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Tuesday, November 11, 2014

KoopaTV's Live Reactions to CALL OF DUTY: ADVANCED WARFARE Cutscenes!

By LUDWIG VON KOOPA - We personally involved ourselves with this series again.

Apparently, it is now KoopaTV tradition to watch the latest Call of Duty game's cutscenes and publish it on Veterans Day! That is what we did last year with Call of Duty: Ghosts, and this time we are totally ready for Activision's latest offering: Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare. It's not on the Game Boy Advance, but it IS on every non-Nintendo console. Well Sledgehammer Games outdo Infinity Ward?

Read on and find out. I'm Nintendork 13 13, and RawkHawk2010 is himself. And there are a ton of other guys that appear throughout that you might find familiar!

You can watch along with our live reactions here.

Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare best QTE.
We pay our respects to the veterans of Koopa Kingdom. ...Best quick-time event ever or what?

 Nintendork 13 13 7:47 pm
    Okay.
    LET'S
    TRY TO START THE LOG
    *ahem*
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVc1v04IaS4
    That's "Call of Duty Advanced Warfare all cutscenes HD Movie"
    I'm putting the YouTube quality settings to 1080p!
    I wonder if it'll crash sometime thanks to that.
    You ready?

 Nintendork 13 13 7:50 pm
    .......
    (Did Rawk get shot?)

 RawkHawk2010 7:51 pm
    i keep getting invited to things
    helicopter.dick has invited you to join the "Chill Like a Boss" AIM group chat.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:51 pm
    Well put your AIM status to Invisible.
    And block those dudes.
    WE GOT CALL OF DUTY TO WATCH

 RawkHawk2010 7:51 pm
    k

 Nintendork 13 13 7:51 pm
    There might be helicopters.

 RawkHawk2010 7:51 pm
    on the page

 Nintendork 13 13 7:51 pm
    There might also be dicks.

 RawkHawk2010 7:51 pm
    say start when you start

 Nintendork 13 13 7:51 pm
    ...Hope there aren't but...
    START

 RawkHawk2010 7:52 pm
    robot

 Nintendork 13 13 7:52 pm
    Yo this looks like a movie already.
    Mitchell?
    IS THAT THE SAME MITCHELL
    WHO GOT HIS ARM STUCK

 RawkHawk2010 7:52 pm
    who?

 Nintendork 13 13 7:52 pm
    IN THE FIRST E3 TRAILER OF E3 2014

 RawkHawk2010 7:52 pm
    Oh.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:52 pm
    During Microsoft's E3.

 RawkHawk2010 7:52 pm
    I thought you said Michael.
    Because that guy looked like Jeff Michael.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:53 pm
    Nah this is just an inferior Billy Mitchell.
    ...REALLY inferior.

 RawkHawk2010 7:53 pm
    IT'S ANTHONY HIGGS

 Nintendork 13 13 7:53 pm
    YEAH
    MITCHELL, IRONS
    HEAD OUT
    who names their kid Irons

 RawkHawk2010 7:53 pm
    North Korea is invading Seoul.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:53 pm
    It's an initiation.
    They're in space.
    Didn't this happen in the previous Call of Duty game?

 RawkHawk2010 7:54 pm
    goddamn!
    first profanity of the game

 Nintendork 13 13 7:54 pm
    See you on the other side.
    FIRST QTE

 Nintendork 13 13 7:55 pm
    ...Heck, first player action is a QTE.

 RawkHawk2010 7:55 pm
    off to a great start

 Nintendork 13 13 7:55 pm
    Except for Mitchell it was a slow-time-action.

 RawkHawk2010 7:55 pm
    lol

 Nintendork 13 13 7:55 pm
    are they dead
    "You still in one piece?"
    LT or RT
    the great decision.

 RawkHawk2010 7:55 pm
    is this whole game gonna be QTE?

 Nintendork 13 13 7:55 pm
    For our purposes, yes.
    Since we're only watching cutscenes.
    Oh that guy is on a surface.
    I thought he was floating.

