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Monday, July 4, 2016

How Independence Has Been Going

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - Debatable for America, good for KoopaTV, and it will be good for Britain.

Have you read America's Declaration of Independence lately? It was signed 240 years ago, July 4, 1776. I'm not a big fan of it — it's very anti-monarchical. Here's what it says about princes (I'm offended on a personal level):
A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.” 
Me? Unfit to be ruler?! Who the hell does Thomas Jefferson think he is?!

According to Herman Cain's fan-fiction, “Thomas Jefferson Comes To Dinner” (which you can listen to him read out loud here), Thomas Jefferson ends up appalled and stunned at the state of the United States of America today. Dude is never happy. I'm a tyrant. King George III was a tyrant. Obama is a tyrant. Hillary will (if elected/anointed) be a tyrant. The United States is a mess.

That said, rebellions are cool. I was on Team Naughty for that reason. KoopaTV is littered with pro-Confederate States of America articles and a game, Capture the Confederate Flag

One year ago, we rebelled against our koopatv.blogspot.com domain name to switch to www.koopatv.org. It's worked out pretty well for us. We have really slick koopatv.org e-mail addresses. We've gotten a lot more offers from random people on the Internet, ranging from people wanting us to proofread their Fallout 4 website for them, to a syndication deal with a TV Tropes spin-off that never happened (we're still waiting for their admin to get back to us after he said he would) after we put ourselves on their site. We've also gotten a ton of spam, creepy fake guest posters, and potential viruses.

Dejan Lukic SEO expert search engine optimisation spam written by experts 100% unique
Well, no one's ever heard of you before, and Googling you doesn't help anyone.
You'd think a so-called SEO expert would make himself known.

But if it weren't for this domain name, we probably would've never gotten the attention of Bernie Sanders himself. For about a week, we were able to be posted on NSider2 after they banned the blogspot. We're able to be linked to on 4chan now. For whatever reason, we're considered an unacceptable domain on Reddit's politics sub-reddit.

We've also managed to make the price of a hypothetical www.koopatv.com skyrocket. It was $2,754.25 as of March 19, 2016. Right now?

www.koopatv.com valuation domain koopatv.org GoDaddy Sedo Domain.com Who.is
$4,744 from most places to purchase www.koopatv.com. We're not gonna do that.
I'm a little concerned about that Sedo offer to “Contact us to acquire” www.koopatv.org.

Do you know why it's so expensive to buy that? Totally our fault. Now it's worth more than a lot of other potential websites. You can blame our fascinating content for that. And we wouldn't be recognised if we never stepped a claw into the domain name universe. One year ago, we MADE people pay attention to us.

So, yes, independence is working fine for us. What about Britain? Vortexica seems... worried, to describe his article on Brexit in one word. Meanwhile, I totally advocated for the United Kingdom to get out of the European Union. It's clear that there really aren't plans for what to do now that the United Kingdom has successfully left, and Leave leaders Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage are taking themselves out of political life.

Despite that, the stock market has recovered from the absolutely bound-to-be-temporary shock from the change:

Dow Jones before after Brexit stock market recovered July British exit
The Dow Jones has pretty much caught up to its pre-Brexit levels. ...The Pound has still sunk, though.

I still think that, whatever happens, Britain will be better off a sovereign nation than the Germany-led European Union. The EU is bound to collapse any year now, though hopefully Britain finishes its exit (which will take YEARS because of the tens of thousands of laws they need to change) before that happens so it can actually take advantage of being independent.

So... not everyone is better off being independent. That's a scary statement coming from a very individualistic person like myself, but many folks simply cannot handle being responsible for themselves. I put Paper Morton Koopa Jr. into that category. Dude needs someone always looking after him. (Flesh Morton Koopa Jr. is fine, though.)

Personally speaking? I like when I'm independent. ...But I absolutely hate losing MY own control over OTHERS. Rebellions are great if I benefit, and they're absolutely, one-hundred percent forbidden if they're against me! You rebel against me, and you're on a shit list forever and I'll use any opportunity to defile your name.

So don't even think about it.

Ludwig Von Koopa Mario & Luigi Paper Jam dethroned defeated boss Neo Bowser Castle
I hate independence! Everyone needs to be subjugated by us, just like Alberta was!
 

KoopaTV, while independent of having a scrub-tier domain name, is not an independent publication. It is wholly owned by Koopa Kingdom, and exists to promote the messages of Koopa Kingdom and its rulers. Follow one of its princes on Miiverse, at NNID PrinceOfKoopas!


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2 comments :

  1. The Declaration of Independence was actually signed on August 2nd, 1776. http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2011/07/the-signers-of-the-declaration-of-independence-did-so-on-august-2nd-1776-not-july-4th/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signing_of_the_United_States_Declaration_of_Independence#Date_of_signing

      The Ritz guy in the article is right. July 4.

      Delete

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