America's politics, is very abnormal. (One of those was a recall election made by union thugs.) Unfortunately for Scott Walker, no one likes him outside of Wisconsin, and he was considered too ugly and not charismatic for everyone else. I think his stats in The Wonderful 1237 reflect that, having the second lowest stat total in the game. He is of no threat to anyone (except union thugs).

...Which means you should enjoy his minigame demo at the bottom of the page!

Candidate Stats

Base stats and growth:
Beauty: 0 + (0–1)
Cool: 0 + (0–3)
Cute: 0 + (0–1)
Smart: 0 + (0–3)
Tough: 0 + (0–4)

Average untouched stats after 14 rounds:
Beauty: 7
Cool: 21
Cute: 7
Smart: 21
Tough: 28

Average likelihood of surviving Iowa if untouched:
Very unlikely. (Scott Walker will have 7 delegates on average; need 11 to clear.)
The Wonderful 1237 Versus Scott Walker endorsement minigame fight screen
“Versus... Scott...WalKER! Fight.”




Minigame

Basic Information

Name:
Maze Escape.
Objective:
Get to the other side of the maze.
Approximate Time to Play:
A minute... at least. You might get lost and be stuck forever.
Controls:
Arrow keys.


Strategy

Detailed Description:
Scott Walker is transformed into a mouse and has to make his way through a maze with arrow keys. At the end of the maze is some good ol’ Wisconsin cheese. For your convenience, Scott Walker leaves a red thread behind wherever he has gone.
Scoring:
Your score is 160 minus the number of seconds it took to finish. If you took less than 60 seconds, you'll get a 100. If you take more than 160 seconds, you'll get a 0. Of course, this means you have 60 seconds to score 100%.
Optimal Tactics:
The best practice is to look where you should go before you start moving. Also, stay in the middle of the hallway so you don't glitch and get stuck somehow. ...It can happen, so please avoid that. The REALLY optimal thing to do is to cheat by looking right below.
Variants:
There are three different mazes that Scott Walker can be subjected to, and they have uneven difficulty levels. Each has the same chance of being selected. Here are the mazes, already perfectly solved for you:
The Wonderful 1237 Maze Escape Scott Walker solution map 1 right path
It's unclear how to even access the left side of the maze.
The Wonderful 1237 Maze Escape Scott Walker solution map 2 left path
You have the opportunity to get lost on the right size of the second map.
Don't do it.
The Wonderful 1237 Maze Escape Scott Walker solution map 3 middle path
This map happens to have you going through the middle.

Having a right-oriented map, a left-oriented map, and a middle-oriented map was a complete coincidence.



Other Trivia

Skill(s) Tested:
Fine motor control and impulsivity.
Inspiration/Flavour:
Scott Walker is the governor of Wisconsin. Wisconsin is known for its cheese. Mice like cheese. Scott Walker is ugly. Mice are ugly. So... Scott Walker turned into a mouse wanting to eat cheese. Mice are subjected to mazes by jerk scientists. Wisconsin features a lot of corn mazes. ...I dunno, somewhere in there, the inspiration for the game makes sense.
Since I can't make mazes, I used this maze generator. The guys behind that have been erroneously credited in all of the credits for every The Wonderful 1237 project this whole time. They're JGB Service but they're called JBG Service in all of the credits. My bad. (I won't fix it.)

Play The Minigame Here!





Ludwig screwed up trying to get the maze solution pictures perfect more times than he would like to admit. If you think you have what it takes to get through any of Scott Walker's mazes AND MUCH MORE, play the entire The Wonderful 1237 here!


The strategy guide before this was for Lindsey Graham.
The FINAL strategy guide is for Jim Gilmore.

2 comments :

  1. This was one of the mini-games that I never got past because I would always get stuck on a wall at some point. Knowing now that Walker has the second lowest stats in the game, in retrospect I wish I would have just skipped it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...Yeah, don't get stuck in the walls. That's bad for you. <_<

      It happens a lot less often than "always" if you make good corner-turns.

      Delete

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