 RawkHawk2010 7:56 pm
    North Korea sure got competent in forty or so years

 Nintendork 13 13 7:56 pm
    After jumping off.
    Yeah.

 RawkHawk2010 7:56 pm
    This takes place in the 2050s I think.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:56 pm
    Dat safe descent.
    DAT LOADING
    MID-DESCENT

 RawkHawk2010 7:56 pm
    lol at that load mid-fall

 Nintendork 13 13 7:56 pm
    This is the 8th generation, guys.
    Still got loading problems.

 RawkHawk2010 7:56 pm
    This reminds me of X.

 RawkHawk2010 7:57 pm
    The walking mech.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:57 pm
    "Who the hell are you guys?"

 RawkHawk2010 7:57 pm
    CL0UD STRIFE esta online.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:57 pm
    Cloud Strife PT està online.
    Portuguese Cloud.
    There is one everywhere.

 RawkHawk2010 7:57 pm
    what the fuck is this view

 Nintendork 13 13 7:57 pm
    wtf are those

 RawkHawk2010 7:57 pm
    Oh
    I thought he was carrying the car door
    instead of a shield
    lol

 Nintendork 13 13 7:57 pm
    He WAS.
    #notyourshield

 RawkHawk2010 7:58 pm
    Well

 Nintendork 13 13 7:58 pm
    Boost jump.
    Ain't that from Metroid?

 RawkHawk2010 7:58 pm
    Nice to see Call of Duty has a jump that's higher than a foot now.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:58 pm
    Yeah.
    That's progress.
    Best innovation so far.
    Do badgers jump?

 RawkHawk2010 7:59 pm
    Honey Badger does.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:59 pm
    Gate opening.
    No dog this time.

 RawkHawk2010 7:59 pm
    Bumper jumps in his hovercraft.
    Or he did.
    Before going to jail.

 Nintendork 13 13 7:59 pm
    Ha.

 RawkHawk2010 8:00 pm
    uh
    did he just teleport?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:00 pm
    Video editing.

 RawkHawk2010 8:00 pm
    oh

 Nintendork 13 13 8:01 pm
    So is there any time you wouldn't want to safely descend?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:01 pm
    Otherwise holding X is just an unnecessary press.
    HIS ARM IS STUCK
    LIKE IN E3
    WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENS

 RawkHawk2010 8:01 pm
    lol
    is this a qte

 Nintendork 13 13 8:01 pm
    WIIILLLLLLLL

 RawkHawk2010 8:01 pm
    "hold X to unstick arm"

 Nintendork 13 13 8:01 pm
    It's such a shame Will's lip-syncing sucked.
    In his last moments.

 RawkHawk2010 8:02 pm
    lol
    jesus christ
    these people sure our dependent on Mitchell
    "MITCHELL!"
    "MITCHEEEEEEELL!"

 Nintendork 13 13 8:02 pm
    Dat arm
    HE GOT THE ARM OUT AFTER ALL
    Mitchell monologue.

 RawkHawk2010 8:03 pm
    typo
    "tak en"

 Nintendork 13 13 8:03 pm
    Will was Mitchell's best friend.
    Private William Robert Irons.
    I'm surprised Anthony Higgs didn't die first.
    Is this the first funeral in CoD?

 RawkHawk2010 8:04 pm
    yex
    HOLD X TO PAY RESPECTS

 Nintendork 13 13 8:04 pm
    LOL
    HOLD X TO PAY RESPECTS
    AHJAHAHABHAHAJAA
    hold on
    pause
    I wanna screenshot that

 RawkHawk2010 8:04 pm
    paused
    the qte to end all qtes

 Nintendork 13 13 8:05 pm
    unpause

 RawkHawk2010 8:06 pm
    wait
    12:54

 Nintendork 13 13 8:06 pm
    k
    I'm at 13:06

 RawkHawk2010 8:06 pm
    k wait
    k tell me when to unpause

 Nintendork 13 13 8:06 pm
    ...
    now
    Sorry for your loss.
    Prosthetics to bring him back to fighting.
    ...So does Mitchell not have PTSD?

 RawkHawk2010 8:07 pm
    I'm dead.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:07 pm
    'cause I wouldn't wanna be back after that.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:07 pm
    Now Mitchell's best friend is a dude named Joker.
    wtf are they doing now

 RawkHawk2010 8:08 pm
    Is this even Korea?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:08 pm
    No
    This is Camp David, Maryland.

 RawkHawk2010 8:08 pm
    POTUS

 Nintendork 13 13 8:08 pm
    Obama?

 RawkHawk2010 8:08 pm
    Mitchell Obama.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:08 pm
    Why the hell is this guy attacking Obama?

 RawkHawk2010 8:08 pm
    not to be confused with Michelle

 Nintendork 13 13 8:08 pm
    lol
    KICK

 RawkHawk2010 8:08 pm
    THAT WAS HIM
    THAT WAS OBAMA
    oh fuck
    dude
    It's Romney.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:09 pm
    AHH
    LOL
    I guess they're rescuing Romney.

 RawkHawk2010 8:09 pm
    Either Romney or Targgart.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:09 pm
    From unspecified terrorists.
    lol

 RawkHawk2010 8:09 pm
    Taggart*
    After he wins in 2054.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:09 pm
    ROMNEY
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    ...oh.
    Simulation.
    Tour time.
    They're in a company called Atlas.
    ...Atlas Shrugged?
    Big mercenary company.

 RawkHawk2010 8:12 pm
    Maybe Atlus made a lot of money off their localizations.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:12 pm
    Atlas has built infrastructure in Sierra Leone.

 RawkHawk2010 8:12 pm
    And they became this.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:12 pm
    Including KoopaTV's office?
    lol

 RawkHawk2010 8:12 pm
    They could even afford to spell their name right now!
    What's wrong with our boy's arm again?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:12 pm
    uh
    I thought it was Will's arm that got stuck.
    His arm is prosthetic now.
    We'll see what's wrong with it in these diagnostics.

 RawkHawk2010 8:13 pm
    more qtes

 Nintendork 13 13 8:14 pm
    I wanna be that technician doing QTEs.
    On the monitor.

 RawkHawk2010 8:14 pm
    so

 Nintendork 13 13 8:14 pm
    Gideon was spying on all that, I guess.

 RawkHawk2010 8:14 pm
    was that arm on the ground ours?
    and not Will's?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:14 pm
    ...I thought it was Will's.
    I GUESS IT'S OURS
    Overdrive.
    This reminds me a lot of Metroid Prime 3.
    And Hyper Mode.

 RawkHawk2010 8:15 pm
    where the fuck are we now

 Nintendork 13 13 8:15 pm
    Romney's place.
    Both in Prime 3 and this, the protagonist spent some time with a technician.
    To activate a super-power mode.

 RawkHawk2010 8:16 pm
    that really does look like romney

 Nintendork 13 13 8:16 pm
    Yeah that dude is literally Romney.

 RawkHawk2010 8:16 pm
    this is political commentary
    on what happened to Earth if Obama didn't get a second term.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:16 pm
    I think Activision just wanted to make a generic white guy.

 RawkHawk2010 8:16 pm
    according to the devs.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:16 pm
    ...Romney became dictator for life?

 RawkHawk2010 8:16 pm
    And Romney is the most generic white guy there is?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:16 pm
    Yeah.
    Well.

 RawkHawk2010 8:17 pm
    lol yeah

 Nintendork 13 13 8:17 pm
    Tim Pawlenty is.
    CHECHEN
    CHECHYNA
    BOSTON BOMBER

 RawkHawk2010 8:17 pm
    Captain Ajani
    Mitchell's teeth are fucked.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:18 pm
    Press X to activate the drone.
    So this is Skyward Sword's Beetle?

 RawkHawk2010 8:18 pm
    is this gameplay?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:18 pm
    I hope not.
    This looks disorienting if you were controlling it.
    Who got shot?

 RawkHawk2010 8:19 pm
    R.I.P. Romney

 Nintendork 13 13 8:19 pm
    Taggart?

 RawkHawk2010 8:19 pm
    yea

 Nintendork 13 13 8:19 pm
    That wasn't Romney.
    ...I hope.

 RawkHawk2010 8:20 pm
    If it was then no one cares.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:20 pm
    lol

 RawkHawk2010 8:20 pm
    ...which is what would happen with Romney to be fair.

 RawkHawk2010 8:20 pm
    no one would care if he got elected
    no one would care if he died

 Nintendork 13 13 8:20 pm
    What kind of code-name is prophet?

 RawkHawk2010 8:20 pm
    The City of Lagos?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:21 pm
    ya.
    Capital of Nigeria.
    I think.
    Dude gets to shoot through walls.

 RawkHawk2010 8:21 pm
    What are we doing in Nigeria?
    Fighting ebola?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:21 pm
    Beating up Chechynan terrorists.
    Tsarnaev if he doesn't get the death penalty.

 RawkHawk2010 8:23 pm
    This is straight out of Bayonetta.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:23 pm
    wtf did the SUVs do

 RawkHawk2010 8:23 pm
    That's the SUV Zimmerman rescued the family from.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:23 pm
    They're mowing down Nigerian soccer moms.
    Throw
    See?
    Helicopter.
    Told ya.

 RawkHawk2010 8:24 pm
    told what

 Nintendork 13 13 8:24 pm
    That there would be a helicopter.

 RawkHawk2010 8:24 pm
    o

 Nintendork 13 13 8:25 pm
    fucking car accident
    Just like real life.
    :-(

 RawkHawk2010 8:25 pm
    what is even happening

 Nintendork 13 13 8:25 pm
    Yo, I'm super afraid of driving off a bridge into an ocean or something.
    Why does Romney's body keep showing up?

 RawkHawk2010 8:25 pm
    If you do that you know what you do right?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:25 pm
    No.

 RawkHawk2010 8:25 pm
    You either open the car door immediately or if you have to wait for the car to totally submerge

 Nintendork 13 13 8:26 pm
    Wh-What would that do?

 RawkHawk2010 8:26 pm
    cuz you can't open the door when it's only partially underwater
    something about pressure

 Nintendork 13 13 8:26 pm
    Atlus still makes movies.
    Or localizes them.
    I dunno.
    Got their cutscene division.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:27 pm
    Dat chair swivel.

 RawkHawk2010 8:27 pm
    spiky haired dude looks like guy from How I Met Your Mother

 Nintendork 13 13 8:28 pm
    Atlus opening into the Nigeria market.

 RawkHawk2010 8:28 pm
    who is the kva

 Nintendork 13 13 8:28 pm
    The Chechyen dudes.

 RawkHawk2010 8:28 pm
    The Korean Video Awards?
    Oh.
    There's Tsarnaev.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:28 pm
    "The world must be reset to it's natural state."
    dat typo
    That doesn't sound like Hades.

 RawkHawk2010 8:28 pm
    "Hades!"

 Nintendork 13 13 8:28 pm
    Sounds like Viridi!

 RawkHawk2010 8:29 pm
    "Mitchell!"
    "Hades!"
    "Mitchell!"
    Or just "Mit"

 Nintendork 13 13 8:29 pm
    Romney

 RawkHawk2010 8:29 pm
    But that's...yeah, taken.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:29 pm
    I missed what we're doing here.

 RawkHawk2010 8:30 pm
    Killing dudes.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:30 pm
    First zipline of the game.
    Dat Boost Jump.

 RawkHawk2010 8:31 pm
    where's the dog to open these doors

 Nintendork 13 13 8:31 pm
    loading
    President Romney stuck all the dogs on the roof.
    Of cars.
    So there are no longer any dogs to open gates.
    Gideon is addicted.
    Doesn't wanna leave.
    "But Daddy, five more minutes!"

 RawkHawk2010 8:33 pm
    wait.
    I thought Veteran's Day was in March.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:33 pm
    No.

 RawkHawk2010 8:33 pm
    what am i thinking of

 Nintendork 13 13 8:33 pm
    You're thinking of Memorial Day.

 RawkHawk2010 8:33 pm
    Oh yeah.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:33 pm
    ...except not
    Memorial Day is in
    uh
    May?

 RawkHawk2010 8:33 pm
    Oh.
    President's Day is in Feb.
    All the same thing in my book.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:34 pm
    Achievement Unlocked! Radioactive.
    THAT WAS IN SEATTLE?

 RawkHawk2010 8:34 pm
    why is someone on dial up

 Nintendork 13 13 8:34 pm
    I guess Chechyans have nuclear weapons.

 RawkHawk2010 8:34 pm
    i heard dial up noise

 Nintendork 13 13 8:34 pm
    Ya.
    Is this a 9/11 reference

 RawkHawk2010 8:35 pm
    one man

 Nintendork 13 13 8:35 pm
    Black dude getting ebola-tested

 RawkHawk2010 8:35 pm
    lol

 Nintendork 13 13 8:35 pm
    Atlas commercial.
    "The way forward"

 RawkHawk2010 8:35 pm
    Has America become a corporatocracy?
    Which is why the POTUS is so damned useless?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:36 pm
    Apparently Atlas saved the whole city of Detroit.
    'cause Obama couldn't do it.

 RawkHawk2010 8:36 pm
    a bit late on that one

 Nintendork 13 13 8:36 pm
    lol
    They said 2 million dudes live in Detroit.
    Which is... more than now, I guess.
    "An empty city without police or eyewitnesses"
    Yeah 'cause everyone left Detroit 'cause it's a shitty city.
    (Thanks to Democrat policies.)

 Nintendork 13 13 8:37 pm
    Going to the hospital.
    Mecha dudes.
    Random shooting.

 RawkHawk2010 8:39 pm
    HANDS UP DON'T SHOOT

 Nintendork 13 13 8:39 pm
    "Don't shoot!" *punch*
    lol

 Nintendork 13 13 8:40 pm
    Yo wot happened
    The dude got a big headache?

 RawkHawk2010 8:40 pm
    m8

 Nintendork 13 13 8:40 pm
    wtf stealth suits
    I thought Atlas was the most sophisticated dudes.
    How come THEY don't use stealth suits?
    The Doctor
    ala The Deleter?

 RawkHawk2010 8:42 pm
    lol

 RawkHawk2010 8:42 pm
    yeah this is reminding me of Other M a lot

 Nintendork 13 13 8:42 pm
    I think the last one was like Other M also.

 RawkHawk2010 8:43 pm
    Bill Maher

 Nintendork 13 13 8:43 pm
    :|

 RawkHawk2010 8:43 pm
    that's him

 Nintendork 13 13 8:43 pm
    Bill Maher is a general in the army now?
    That's probably why the country has gone to shit.
    "On whose authority?"
    "On MY authority!"
    Scanning.

 RawkHawk2010 8:44 pm
    "Let's find the Key-Man."

 Nintendork 13 13 8:44 pm
    (ala Metroid)

 RawkHawk2010 8:44 pm
    what the fuck is a Key-Man?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:44 pm
    The ticket inside.
    I guess he's a living key.
    Like
    opening a door.

 RawkHawk2010 8:45 pm
    So...a locksmith?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:45 pm
    ...Yeah.
    Alternatively the building is like

 RawkHawk2010 8:45 pm
    well damn
    society has regressed

 Nintendork 13 13 8:45 pm
    protected by eye-scanner.
    Or something.
    Or fingerprint recognition.
    What would Anita think of Ilona?

 RawkHawk2010 8:46 pm
    she needs a man to function
    not good
    The WASP
    The White Anglo-Saxon Protestant?

 Nintendork 13 13 8:47 pm
    Controlled by the Wii U GamePad.
    Safety engaged!
    You can hear WASP trying to shoot.
    "SHIT! HE'S RIGGED! CLEAR THE ROOM!"
    Ilona still alive.
    THEY'RE SHOOTING THE WASP

 Nintendork 13 13 8:49 pm
    So a fake Hades was meeting with the real financial backers?
    Dat sniper

 RawkHawk2010 8:50 pm
    can we skip to 2:00

 Nintendork 13 13 8:50 pm
    no
    Dude just got hit by the Goshamobile.

 RawkHawk2010 8:50 pm
    wtf

 Nintendork 13 13 8:50 pm
    Yeah, Ilona does need a man to function.
    Since she was losing in the fight without Mitchell.

 RawkHawk2010 8:51 pm
    is that hades

 Nintendork 13 13 8:51 pm
    EKIA
    Hades: He knows. Iron knows.
    "What does Irons know?"
    Yes, that was apparently Hades.
    "Well, I like to get things done, so, no." - Irons on entering politics.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:53 pm
    Atlas has the largest army but only 3 dudes who do anything?
    Gideon has some weird walking.

 RawkHawk2010 8:54 pm
    im falling asleep

 Nintendork 13 13 8:54 pm
    :|
    shh
    We're gonna get a plot twist.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:55 pm
    woaahhhh

 RawkHawk2010 8:56 pm
    what happened

 Nintendork 13 13 8:56 pm
    Irons was warned about the nuclear attacks from Hades.
    But shot the guy who warned him
    And didn't tell anyone.
    So Irons is now the villain.
    Now a mysterious guy is directing Mitchell and Ilona

 Nintendork 13 13 8:57 pm
    as they're mowing down Atlas dudes.

 RawkHawk2010 8:57 pm
    So Irons is the new Biden?
    Wait.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:58 pm
    Biden from the previous CoD?

 RawkHawk2010 8:58 pm
    Was Biden the villain?
    Yes.

 Nintendork 13 13 8:58 pm
    no
    I don't think Biden was the villain!
    He got killed BY the villain.
    wtf Cormack
    He's still alive?
    Achievement Unlocked: Betrayal

 Nintendork 13 13 9:00 pm
    Of course the corporation guy is the bad guy.
    <_<
    So you're back with the United States army.
    ...did Rawk fall asleep?
    >_>

 Nintendork 13 13 9:03 pm
    They're hacking the guy's... desk?
    The Doctor is back!

 Nintendork 13 13 9:05 pm
    "Hold X to record the meeting"
    The Doctor (Chechyan 2nd in command) is in cahoots with Atlas and Iron.
    And the soldiers have Grapple Beams just like Samus.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:08 pm
    Achievement Unlocked: Crates on a Plane
    (oohh)
    Now they have JETPACKS
    to go after the plane with the crates.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:10 pm
    Now they're in Antarctica 'cause why not.
    Swimming.
    Gideon is also in Antarctica.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:13 pm
    He said his friends were KIA while they were alive.
    So they were all
    "what?"
    then he shot them.
    Achievement unlocked: The Destroyer Returns
    They recovered "Manticore" the Atlas bio-weapon.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:15 pm
    It kills everyone they don't have DNA in the database before.
    Going to Bulgaria to stop its production.
    Now there is a sniper on an Atlas helicopter shooting at Mitchell.
    And there is actually music.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:17 pm
    They finally got cloak suits.

 RawkHawk2010 9:17 pm
    awake
    what'd i miss

 Nintendork 13 13 9:17 pm
    yo
    uhhh
    Irons is evil and is developing a bio-weapon.
    With the Chechyans.
    So everyone betrayed him and is working for Anthony Higgs.
    Who is still with the United States.
    So now they're going to stop Atlas.
    At 1:25:05
    Now they're commencing a Subspace Emissary.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:21 pm
    I guess they're hijacking something.
    And Mitchell gets to operate it.
    ...but they leave it immediately.
    They stole some data.
    From Atlas.
    Applause.
  
    Irons has become a member of the United Nations Security Council.
    (despite mocking it earlier)

 Nintendork 13 13 9:23 pm
    Irons's bio-weapon can ethic cleanse.
    *ethnic
    Irons telling the United Nations off at the United Nations.
    Says the UN out-sourced the UN's function to him.
    "Because politicians don't know how to solve problems. But I do."
    Sounds like Herman Cain.
    Says the world's problems begin with the United Nations.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:25 pm
    Apparently Irons is planning to nuke San Francisco or something.
    Hold RT to drive.
    ...well so much for that.
    Shooting people from a van labeled
    "A moving company"
    Bunch of drones inside.
    Blows up a bridge.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:28 pm
    Mitchell rescues a generic cop.
    But watches another guy get crushed by a falling truck.
    Achievement unlocked: GG
    (GamerGate)

 RawkHawk2010 9:28 pm
    lol

 Nintendork 13 13 9:29 pm
    Anthony Higgs is overwhelmed on the radio.
    And his frame rate slows down.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:30 pm
    Mitchell and Gideon are the only dudes in Anthony Higgs's army left.
    They're sinking/kidnapped USA boats.
    They being Atlas.
    WE are throwing dudes off bridges.
    Using a blaster thing to blast... stuff.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:32 pm
    Achievement Unlocked: The Wrath Of Atlas
    Another Atlas commercial.
    Irons says the USA has held the world in a constant state of war in the past 100 years.
    Irons is a liberal nutjob who thinks that the USA is the cause of the world's problems.
    And Atlas has taken headquarters in fucking Iraq.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:35 pm
    "This is the beginning of the end... for one of us." - Mitchell
    Well who cares if Mitchell dies?
    Now they took a page from like
  
    the Star Wars racing game.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:37 pm
    Dudes suck at landing.
    Ilona is still alive.
    "Objective failed"

 Nintendork 13 13 9:39 pm
    Mitchell says he died
    Good men fight for the wrong causes.
    And corrupt men who think they're righteous.
    Now they're all going to a prison.

 RawkHawk2010 9:40 pm
    when is the final boss

 Nintendork 13 13 9:41 pm
    I dunno.
    They're all bound.
    And being thrown off the prisoner truck.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:41 pm
    Into a cage.
    Anthony Higgs got captured too.
    No one is coming to rescue them.
    Being stabbed with some needles.
    Irons has come there personally.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:43 pm
    Irons is disappointed that his former employees have failed to kill him.
    Will being referenced.
    "Will was the victim of the misguided policies of the United States government."

 RawkHawk2010 9:44 pm
    is this the final boss

 Nintendork 13 13 9:44 pm
    Irons says he believed in Mitchell.
    And is beating him right now.
    "You're nothing like Will."

 RawkHawk2010 9:45 pm
    the final battle is gonna be qtes

 Nintendork 13 13 9:45 pm
    They're literally on crucifixes.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:46 pm
    SOMEHOW Gideon and Ilona have broken free.
    And are rescuing you and Higgs.
    Rearmed by mugging a dead dude.
    Atlas planning to launch nukes on the coastal USA.
    Where all the liberals are.

 RawkHawk2010 9:48 pm
    wiat
    how did dennis escape?
    mitchell*

 Nintendork 13 13 9:48 pm
    He somehow got rescued by Gideon and Ilona.

 RawkHawk2010 9:48 pm
    collectahon
    t

 Nintendork 13 13 9:48 pm
    "The hell are we?"
    *checkpoint reached*
    "That doesn't sound good."
    Now there are
    um
    explosions
    Are they inside the nuclear warhead or what
    (This is like Ghost Trick(
    )
    (but worse)

 Nintendork 13 13 9:50 pm
    13 minutes left.
    "hit the manual punch out"
    PUNCH-OUT!! REFERENCE
    Mitchell has entered a mecha suit.

 RawkHawk2010 9:51 pm
    titanfall

 Nintendork 13 13 9:52 pm
    Tangos in the buildings.

 RawkHawk2010 9:52 pm
    Advanced Warfare becomes a Titanfall competitor in the last ten minutes

 Nintendork 13 13 9:52 pm
    Whatever that means.
    "Press X to break the lock"
    "Tap X to lift"
    Ejection.
    Well, Titanfall didn't last long.

 Nintendork 13 13 9:53 pm
    Anthony Higgs is finally going to die.
    Took him all game.
    But even he couldn't survive.
    His destiny is to die.
    "You got any ideas?"
    "Just one."
    Now it's Star Fox.
    "You got an enemy on your tail!"
    (They don't actually say that.)

 Nintendork 13 13 9:55 pm
    Back to Titanfall.
    With obnoxious sound effects.
    Button-mashing X.
    Hold RT and Lt to slow descent instead of just holding X.
    THAT'S character progression, folks!
    You hold two buttons at the end of the game while you only held one at the start!

 RawkHawk2010 9:57 pm
    is irons on that thing?

 Nintendork 13 13 9:57 pm
    Well it's a rocket.
    So probably not.
    I think that's what they're launching at the USA.
    Mecha suits broke again.
    Mitchell is apparently stuck.
    Their radios are apparently broken.
    So the USA thinks they died.
    And didn't stop the missiles.
    IRONS

 Nintendork 13 13 10:00 pm
    Irons has ends justify the means arguments.
    Irons believes he is not a monster because he won't kill Mitchell.
    (But all the dudes he already killed don't count?)

 RawkHawk2010 10:01 pm
    how did mitchell break free but not gideon?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:01 pm
    Gideon's is broken.

 RawkHawk2010 10:01 pm
    The Power of Will?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:01 pm
    Mitchell's wasn't.
    ya
    PURSUIT
    NINJA
    IRONS HAS A FUCKING NINJA
    press x to stab
    "I'm not letting go, so you got to pull me up!"

 Nintendork 13 13 10:02 pm
    Mitchell stabbed his arm off
    so Irons would fall and die.
    "ahhh MITCHELL"

 RawkHawk2010 10:02 pm
    hmm
    interesting symbolism

 Nintendork 13 13 10:02 pm
    ...well that's a shitty death scream.
    Gideon somehow is free.

 RawkHawk2010 10:03 pm
    but it feels kind of bad to kill the dude who just...spared you.
    doesn't it?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:03 pm
    Yeah.
    "Irons gave me a second chance, and I gave it back."
    "This wasn't the end, it was just the beginning."

 RawkHawk2010 10:03 pm
    Irons gave him a THIRD chance.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:03 pm
    Sequel hook?
    Yeah.
    end
    I guess the credits come after.
    (I assume NeoGAF isn't referenced in them.)

 Nintendork 13 13 10:05 pm
    Well.
    Thoughts?
    Besides your nap.

 RawkHawk2010 10:06 pm
    uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh
    The other CoD was better.
    I won't remember anything about this months from now.
    From the other I at least remember the dog.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:07 pm
    I don't remember anything about the other one besides Biden and the dog!

 RawkHawk2010 10:07 pm
    This Call of Duty literally put me to sleep!

 Nintendork 13 13 10:07 pm
    This one I'll remember Press X to pay your respects.

 RawkHawk2010 10:07 pm
    What happened to Romney?

 Nintendork 13 13 10:07 pm
    He deferred command to Bill Maher.
    Sounds like something Obama would do.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:08 pm
    "I heard about the Atlas plans to attack the United States on the news!"
    "I didn't know about this until you all did!"

 Nintendork 13 13 10:11 pm
    I thought it was a good Hollywood action movie.
    But yeah all the characters suck.

 Nintendork 13 13 10:13 pm
    As for the appropriateness of Veterans Day...
    ...............
    Yeah.
    Uh...
    ...Good luck figuring that out.


Ludwig and RawkHawk2010 communicate via AOL Instant Messenger, and you should too. It's a requirement in order to be KoopaTV staff, if you are interested!


Mitchell has indeed progressed far from his initial appearance at Microsoft's E3 2014 conference. See our live reactions to that here! 

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